SalientPoint Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I say do it. When you're in the thick of it, trust me you do NOT want to see pics of them and someone new, or going out and having a great time while you feel like dying. I find this is the hardest part though for me personally. Sometimes it helps to set a deadline. I'm giving myself until Friday to do the facebook break up. 1
geegirl Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 If you are still in pain, you don't need additional triggers to keep you from moving on. You can block her if you're finding it hard to sever that final tie.
McGriff Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Lol---it took me 20 minutes of agony to push the button to delete her. But, after I did, I felt better, because I felt like I took away the hammer I was using to bash my head in. Crazy we are.
Author Jord11 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 I want too but I don't want to show weakness, you know what I mean
McGriff Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I think it shows STRENGTH. What does it say to her/him? You don't want to be a part of my life---so be it!
SalientPoint Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I think it shows STRENGTH. What does it say to her/him? You don't want to be a part of my life---so be it! Totes. One of my old manager's said something that stuck with me once when I was younger and questioning whether to do this or not, " You're not in my life, why would you stay on my facebook." It helps not to have those triggers jumping out at you, and early on in the breakup I think self preservation trumps all. 1
itto ogami Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I was actually dumped with a Facebook message. I instinctively, immediately unfriended her -- within an hour she had posted "in a new relationship" on her FB page. I assumr she was outraged I would unfriend her. I went into immediate NC and am on Day 31. She has sent three messages (she was actually outraged I unfriended her.) No Contact was the single best decision I made in our time together. Facebook is torture with an ex. You don;t want to be checking status and photos for new relationship facts. And the importance some place on having a FB "friendship" after a dumping will return your self-worth and dignity and control when you delete that friendship.
geegirl Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I want too but I don't want to show weakness, you know what I mean If anything, it's weak pretending you're strong just because you need to create this false perception at the expense of your own emotional well-being. Acknowledging you are hurt and being aware that it's the best thing to do for YOU is a sign of strength. It shows her that you're choosing YOU, not her.
Cogee Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I say don't just delete... BLOCK! After that you will know nothing about each other and there will be no messages, or tagging complications, or any awareness of who is doing what with who. Makes life a lot simpler on FB. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Take it one step further and dump the account entirely...Not worth the trouble. At this point, I dont think I would even consider a partner that was a social media nut. There is just something wrong with the whole thing. When I say this I am not talking the casual user, but the person that is CONSTANTLY on FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc... TFOY 1
Damsel in Distress Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 This thread appeared at a good time. I have not unfriended or blocked. If I'm honest I have kept it open so I can see if he has any online presence. For the past 6 weeks there was no activity (except for two announcements about games my friends play). Then today he made two new friends (one married, one a kid) and liked a page. Totally innocuous things. But it felt like I was stabbed in the heart - Because this was the first sign that he's alive and well and interacting with others... but not with me. I felt that jittery feeling and desperately wanted to call him - I don't know why other than I had just been slapped in the face with evidence that he is around and about. I called a friend instead and she was able to restrain me, lol. Gosh I know I should delete him... and I am making progress, but I'm finding it so hard to shut that door all the way. I'm not even sure I want him back, but I guess my fantasy is that he will attempt contact. I'll coolly ignore it for a reasonable amount of time. He'll call again and I'll eventually call back. He will fall all over himself apologizing and explaining and admitting he made a mistake. And that I will be strong enough to tell him "Your loss." Plus I still use FB and other sites to stalking I do feel resentful that he can see my FB page. I feel like if he wants a peek into my life to see how I'm doing he should have to make contact. I do know that when i get strong enough to delete him it will be a huge step in my healing.
Rainy1030 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I did. I had blocked him but I was still seeing his name pop up on my side bar constantly and it wasn't helping. The pic he had was our daughter but who knows how long before he'd have put a pic of the girl he left me for and him together on there. I have enough to deal with without dealing with him too-and I agree, why would I have him as a friend on FB when he isn't my friend? A friend doesn't treat another person the way he's been treating me So, buh-bye. I'm good, I like not seeing his name anymore! 1
Cogee Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Damsel, deleting and blocking isn't shutting any doors, it's actually opening the door to healing. Just because he won't be able to see you any more or use social media to contact you doesn't mean you stop existing. If he ever truly wants to get a hold of you there are so many ways. The fact is the social media is a constant reminder to you of him and you need to stop looking. Your interactions have stopped, and in no way can you interact as friends/acquaintances, so you have to remove the visual interactions. If you knew he would go shopping at a certain store every single day at a certain time, would you go there to watch him? Of course not, so stop watching him online! 1
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