Locke Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 (edited) My emotions are twisted, and my mind is confused. I am currently in high school, I know some of you might think that "high school problems are stupid" and looking back I probably will think that about this in the future, but for now its real to me and serious. There is this girl, a girl that ive truly liked for along time, but I never really got the nerve to make a move. If I was being honest my affection for her probably started back in middle school. I only recently started talking to her back in 2012, probably around December-ish. Shortly after we started talking she got back together with her ex for the third time, so I figured it wouldnt last too long. Today however, they are still together, but lets rewind to a few weeks ago. Me and her have texted alot, and I really mean alot, more than I have ever texted anyone that wasnt a close friend. Recently, the flirting was obvious, when someone puts a smiley face after every text message and the message itself is in that flirty context it becomes abundantly clear. Last Friday, she wanted me to go to the movies with her, keep in mind she has a boyfriend while all of this is going on. Of course he does not approve of this, and I honestly did feel bad about it, but we still went. After that day was over is when I became lost, once I actually got the chance to be around her and hangout with her, those feeling that started to grow way back in middle school for some unknown reason set in. After taking her to the movies and looking back on the great time we had, I was hooked. The biggest issue was at this point, it was like I failed to remember that she was taken. This got even worse as that weekend went on, she constantly texted me and told me how cool she thought I was and how we needed to hangout again, and the flirting like I mentioned before continued. Yesterday is when it got bad, flirting only goes so far when it comes to texting, but a slap on the ass is pretty affluent. Yeah she smacked my ass in school in front of a lot of people. Then she preceded to text me after I was done with track practice and from the very get go starting flirting with me. She invited me over to her house to watch a movie this coming Friday (which isnt happening anymore but we havent gotten to that yet) and it was to watch a scary movie (The Shining, which is scarier than hell in my opinion) and when I think of two people watching a scary movie together I think of cuddling. That could just be me but I am almost positive thats why us guys take girls to scary movies am I wrong? Anyway later that day after I drove home she was still texting me. This conversation led to the most intense flirting besides the love tap at school. At this point I thought she really liked me and had no regard for her boyfriend, so this conversation lead to me pretty much telling her I was going to kiss her when I got the chance. She didnt seem offended by it, but she said "I have a boyfriend you know." This is something I had totally ceased to care about due to the past few months of her continuous of flirting. It hit me like a ton of bricks that what we were doing is wrong, and it did the same for her. We had a long talk about how what was going on was bad and how she couldnt believe she was treating her boyfriend like this. Out of all of this came two really big kickers, 1. she told him about everything, which obviously just pissed him off, so he gives her an ultimatum, he wanted her to choose between me and him. She apparently chose herself which according to her means that she wants me as a friend but wants him as her boyfriend. He wasnt to happy with that choice and is still rather pissed about everything, understandably. 2. I have told her that I had feeling for her prior to us even going to the movies and she didnt seem to mind that even though she was taken. So when I told her last night like I already have like 4 times her reaction was quite the same. At this point I had agreed with her that what we had done was wrong and that it had to stop. As a matter of fact I agreed with most things she said because she was right. When I asked her if she had feelings for me too or if it was just me that had them, she said that she only wanted her boyfriend and that she was sorry. May I remind you that over the past 5 months we have been talking, and not like two friend talk. We went to the movies together, we are supposed to be going to a concert together. Not to mention all of the flirting and signs she gave me. Human being usually only want to do something if they want to do it, nobody was forcing her to flirt with me. If she really "loves" her boyfriend then why did she lead me on so hardcore for the past few weeks. It got to the point where it felt like we were more than friends. Anyway, the bottom line is this, I do have feelings for her still, even after this. Im not sure if she just feels bad for her boyfriend and is denying liking me or not, but I wont wait for her forever. Im not sure what I should tell her. I dont want to ruin their relationship, as a matter of fact that was the last thing I wanted. I was just blinded by all the leading on she did. Its both of our faults, and im just not sure what I should do now. She wanted some time to let all of this blow over so we are not talking for awhile. Im sorry if this is confusing to you and im sure it is, if there is anything you need to know please ask and I will answer it, I did my best to condense this but as a result it left out about 50% of everything. So to sum it up real quick, I like her alot, I have very strong feelings for her, she claims to not share these feeling but if that was true why was she leading me on? She may be in denial due to guilt I dont know. What I do know is I dont want to ruin their relationship as long as she is happy in it, the only way I would be with her is if she absolutely wanted to be with me. She acts like she wants to keep me around as a friend but I dont know if I can settle for that. Oh and one more thing, her boyfriend is a senior, so next year he's gpne. Please help if you can and like I said, any questions, just ask. Thanks. Edited April 10, 2013 by Locke Im sorry for all of the typos, I was trying to get his out really quick.
Brunettie Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Alright, well, first of all, I think the whole not talking for awhile thing is good. She needs to decide what she wants. She needs to decide if she wants to be with her boyfriend, it's not fair to him for her to be dating him if she has feelings for someone else (you). If she does stay with him, the flirting between you two needs to stop. If you two do hang out, well that's up to you too. People can still have friends of the opposite sex if they are in a relationship, but I can see how the boyfriend would be bothered. That's something you're going to need to think about. As for her leading you on like that, I don't know why. Maybe she is flirty by nature and didn't realize she was flirting (except for the love tap...) I'm referring to text messages. Maybe her boyfriend and her were having rough times, and she wanted the extra attention from you. There's really no way to tell for sure.
Author Locke Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 An outsider looking in always has a good since of direction it seems. I know that the flirting has to stop, I am just curious as to why if she truly likes him, did she lead me on? Like you said I probably will never know, and I am not sure I can just be friends with her. I think if it comes to that the best thing for me to do for my sake and for their relationships sake is to go on my way.
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