winstonsdreams Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Well here i am again, 11 months on. Man where does time go? I see a lot of new people on here, seems like the oldies have moved on. Good for them. I wanted to come here to vent i guess, because at 11 months on i still think of my ex everyday. Been NC for like i dunno 8 months? Never heard from her again after she started dating again, i have been mainly single, trying to date a little but not feeling it at all. I still feel like a fool for ending it, but at some point you have to live your decisions, i hope she is happy of course, she deserved better than a piece of s*** like me. I was the dumper of course, and i came crawling back to her 8 weeks later begging for another chance lol. Boy did she tell me where to go, as did her mother, but you have to respect that or else you end up like Frederickkk, that guy still floating round?! I wish i could go back and talk to the idiot that walked out, i want to tell him he has something special and someone you can spend the rest of your life with. It's not so bad raising someone else's kid, just man up and stay put and be patient you're in love that's all that matters. But i won't get that chance. I can't even begin to describe how empty my heart feels, i am nearly 30 and feel so lonely and sad. But i am incredibly good at hiding it and never talk about it anymore. Why do things happen? I guess i learnt another harsh life lesson, one i am still paying for 11 months on. I guess i am paying for all the stuff i have done wrong in my life. Anyway, just want to reassure people dumpers feel pain, i guess i am a bit soft, i just want to feel something again, hopefully she comes around the corner one day. Until then..
sweetjess1951 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 why did you break up with her? How long were you guys together?
Author winstonsdreams Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 only together for a few months been broken up way longer. i ended it because i am a coward. she had a son from a previous marriage and i couldn't handle it, i hate myself for it to this day. what can you do? after not seeing or talking to her a few weeks i missed her and woke up to what a jerk i was. i didn't even deserve another chance. oh well sucks to be me. funny i had to block her on Facebook, glad i haven't seen her since i wouldn't be able to handle it really.
aeren944 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 (edited) Dude, as a 32 year old, the first thing I'd like to tell you is you will have PLENTY of opportunities for raising someone else's kid! I'm just saying, because that's pretty much all I run into nowadays. So, I feel like you're kind of a pro and bashing yourself, and breaking off this relationship has unlocked the gate and allowed you an excuse to bash yourself. You feel bad for making the decision that you made, and I understand that. The thing now is to learn from it. It's counterproductive to sit and bash yourself... "I'm a loser"... "I'm a fool for ending it"... "blahblahblah"... these are completely counterproductive. Easy to say, but there's nothing to be learned from that. Ask yourself why you're a loser or a jerk? Because you made a decision based on your feelings? Because you thought you could not handle raising someone else's kid and this makes you feel badly? Let me tell you, that's not something you should feel badly about. If you're trying to be a parent out of blind responsibility, even though you don't want to, you may not be great for a developing child. That's doesn't mean "you are NOT great for a developing child", it means the attitude and the place you were in at the time would not have been good. Thus, your decision is completely understandable, and you should feel no shame in it. Anyway, ask yourself why, then change what you want to change. I'm sure this girl was awesome, and you greatly regret your decision. But regret will not push you forward. Edit: Oh, and you will run into another girl for sure... just fyi. Right now, learn & apply... Edited April 10, 2013 by aeren944 1
Author winstonsdreams Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 aeren944 man thank you so much for those words, i needed to hear all that. I don't know why i keep bashing myself up over it. We had an awesome relationship and i did treat her amazingly well. I know i am a good man deep down and i still have plenty to offer, and i do love kids! It was bad timing and it all got the better of me, this was an experience that i have to learn from to become a better person. I know i am not a loser, I made a decision based on what i felt at the time, i don't think i should have to pay for my mistakes forever, surely i will get another chance at love one day. I will move on and hopefully, I have to stop regretting my decision i guess. Thanks for that, you really helped me a lot, LS has been great to me! 1
singme2sleep Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 Did you ever try to get her back at some point?
Author winstonsdreams Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 yeah dude of course, she wouldn't see me then her mother told me to back off and leave her alone so of course i did. i would have moved heaven and earth to get her back but it was too late.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I too would have moved heaven and earth to correct my mistakes. She was NOT perfect, but neither was I, so I know how you feel. Its just over a year ago today I asked her to marry me. (Eight years after we met) and 7k+ for and engagent ring- yet I'm here. I made mistakes, wasn't a perfect man, but always ADORED her. I would have walked the ends of the earth for her- I did. Sorry OP, didn't mean to hijack. Just need to vent and I know how you feel. Having a really bad nite.
aeren944 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 BrokenHeartedSavior, I was in the same position about 3 years ago. Was with my ex for 7 years, asked her to marry me, and she'd cheated on me a little over 2 months later. I know that whole feeling... with the engagement ring and everything. Things do get better, though... it will happen.
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