Mme. Chaucer Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 On the Infidelity forum there's a new thread that mentions a "sister thread" on this forum, but I couldn't find it here. I thought it would be interesting to get the perspectives from this side of the equation, so I'm posing the question myself. It's mostly the same post from the other forum but with a few changes to make it pertinent to this one. I'm sincerely interested. One of the things I find very confusing about many threads on this part of LoveShack is the evident (to me) desire to BE an "other woman." I'm wondering why, and how this serves you and the relationship you're in. When I was, I just wished the guy wasn't married. I hoped he'd choose me, and I felt like I wasn't getting all of him I wanted. I would not have embraced a title like "Other Woman" as my identity. Sometimes, I was in the state of mind that he was my boyfriend and the "issue" was temporary (though he really never led me to believe that). Sometimes, I was basically pissed - at him and at me. I did try to find fault with his wife, and also got an ego boost because I found her very gorgeous and still he wanted me … But being an "Other Woman" and having endless things to discuss at length about my inhabitation of the role, I can't relate to. Thus, my "sister thread" to LFH's on the Infidelity forum: From those of you that have ended up with your AP following their divorce; there are posts here saying that you're doing great and you haven't even thought of his marriage, or the fact that he was unfaithful. Yet by posting here and elsewhere, frequently, isn't that invaliding those words? Same question for those of you who are still contentedly in affair mode with a married person - isn't posting here invalidating your claims to be perfectly happy in your situation? If it's not, please explain why you continue? Do you feel that by discussing it frequently and with regularity, and maintaining the identity of "OW" throughout, that you have limited your ability to go forward? How does your current, or former AP feel about you "holding onto this" and in some cases many years later still participating in discussions, weekly, and for some, daily? For those of you are still involved in affairs, do your current affair partners have any idea of the amount of time you may spend discussing your affair, his wife his marriage and other aspects of his personal life? If you're now exclusively with your former married man, does he know that you think of yourself still as an Other Woman and align yourself with other Other Women for great portions of your days? If they are aware, what's their opinion of it? If not, how do you think that they would feel if they knew?
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