Ex12 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Okay so maybe its due to my stubbornness and I also suffer from this thing called a hard head (lol) but I'm having a hard time understanding my ex (which is why we called it off) After a three year relationship we had a nasty breakup. We always do and always end up together but this time I doubt there is a second chance. I am hoping for one though because I feel like three years is too much to throw away and I absolutely don't want to start over with another man. I already grew tolerant for my ex and was always willing to work things out. So after our breakup I kept calling him and I dug myself into a deeper hole by not giving him his space. Well after a week I called him to see if he cooled down and he hasn't. I'm afraid he has his mind really made up about the breakup. He said to call him in a year or so and maybe we can talk about being friends. I don't understand... ONE YEAR?! Is he just being mean or is this the truth. Why did he even cut me out of his life. I was there through the hard time and he was there for me too. A month ago we really loved each other now he acts as if I hurt him and he hates me. Hes a grown man so I have no idea why he is acting childish. I already dug a whole so deep that I think its nearly impossible for us to have another shot at this. How do get to the top again? Edited April 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
WhatYouWantToHear Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) How do get to the top again? What an apt choice of words. You talk as if your relationship is something you tried to win at. Now he took his ball and decided not to play with you any more and you're calling him a sore loser. Reread your post and try and see the contempt you have for him. He's probably just tired of it. Edited April 9, 2013 by WhatYouWantToHear
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Men have zero interest in being mere 'friends' with women they wouldn't rather be banging. Certain exceptions exist in the areas of family and coworkers, etc.
CompleteFailure Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 You're not telling us much about how/why you broke up. All you've said is you guys fought and he's mad. Is it because you took the last cookie in the box or did you drop his toothbrush in the toilet? Different degrees of severity generate different responses.
Author Ex12 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Its too much too explain. We hardly saw eye to eye and I was upset that I was the one who initiated the phone calls and text I was the one who set up our dates and I was the one always going to see him. He was emotionally abusive at times and felt depressed throughout our relationship because I had no family around in my state. Despite all of this I tried my best to work things out with him but instead he got mad at me and saw my dedication as me being pushy and clingy. Its just upsetting how after three years someone is capable of hurting someone they use to love like this. He was my first in everything... so its hard giving up.
Author Ex12 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 What an apt choice of words. You talk as if your relationship is something you tried to win at. Now he took his ball and decided not to play with you any more and you're calling him a sore loser. Reread your post and try and see the contempt you have for him. He's probably just tired of it. I do resent the fact that he gave up on our relationship after three years but I do see why you would see my contempt for him in my post. I was pissed considering my three year relationship has ended and he stopped calling cold turkey. Also, Text usually don't transfer well and I believe that is why our relationship has come to a demise. He hated picking up the phone so when I would tell him something he would think I was yelling it to him via text or just being a bitch. It was hard for both of us to understand each other honestly. We both aren't really good at communicating.
ThorntonMelon Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 So after our breakup I kept calling him and I dug myself into a deeper hole by not giving him his space. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't need space. You did nothing wrong here other than maybe hurt your own pride. Well after a week I called him to see if he cooled down and he hasn't. I'm afraid he has his mind really made up about the breakup. He said to call him in a year or so and maybe we can talk about being friends. I don't understand... ONE YEAR?! Is he just being mean or is this the truth. Again, this is supposed to be a relationship YOU want. Why is everything being put in his lap to decide? I mean, he seems like a tool, but that's a different issue altogether. If the entirety of the conversation is you asking him to re-define your relationship, it sort of speaks for itself. So yeah, he's telling the truth. Why did he even cut me out of his life. I was there through the hard time and he was there for me too. A month ago we really loved each other now he acts as if I hurt him and he hates me. Because he's not who you thought he was. Unfortunately that means heartbreak for you, fortunately you now have your days to find someone who might actually be what you need. Who gives a damn how he acts - either he's with you or not with you, if he was really nice to you but didn't want to be with you, makes no difference. Hes a grown man so I have no idea why he is acting childish. I already dug a whole so deep that I think its nearly impossible for us to have another shot at this. How do get to the top again? By finding another guy who will put you on top. Which means grieving this relationship and not settling for someone who you are simply tolerant of and with whom you feel the time invested requres you stick around in a less that fulfilling relationship.
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