uniqwa Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I loved him.. CANT ****ING LET GO!!! can't forget, Can't kill the love I have, O_- he left me for someone else.. He didn't give me the benefit of the doubt.. He literally said she's better, she's what he wants.. He doesn't want to be with me " would rather die"... WTF.... He broke my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CompleteFailure Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 People talk a lot of sh.t sometimes just to try and hurt you. They think by doing that it will be easier for you to let them go. They don't understand that words can hit very hard and to the core. I know it sounds stupid, but don't take stuff like that personally. That guy sounds extremely immature. 2
New2Love4Now Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I know how you feel. Well, she didn't say those things to me but her not wanting anything to do with me a week after the BU and seeing another guy while we were still together says it all. If he really did say those things to you without you doing something very bad to him... he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve anyone. He sounds like a huge jackass and his new relationship will fail. How can you love someone who says those things to you? There are guys out there that would treat you like a queen and never do anything to hurt you. Guys who would never think of saying something like that to you. Maybe you love who he was, but that person is long gone it seems like. I'd consider yourself lucky not to be with him anymore. 2
th90 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Hey, be strong. After discovering that my ex is in a new relationship yesterday, I feel like every single cell in me died. I couldn't function well again, couldn't eat again, feel like throwing up all the time. I literally held open the door for him to walk out of my life, I let him go to another country to work. I didn't ask him to stay as he has better opportunities there. I didn't even put up a fight or tried to negotiate him to stay with me. Instead I encouraged and fully supported him, for his future. He promised to propose to me in 2 years (when things are settled for us). But what did I get in return? Did he even think for a second what I've sacrificed for him when he decided to **** with a new girl there? I doubt so! But I can't forget either, I can't kill the love I have for him either, I don't even dare to think of dating again because I'm scared now. I don't want to go through all this ever again. But as your thread title says "when you love something you set it free". Haven't you and I? I maintain NC, I didn't interrogate him when he wanted to BU, I didn't say even a single hurtful word to him. We did set them free. We are just fighting this battle in our minds. He only hurt you once, it is the thoughts of him that you allow inside your mind that is hurting you, again and again and again. 3
Author uniqwa Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 I was not perfect neither was he... We had so many ups and downs. through the good and bad we still supported each other. i was extremely loyal. The two years i was with him i only loved him, only slept with him. He was my first everything and i didnt want anything else. I fell hard and he was like gold to me.. He didnt treat me like he should have.. i was given put downs on a daily.. Now i talked to this guy who is a fireman, I flirted with him, my logic was this " he sees a guy treat me right he will have comp and stp his game up". The guy wanted to meet me, he was there when i vented abt everything, He wanted a relationship, I didnt meet him. Now another reasonmy ex may hatecould be bc he thinks i snitched on his bros. now his mother is a bit of a hard ass and sees through bull****. She asked me what they were doing, i didnt have an answer and looked at her like a sheep going to the slaughter.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 "If you love something set it free" I hate that saying... Kinda like "it is what it is" Another one... TFOY
Author uniqwa Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 i couldnt lie to his parents. His step father, i lived with him for 5 months and he treated me like a daughter. I wasnt perfect. i was insecure, i couldnt trust him with women. That was literally the only problem i had with him. i wanted him to myself. he was my man and i felt so afraid.. I caused a lot of problems over that. All the fights. They were literally due to my lack of trust.. now the good, i had so many good times with him i dont dwell on the bad.. He was not a monster.. i loved him so much that I set him free. i found out i was pregnant. now being around nothing but muslim women, i ddnt see any "men", it was his baby. Now i have always been good woman, i dont believe in cheating. I let him do it bc he was young, needed to sew his oats kind of deal, i was very understanding. I had never wanted kids growing up. I didnt believe that being a mother was respectable.. I didnt want to be like my mother.... when i found out i had his mother, sisters and an entire muslim community there for me.. I had wanted that baby bc even if i couldnt have him. i was ging to keep a part of him { genetically speaking} I was going t struggle, but i had done that with him.. He told me " if u have that baby i will hate u so ****ing much, ill hatetht baby too and ill throw 100 your way every month".. { i had been angry sent him a pic and said "guess wos paying child support" i sent one to his gf called her a rat faced ugly bitch { his sister sawher and said that b4 i did} Now Im not a bitch. I was angry and i felt extremely betrayed. His sister had sent him the breakup message " the reason he left" and he didnt accept it was her {even tho she admitted to sending it later on, it seriously did not matter.. Now i didnt tie his ass down with the baby. I am better then that. but i do get my inheritence
amaysngrace Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Duh....you didn't trust him and you were right. You felt insecure because he was out there trying to hook up. But you weren't insecure...you were right. Trust your instinct. Don't let people make you feel like there's something wrong with you when there's really something wrong with them. You are better off being alone than with a loser like him.
Author uniqwa Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 I can honesty say finding out that when Im 25 i get the remander of my inheritence has been the thing that has me feeling like such an ******* lmao. He had been with me for money, but thefnny thing is My Grandmother had made seperate wills gradchildren.. i would have been able to take care of that baby, im joining the navy. I have a family who wouldhave helped. my mother would have loved having a kid around the house. I would have been able to do it all without him. but i loved him that much I set him free and didnt tie his ass down with a kid. i feel strong for not doing that, a lot of women do that ****.. my mistake was saying anything about it. then not leaving him alone when he had said " i feel relieved i dont fight with her" that was his way of saying " look i left you for her, im happy and in love" 1
Waz Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Well, you may think that this thing couldn't get worse, but let me tell you something. You are extremely lucky that you don't have the feeling of doubt. You don't have to squeeze your mind for hours, days, months, being in an abyss of scenarios and thoughts, trying to find an answer that fits in his actions so you can understand the situation better. That's an enormous advantage for you. Don't ignore it. You will understand its value, after some time. All i can say about this, is that: everything that goes up too fast, goes down too fast. I say that for you ex's new relationship, if it happened so soon. 2
Author uniqwa Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 (edited) i did not get the freedom of not thinking about his actions! He had told me he " wanted sex with other women", i let him go to parlors. Have his fun.. He was around his bros and they all did that..I honestly think about every action.. it all replaysand now i give thejustification to everything.. but things I had dissmissed.. him not being able to look at me during sex.. the put downs.. everything adds up now and it has a reason. So many times... He literally did not want me.. He did not love me.. when a guys own mother tells you " you are too kind and good for my son, you deserve better" thats a bright ass red flag.. I didnt even accept it.. she tld me he was just like his father.. I know now she was right. but literaly all the **** that he did..the telling me he loved me.. i have the lies, i get to replay everything over and over and its literally like a movie and now i just put the facts together. i feel like its all a bad dream. I literally feel like this has all been a nightmare and eventually ill wake up.. Ill stop being heart broken.. Ill be able to live again. im still feeling dazed, im not confused. *2months* all my memories are so fresh, they havent faded yet. Edited April 10, 2013 by uniqwa
Author uniqwa Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 i did not get the freedom of thinking about his actions! He had told me he " wanted sex with other women", i let him go to parlors.com Have his fun.. He was around his bros and they all did that..I honestly think about every action.. it all replaysand now i give thejustification to everything.. but things I had dissmissed.. him not being able to look at me during sex.. the put downs.. everything adds up now and it has a reason. So many times... He literally did not want me.. He did not love me.. when a sons own mother tells you " you are too kind and good for my son, you deserve better" thats a bright ass red flag.. I didnt even accept it.. she tld me he was just like his father.. I know now she was right. but literaly all the **** that he did..the telling me he loved me.. i have the lies, i get to replay everything over and over and its literally like a movie and now i just put the facts together. i feel like its all a bad dream. I literally feel like this has all been a nightmare and eventually ill wake up.. Ill stop being heart broken.. Ill be able to live again. im still feeling dazed, im not confused. *2months* all my memories are so fresh, they havent faded yet.
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