syw0806 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Has anyone had this kind of relationship? I've been seeing this guy for about 2 mos, I met him on a dating site. we both still active on the site, but we both were not dating anybody else.. I know he's not on a date w anybody because he always texts/calls in the evening and night when we not see eachother. I thought we are just naturally leading this to exclusive relationship, but then he says we are friends and we are not dating. we do other stuffs together too but mostly it's based on sex. so one day I told him that I will be on a date, and he went crazy asking all the questions about my date and he doesn't understand why I'm going on a date while I'm seeing him and we have good sex. He is very jealous guy, if I don't answer his phone, he goes nuts keeps calling, even to my sister to make sure if I'm okay, and to check if I'm with other guys. I don't understand him,, if he asks me to be his girlfriend, I'm willing to, and if not, I'm still okay with this relationship we're having, yet if he doesnt want a relationship, I want to date other guys. it's not that he is not going on a date with other girls, but he said we might start dating but before that we should just enjoy have fun what we are in now. then again, for example, If he knows that I'm hanging out or seeing other guy on this sunday, he would try to make a schedule with me on sunday so he can block him away from me. I thought friends with benefits are two people having sex n stay clear about eachother's dating life.. I mean, either him or anyother guy, I want a relationship eventually with someone. I'm more like a stay w one guy, relationship girl. but he seems like he doesn't want relationship w me obviously, but he's not looking for someone else either. so what is it? are we just kinda in a denial relationship? or he doesn't want any relationship now? If I ask him, he's just saying he's not seeing anyone else now and he's busy with doing his stuffs and all his exes gave him dramas headaches...
PogoStick Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Exclusive FWB is pretty normal. Lot's of people want monogamy when sex starts even if the relationship stays casual. If you are in agreement then there's no problem with dating on the side too, but you are not in agreement. I think the jealousy is so unattractive and it's sad that you are ok with it. Plus he's not attracted to you enough to make you his gf. You should break with this guy completely and keep dating until you find the right one. He might agree to a relationship to tie you down but you shouldn't allow that to happen. It's not a good situation, keep looking! 3
ses Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Dump him. He's not worth it. Find a guy who will give you the exclusivity and commitment you desire in a relationship. Don't settle for a FWB if you want something more. It's not fair for you, and for him. His jealousy is not an indication of feelings; he just wants his cake too. He enjoys the free sex he's getting at the moment and has no incentive to change the status quo.
veggirl Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 This guy is a massive waste of your time. Continue being fwb with him and you will get more and more attached, he will act like a jealous psycho but never committ, and you will be the one who gets hurt. Just tell him "sorry but I'm looking for a relationship, you aren't, I am going to be dating others. Have a good life." Don't be fking him and still trying to date others, that's just tacky. Don't continue dating or whatever him exclusively, that's a waste of time. Just walk away from this one, cut your losses. 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 The whole point of having FWB's is that you need not remain exclusive to one partner alone, providing you're both clear and happy with that. Exclusivity would mean that the situation may be slightly more than a FWB scenario: maybe a casual liaison.... But this guy's way off the wall, and I agree with others: You need to ditch him, and a lot, lot sooner rather than later.
foreverandalways Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I think in a FWB situation, exclusivity should only be in relation to sex. Therefore, if I'm sleeping with you, you're not sleeping with anyone else. It's really a safety issue, and not wanting to get STD's and what not. Each is free to date other people. However if those releationships turn into a sexual relationship, the other party in the FWB has the right to know about that. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Only on loveshack are their FWB's with rules, exclusive and what not, quasai relationships. A FWB is someone you have sex with no strings attaced, no rules no exlusivity. If you are exlusive or have "rules" you're not in FWB, you're in a shytty relationship. 3
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 This sounds totally nuts. FWB means no strings attached. There is ONE rule, notify your partner if you are having sex with someone else. It's an absolutely essential rule but it's the ONLY rule. WTF...
outsidethebox Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 OP, you shouldn't have to deal with that behavior even if he was your bf. The other posters are right. Hopefully you won't be giving him so much as the time of day. And he will go postal on you. Better now than later.
Michelle83 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 This guy is a massive waste of your time. Continue being fwb with him and you will get more and more attached, he will act like a jealous psycho but never committ, and you will be the one who gets hurt. Just tell him "sorry but I'm looking for a relationship, you aren't, I am going to be dating others. Have a good life." Don't be fking him and still trying to date others, that's just tacky. Don't continue dating or whatever him exclusively, that's a waste of time. Just walk away from this one, cut your losses. I couldn't agree with this more. Of course he's jealous, he realizes that as soon as you find someone who does want to date you, his little party of regular sex with no attachment will be gone. He doesn't want you, just your body and wants to make sure no other guys can get a chance at you.
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