Ladyrascalz Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I realize this thread will be long but I need some serious help and opinions about my situation. Did I do the right thing here? I need some confirmation. I broke up with my bf of one year and a half. It was mostly because of trust, I can't be with someone who give me no reason to trust them. He's gone out with other girls and his friends to drink and we've had problems with that where I've forgiven him. I have a feeling he flirts around with other girls as well. He always asks to see my phone and I find it a little weird i've let him though because I have nothing to hide. If he's curious, then he can be. Anyway, I got an idea that I wanted to see how he would react if I spontaneously asked to see his. He acted super suspicious and he said "but why!?!" "WHY!" so finally I got really pissed and he's like OK i'll let you see it, and he's showing me his messages but he's holding the phone not clicking on any of them. I see ton of girls, so i'm like can I see their conversations please? you click it .. he's like stalling so finally I'm like listen I don't need to see them your reaction is enough to prove you aren't fully honest with me. We've also had problems with him being verbally abusive to me calling me a b**** and a whore. I've asked him to stop and he still continues. We broke up 5 days ago, he tried to come back and I said no way and he started calling me names like sult ect ect. He's not supportive at all, he's never here when I need him. He never takes me anywhere or does nice things!! I mean our anniversary was coming up and he gave me a watch. I don't care about gifts but time together should mean more than him just coming to my house. I know he's not ashamed of me because I've met all his friends. I don't understand, I'm so good to him and I do so much whatever he needs i'm there. If it's support he needs I'm there, I'm faithful and honest. He was broke and job less these past few months I loaned him money to pay his rent, I even wrote him an entire resume and applied to places so he could find work. I help him do his own college work when Im about to be a med student in a few months. I have no time but I give him some. He's younger than I am. I'm 22 and he's 19 and I've tried everything to make it work with him but I can't stay with someone when they don't treat me right. What do you guys think? Thanks in advance for your comments. I'm new to this lol
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Ditch the loser. He's immature. Vulgar. Talks down to you. Paranoid, yet he will not let you look through his phone? Something is off. You deserve better, now go get better.
tbf Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I think you have to ask yourself why you've stayed with someone who's an abusive hypocrite and treated them like a king. In treating someone like this well, you in effect are rewarding bad behaviour. Cut bait.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 You did the right thing by leaving. I hope you ignore every attempt he makes to come back into your life and go with strict NO contact. If he calls, dont answer. If he messages you on facebook, ignore it then block him (if you havent already.) If he texts you, you didnt get it. Just ignore this guy. He has taken enough of your time, but I hope you learn something about yourself here. Do nice things for you and pamper yourself for making such a wise, life changing decision. A great one! You should also try to figure out why you wanted to treat him well when you were being treated poorly by him. You teach people how to treat you. Dont let people walk all over you and dont expend energy on people who are not worth it. Your life is precious. Waste it on someone who loves you to pieces! 2
Author Ladyrascalz Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 You did the right thing by leaving. I hope you ignore every attempt he makes to come back into your life and go with strict NO contact. If he calls, dont answer. If he messages you on facebook, ignore it then block him (if you havent already.) If he texts you, you didnt get it. Just ignore this guy. He has taken enough of your time, but I hope you learn something about yourself here. Do nice things for you and pamper yourself for making such a wise, life changing decision. A great one! You should also try to figure out why you wanted to treat him well when you were being treated poorly by him. You teach people how to treat you. Dont let people walk all over you and dont expend energy on people who are not worth it. Your life is precious. Waste it on someone who loves you to pieces! Yeah you're right! I don't know why I let him do that to me. I thought maybe he would realize what a good thing he had and cleaned up his act I guess.
wisernow Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Yeah you're right! I don't know why I let him do that to me. I thought maybe he would realize what a good thing he had and cleaned up his act I guess. The first time (the very first time) a man calls you a bitch or a whore, that's your cue. You're only dating and he's acting like an ass and calling you names, imagine being married to this guy, when the real problems happen, kids, jobs, finances, etc. He's a douche. Don't look back. 2
foreverandalways Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 My ex husband used to call me the worst names and say things to me like "I hope you burn in hell". It was awful. I stayed with him because we have two kids, I kept thinking he would change. I kept thinking that if I treated him well, that he would be nicer to me. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, I was his secretary, I applied to jobs for him, I did everything. Eventually I realized that I deserve so much more than this in my life. Why was I giving him so much when he was giving me NOTHING in return. He treated me awful. I knew I had to go. Best decision of my life. I really hope you understand that you deserve to have someone that appreciates and respects you. Your situation is so similar to what mine was, and I can tell you, that it's better on the other side. I promise. I now found a boyfriend who respects me and appreciates all of the things I do for him, and never expects it or takes me for granted. And he would never call me such awful names...and I'm so much stronger now that if he ever did, I know I have the choice to leave. 1
wisernow Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 My ex husband used to call me the worst names and say things to me like "I hope you burn in hell". It was awful. I stayed with him because we have two kids, I kept thinking he would change. I kept thinking that if I treated him well, that he would be nicer to me. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, I was his secretary, I applied to jobs for him, I did everything. Eventually I realized that I deserve so much more than this in my life. Why was I giving him so much when he was giving me NOTHING in return. He treated me awful. I knew I had to go. Best decision of my life. I really hope you understand that you deserve to have someone that appreciates and respects you. Your situation is so similar to what mine was, and I can tell you, that it's better on the other side. I promise. I now found a boyfriend who respects me and appreciates all of the things I do for him, and never expects it or takes me for granted. And he would never call me such awful names...and I'm so much stronger now that if he ever did, I know I have the choice to leave. I'm glad you got out of that abusive relationship. I hope you're happy and never settle for that type of abuse again. 1
Author Ladyrascalz Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 My ex husband used to call me the worst names and say things to me like "I hope you burn in hell". It was awful. I stayed with him because we have two kids, I kept thinking he would change. I kept thinking that if I treated him well, that he would be nicer to me. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, I was his secretary, I applied to jobs for him, I did everything. Eventually I realized that I deserve so much more than this in my life. Why was I giving him so much when he was giving me NOTHING in return. He treated me awful. I knew I had to go. Best decision of my life. I really hope you understand that you deserve to have someone that appreciates and respects you. Your situation is so similar to what mine was, and I can tell you, that it's better on the other side. I promise. I now found a boyfriend who respects me and appreciates all of the things I do for him, and never expects it or takes me for granted. And he would never call me such awful names...and I'm so much stronger now that if he ever did, I know I have the choice to leave. Thank you so much for the personal experience, I'm NOT going back there. If he's like this now I don't want to know what it's going to be like if we get married or start living together. You are so right that there is a man out there who will respect me and appreciate me and all the other things I do and he will NEVER expect it or take me for granted. I think I possibly met him already but I just never saw it till I went through this awful experience. That's exactly what I was doing being super nice hoping he'll see it and reciprocate. 1
foreverandalways Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I really do wish you the best of luck. The hardest decision is to leave, all other choices after that will be easier. 1
Author Ladyrascalz Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 I really do wish you the best of luck. The hardest decision is to leave, all other choices after that will be easier. That's comforting to know ...
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