RhapsodyinBlue Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Me and a good "friend" got into an argument because I felt like he was always coming to me with his problems. He always blew my attempts to hang out, but always found time to go to bars, movies, movie premieres, hiking, concerts and dinner with his other two friends. We hadn’t hung out in a month and a half and the last time we had hung out he told me he needed someone to talk to about his "falling out" with one of his best friends. Keep in mind, he also called me in the middle of the day because he was “scarred” and found his ex-bf’s instagram account. Of course, his ex has a new boyfriend. My ex-friend seems to be one of the sweetest, coolest, most intelligent and hard working person I know...so I thought. But I warned him several times not to only come to me with his problems. I had a friend who used me at his emotional convenience and then disappeared and ignored my texts and calls. I guess he didn't need his "friend" anymore. At that point I told him I was done with the argument because of course After I kept constantly feeling like I wasn't being heard, and when he called the argument "frankly stupid and immature." I told him I was done. He took that as me saying goodbye and began to ignore me for a week. I told him that is not what I meant. I sent texts, emails, phone calls and a Facebook message. He even blocked me on Facebook. After numerous attempts, I even sent a message saying if he didn't respond that I could assume he was no longer interested in having a friendship. I felt like a FOOL because I sent even more messages after that to his email address since I was out of the country. Of course I only got ignored. Eventually, he apologized for acting immature, and thought we could talk things out--but only in person. But that would have to wait a week because he was "too busy." Of course, I expressed my concern again about feeling like counselor (with an appointment and everything). He said I make everything about me and I "started all of this." This time he admitted there were "reasons" behind we didn't hang out as much and why he hung out with them more. Sorry, but my concern was never stupid or immature, it was valid. He even admitted there were reasons. I told him I'd prefer to talk on the phone since it'd be sooner rather than waiting in person (later). He didn't even care anymore. He told me I needed to just leave him alone and he didn’t want to discuss anything else further. And he cut me off again...just like *that* I had told him he was pathetic and used some other obscenities (but no name calling). I apologized again a couple of days later for cursing and calling him pathetic. He said he could forgive my words, but he “absolutely has no interest in staying in contact" with me, and that I needed to "respect that." ::OUCH:: I didn't even respond. I've done enough fighting for out friendship. He doesn't have a big social life and his family doesn't talk to him because he's gay. I'm sure he used to cutting ties with people, but that's kind of scary. He told me several times in the past before our argument(s) began that he promised wouldn't let go (of me) or that he would never leave. So much for that. Whether he tries to come waltzing back or not, I'm having a hard time of "just letting it go" like everyone else suggests. Don't get me wrong, I have no reason or desire to hit him up, but I've never been told directly I was being cut off. For a split second, it stung. Then I thought all the ignoring he did. I don't know, I feel sort of like a peasant, or "less than" and even invisible. But I know those things aren't true. A huge part of me would like to know his justification for hanging out with friends who HE SAID were manipulative, spiritually empty and/or too unemotional. He appreciated that I was his only friend who was pretty spiritual. Had he just immediately answered and not respond in defense mode, it would've saved a lot of drama.
Author RhapsodyinBlue Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 I'm probably over-thinking this situation and too caught up in my emotions. He wants to be left alone and has "absolutely no interest" in staying in contact, then I need to move on and respect that. I need to put the idea that he will contact me again one day in a burning fire. I'm probably hurting more than he is and he probably doesn't give a damn about me or the situation. I won't give him that power.
Recommended Posts