Underloved Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I wrote last week about how I thought my husband was cheating. I was right. I wanted to be wrong. Thank you for those that helped me find the proof. Now to find some way to live with the pain.
Athens Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 So sorry to hear this from yet another BS. Affairs are madness and inflict so much hurt and damage. All I can say is take care of you...scream if you need to, cry your eyes out if you have to, but take care of you. It gets a bit better everyday, I promise. I have no idea if its ever something you get over, but you will feel more and more like you each day. I was in a total fog, going through the motions of life for a few weeks, but then the fog lifted and I started taking care of me. Emotionally I am still quite bruised, but physically I am stronger than I have been in years. I have lost weight, focused on me...my H will say, damn you look good, you did not have to change for me, I let him know it was for me, not him.....hang tough and be good to you! 6
Holyoak Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I wrote last week about how I thought my husband was cheating. I was right. I wanted to be wrong. Thank you for those that helped me find the proof. Now to find some way to live with the pain. Fully agree, it gets "better", but weirder too... You can have days where you will cry, laugh, be angry, feel despair and then hope in the span of minutes. Also, you might notice your sex drive going crazy; hysterical bonding, and very, very normal. A lot on your plate, and what you though now would be gospel, could change the next day, so please understand you will be on a very unpredictable roller coaster for some time. It really helps to post, so please use this place and others as your lifeline. Please do not over do the alcohol if so disposed, and of course that means other drugs too. You may well find individual counseling a big help, and don't be afraid to lean on the shoulders of friends, even ones you have not talked to in years... You may be surprised just how nice it is, and how willing they are to help. Sorry for the unimaginable, confusing pain you are in, and I'm wishing you the very best. 5
krazikat Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I wrote last week about how I thought my husband was cheating. I was right. I wanted to be wrong. Thank you for those that helped me find the proof. Now to find some way to live with the pain. I am sorry you are dealing with this devastating situation. Dday for me was only 2 months ago...and I am feeling better and more like myself yet also feel on the verge of snapping? But I also have a close friend who is dying, so my stress levels are thru the roof...so I cant blame all of my stress and emotions on the a. Strange as it may sound, I feel closer to my husband than I have in years. Our dialog is much different...I believe the discovery and aftermath of said discovery of the affair helped us both realize how much we truly do love each other. I wanted to kick him to the curb when I found out...heck I was so pissed, so stressed, wanting to hurt him and barely restraining myself that I thought I would have to curb him for my own sanity. I dont know how your relationship with your h has been...but focus on YOU right now. You dont have to rush your decision, but take care of yourself...eat, exercise, have time with friends. it will get better. 4
Athens Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Kat, us too on the closer thing..I describe a few ways...a near death experience that makes you appreciate life more and/or the chance to say I would pick you all over again. My husband feels incredibly lucky that I love him enough to try to work through this, he feels awful about his behavior but never knew anyone could love him as much as I do and that's empowering for him. For me, it's a chance to hit the redo button and not settle for good enough, but to express exactly what I want the next forty or so years of my marriage to look like. Of course, I wish this was all possible without the pain of an affair, but although not equal roles, we did each have some role in this mess. 1
2sure Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I wrote last week about how I thought my husband was cheating. I was right. I wanted to be wrong. Thank you for those that helped me find the proof. Now to find some way to live with the pain. This is a Crisis. And like all, will pass. You will come out the other side OK. Know that first. During this Crisis, you have to be gentle with yourself. You need strength for yourself and your family. Be healthy. There are many people here who have stood in your shoes, although all of us are different. This can be a helpful place. I wish I could do something for you. 2
Steen719 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 So, so sorry, Underloved. It is just devastating, I know. Have you decided what you are going to do? What does he want to do? Have you told family? Gather friends and family close to help you get through it and regardless of what you decide, seek some counseling to be able to get it off your chest. Cry as much as you need to. It is cathartic. Come here and we will do our best to help you. Big hugs your way. 2
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