Lostint Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 It's almost a week since my last conversation with my ex - where he told me that he just doesn't think we would work out in the long run and I told him that I can't be friends. I am regretting saying that now - a couple of people on here have told me to take it slow and earn his trust again, and i feel like saying that has probably just pushed him further away and confirmed in his mind that I'm a bit nutso. His birthday is coming up this weekend - I'm going to send a text and leave it at that. Im thinking about waiting another couple of weeks and then writing him a letter appealing to his logic. I want to explain where I think we went wrong and how I think we can fix things. I'm not sure if this is just another terribly bad idea - what do people think? This would be my last effort to reach out to him and make up for breaking up with him 3 times.
Infnitysign Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Accept the break up and tell him its for the best and wish him happiness. Initiate no-contact for 4 to 5 weeks and just go out and have fun post your events on facebook but dont overdo it with the post. When its 4 to 5 weeks in if he doesn't contact you then you can ask him how's he has been and initiate friendly and positive conversation over coffee or somewhere quiet. DO NOT BRING UP THE PAST RELATIONSHIP that will only make you look weak and desperate. Most of all be charismatic and positive while you are in no-contact. 1
Author Lostint Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 Thanks Inf. this time away from him is just confirming that I made a terrible mistake - maybe after another three weeks I'll change my mind but I doubt it. Right now I feel like what I need is a strategy, exactly along the lines of what you suggested.
Infnitysign Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 I hope that this helps a little and the best of luck
Author Lostint Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Almost at two weeks. The crazy emotions / desperation are gone, I went through a few days of just extreme depression, not wanting to get out of bed etc. for the last few days I've been so busy at work and surrounded by people so much of the time that I've had little time to dwell. I'm thinking about him much less. Honestly I feel much happier, and can see that I will meet someone again and it's just a matter of time, but deep down I just feel ... sad. It's such a pity, to walk away when I think we never really gave it a chance. And weirdly, I keep seeing him out of the corner of my eye. It's never him obviously, as I'm overseas at the moment. This hasn't happened before, and he's quite unusual looking so it's not as if these people even look like him. I guess it's my subconscious playing tricks on me. It doesn't seem like there are any success stories on here regarding second chances. Realistically I have to accept that we will never ever get back together.
Minneloa Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 It is perfectly natural to feel sad. You are grieving the loss of the relationship and this person's place in your life. But I am glad to hear that time and space away from him have also allowed you to see things with new perspective. Sending good thoughts! 1
Author Lostint Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Thanks Min. I'm dreading going back and having to see him again. Funny that I could be dreading seeing the person my heart thinks it wants!
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