paperboy48 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I broke up with my girlfriend of five months, this past Saturday. The summary of it is I was focusing on the negatives and not the positives. I have done that before in a previous relationship. That is somehing I am going to work on with my counselor. Anyways, I realize that this girl is truly the best friend I have EVER had in my 36 years of life. She really is special to me. I messed up and made a huge mistake. I bought her flowers and am going to wait by her car for when she gets out of work. I plan to tell her I am sorry, I made a big mistake. And that she was right I should have talked with her about thethings that were bothering me rather than my friends and family. I am going to tell her she is the best frind I have ever had. I love her so much! Any advice or words of wisdom? LOL Or, maybe just wish me luck! Thanks 2
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 when I broke it off with her, I did that because I felt she was becoming to controlling and she was detached from me emotionally a lot of the times we were together. I felt that she was so career focused and just focused with life in general that she was basically detached with me when we were togehter a lot of the times. Also, recently we discussed the possibilty of having children. I told her I didn't think I wanted kids. In the beginning I told her I wasn't sure...which was the truth. She told me she loves my children but it wouldn't be the same thing as her having her own children. What's changed?
Author paperboy48 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 I made a mistake...I am human. Everyone makes mistakes. I made a foolish decesion. I focused on the few flaws rather then the positives 2
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I don't know man, those sound like some pretty significant issues to me. Certainly well worth being concerned about. Maybe I'm way off base here, and feel free to tell me if that's the case: obviously I rooted through some of your posting history, by the fact I posted what I did above. It seems to me that you haven't been divorced from your ex all that long before you met this woman, and right up until that point, seemed awfully concerned with what your ex was doing and thinking. Have you given yourself enough time to heal from the divorce? Some folks can jump right back into the game, and some can't or at least shouldn't. They need some time alone to process and evaluate. My concern is that maybe you transferred your mental and emotional energy from your ex to the new woman without a pause and without some necessary reflection and introspection. Not a good basis for a new relationship. Sure, you can show up with flowers and do the groveling that's necessary in most of these cases. And maybe you'll succeed in winning her back and maybe you won't. But maybe you need to ask yourself why you're doing it: is it that she's really THAT special, or are you afraid to be alone, including with your own thoughts? Really man, I'm not trying to be Freud Jr. here, I really am trying to help.
singme2sleep Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Good luck! And I wish my ex would do this lol Keep us updated on how it goes...
Author paperboy48 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 I don't know man, those sound like some pretty significant issues to me. Certainly well worth being concerned about. Maybe I'm way off base here, and feel free to tell me if that's the case: obviously I rooted through some of your posting history, by the fact I posted what I did above. It seems to me that you haven't been divorced from your ex all that long before you met this woman, and right up until that point, seemed awfully concerned with what your ex was doing and thinking. Have you given yourself enough time to heal from the divorce? Some folks can jump right back into the game, and some can't or at least shouldn't. They need some time alone to process and evaluate. My concern is that maybe you transferred your mental and emotional energy from your ex to the new woman without a pause and without some necessary reflection and introspection. Not a good basis for a new relationship. Sure, you can show up with flowers and do the groveling that's necessary in most of these cases. And maybe you'll succeed in winning her back and maybe you won't. But maybe you need to ask yourself why you're doing it: is it that she's really THAT special, or are you afraid to be alone, including with your own thoughts? Really man, I'm not trying to be Freud Jr. here, I really am trying to help. She's really that special...she's my best friend
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 She's really that special...she's my best friend Way to go.... One line answer, which says nothing at all, to long, carefully-thought-out post. This will end badly.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I give it a month. But best of luck to you, I hope I'm wrong......
singme2sleep Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Happy for you! This time hold on to her tight lol 2
OwlSoul Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 I give it a month. But best of luck to you, I hope I'm wrong...... Bad Tara, baaaaad.
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Maybe I should change my name to CynicMaiden... I bin around here too long......
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