eotdevice Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 OK, so I am currently 41 been separated for just over 2 years after a 15 year marriage. Been going thru the divorce process for over a year. I had a woman friend (outside the marriage) from the time I was 14 until the time I separated. I was platonic. She too had been married. It was a good friendship. We became more intimate after separating; we were both 39. She has a son, I have three sons. In any case we had a great relationship from the time we started, building off that longtime friendship. We did everything together. After about a year (post filing for divorce) I introduced her to my kids and things were well. I will say she was always a little more of a firecracker compared to my conservative nature, but we balanced each other well. In July of last year the relationship began to change. She called me out for being 'cheap' and made a scene while on a date with friends (she was drunk) but she knew full well that until my divorce is finalized I am supporting an ex and three kids in the former family home. Money for both of us was tight. We would alternate paying for meals, I took her on some overnight trips and she did the same for me. But again, she brought it up. The next day she was very cold, distant, went to a friend's got drunk again and the friend's husband ends up being a bit to forward with her laying on her in bed and sending her naked photos of himself....the excuse, they were all drunk. I was very upset and told her so. Her response, if you don't like it date someone else. We both apologized after a week and everything seemed fine. The next few months she grew more distant. Not confiding in me as much as before, not contacting me as much. IN early October after my divorce settlement hearing she disappered for 3 weeks. I repeatedly tried to contact her with no response. Post 3 weeks she asked me out to dinner and said she wanted to "date" me but not like before. She wanted me to sweep her off her feet, not be so cheap, and act more like her father (whom died 5 years before). I said I would try. But the more I thought about it, I felt she already checked out of the relationship. We had a few more weeks of bouncing along, no real dates, no real contact even though I would call, text or email her often without responses. She did ask me to "date" her again after that. However I grew weary. I didn't think she wanted to invest her time anymore. I asked her to fight for us. and she said she couldn't. I explained my reasoning for being reluctant hoping she would attempt to work on us a little harder. She said she didn't have it in her. So I ended it with her. Since that time she has not contacted me once. I have emailed her about once per month with no responses or very limited response. I care for her deeply, love(d) her deeply, and I sit every day pining over her. I have tried to date again, but it hasn't been a good experience. I sometimes regret the choice. She has moved on and has stated...she does not look back... What are the forums thoughts?
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 She's made her decision, and it seems nothing you're doing is changing that. Ergo: You need to accept it, and move on. 1
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