MyOne Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Hi, im gino,24, filipino, live in vienna austria europe. ATTENTION WALL OF TEXT Story : I had a crush on this girl where I used to work at, but didnt do anything because at that time, she had a bf. About 3 weeks ago, I found out she was single again for about a month, so I made my move when I was visiting my old workplace. (she was an excollegue, I was working at the company for 4 years, she 1 month) I asked her for her Phone number, she gave it to me. I casually asked if she wants to spend some time with me. She smiled and told me that we could. So first of all yes, shes freshly single, She prolly jst want to have fun, u know, go out do her stuffs what she wants, etc. I know, I told her that I am okay and fine with what ever she does, and that I am laid back about her situation, that she just want to take it easy with everything. I told her that , with me, she doesnt have to think about anything nor worry, with me , just good time together. She liked that. So back to the story, First Date : I picked her up from my old workplace after work, we went to the groceries together and I bought the stuff that I will cook later at the evening for her ( She said yes at the first date at my place/dinner) So I made : Pepper/Cheese/Apple Sticks, Wrapped in Bacon, sauteed it slowly as appetizers for the main dish I made : Grilled Shrimps/Greensalad and garlic bread. For dessert, we had a couple of donuts I bought which were her favs. So everything went well, she really Liked everything, she even fed me the donuts with her hand, which i Found sexy. We had 2 bottles of wine. So, she wanted to go home at about 9 pm, she stayed till 1 am at my place, we were talking a lot, getting to know each other. We connected, she was touching my body while I laid back on my bed etc. I was being a gentleman and didnt do anything only asking her if she likes my body lol. So yeah, nothing happened at the first date. Second Date, Picked her up again, went to my place, cooked again ( imma make this short lol) we ate, went to my room, drank wine, we watched disneys hercules.(she liked that). While we were watching, I was feeding her sugar melons with whip creame, and vice versa, so everything was going well. Then we made out. No sex, just a lot of kissing etc. Ps(at easter sunday, i came to her workplace at the evening and gave her a small brownie ,just to tell her that I like her, then went ahaha, she liked it) so tommorow is my third date with her, she invited me to her place after her uni. My and her plan was to bake a walnut caramel tart at her place. (google that **** out, that dessert is the bomb) SO this is ONE of my problems, first : I asked about 10 ppl, if its fine to give her 1 flower for our third date, or is it too much, or chocolates? Remember, she is still freshly single, but as you can tell she likes me too. I told her im the laid back guy, that i dont go overboard, but the thing is, i am falling for this girl, and I feel like going overboard with the 1 flower thing, what do you guys/girls think? The thing is, I dont want to be friendzoned, which is hardly the case, because we had some sexualthing going on. I am confused also if she is really that into me, like i am into her(and again, freshly single, she is going out with other guys, which I told her, im okay with, because who am I to get jealous right? ) WHAT should I do, for the third date and for the future? I really like this girl.
todreaminblue Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 you can never go wrong with chocolate......a little whimsical one....a bite not a family block....my ex used to do that to fatten me up i feel, just a taste of chocolate...yums....a lindt ball ....that melts in your mouth is a sweet thought......or a bacci kiss....you do what you feel is right ,i only gave suggestions you could maybe use....a single flower si a sweet thought ...dont go for rose go a fresh picked wild flower....something sweet smelling.....no masses of yellow pollen in the middle....there is nothing less romantic than a woman smelling a flower and ending up with yellow all over her nose..it is a laugh inducing moment though....lol....smilin...yes i have had it happen........best wishes...deb
Socratesisapunk Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 First of all, you sound like an amazing guy and she would have to be crazy to not be into you. Second, I would bring chocolates and not the flower. Some girls like flowers, some do not; the ones who do not will smile and accept it, but will be like, why is this guy bringing me something that is useless or will end up dying? Not all girls hate flowers, but most girls love chocolate. Also, because it seems that she is into food, I think she would appreciate the chocolate and it could become something sensual. It sounds to me like she is totally into you and your next date might be heading toward sex, so be prepared. You give me hope that there are men out there who know what they want and who do not have trouble being romantic and caring. Good luck to you.
Author MyOne Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 First of all, you sound like an amazing guy and she would have to be crazy to not be into you. Second, I would bring chocolates and not the flower. Some girls like flowers, some do not; the ones who do not will smile and accept it, but will be like, why is this guy bringing me something that is useless or will end up dying? Not all girls hate flowers, but most girls love chocolate. Also, because it seems that she is into food, I think she would appreciate the chocolate and it could become something sensual. It sounds to me like she is totally into you and your next date might be heading toward sex, so be prepared. You give me hope that there are men out there who know what they want and who do not have trouble being romantic and caring. Good luck to you. thank you! 3rd date is today.
Author MyOne Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 First of all, you sound like an amazing guy and she would have to be crazy to not be into you. Second, I would bring chocolates and not the flower. Some girls like flowers, some do not; the ones who do not will smile and accept it, but will be like, why is this guy bringing me something that is useless or will end up dying? Not all girls hate flowers, but most girls love chocolate. Also, because it seems that she is into food, I think she would appreciate the chocolate and it could become something sensual. It sounds to me like she is totally into you and your next date might be heading toward sex, so be prepared. You give me hope that there are men out there who know what they want and who do not have trouble being romantic and caring. Good luck to you. So I took your advice and went to viennas finest chocolate shop i bought her this http://i.imgur.com/rg1DHTN.jpg hope she likes it. cost 15 euro, which is fine i think. Lets see, Im jst waiting till she text me when to meet up today.
veggirl Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I wouldn't bring a gift on a 3rd date. I wouldn't date a girl freshly out of a relationship, are you okay with being her rebound? 1
TouchedByViolet Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 You need to slow down on the presents. You cooking for her and stopping by her work are plenty only being 2 dates in. If things are going good what she probably wants by the 3rd date is sex. You should go to her place and make her bed rock. Leave the chocolates for a later occasion.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 You need to slow down on the presents. You cooking for her and stopping by her work are plenty only being 2 dates in. If things are going good what she probably wants by the 3rd date is sex. You should go to her place and make her bed rock. Leave the chocolates for a later occasion. I agree with this. If you want to give her a "gift", go down on her 1
Author MyOne Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 You need to slow down on the presents. You cooking for her and stopping by her work are plenty only being 2 dates in. If things are going good what she probably wants by the 3rd date is sex. You should go to her place and make her bed rock. Leave the chocolates for a later occasion. but but, i bought the chocolates already I just thought it would be kinda sexy feeding each others with pralines while making out lol.
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 So I took your advice and went to viennas finest chocolate shop i bought her this http://i.imgur.com/rg1DHTN.jpg hope she likes it. cost 15 euro, which is fine i think. Lets see, Im jst waiting till she text me when to meet up today. Ah. Chocolate in Wien... my ex and I, our favorite was Fabienne in the Innere Stadt. Puts to shame anything I've ever had in the US. Why did you have to remind me!!!
Sivok Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Just be careful, She seems into you so far, but you seem WAY too into her. I think the romantic gestures are sweet, but I feel you're setting her up for expectations that are going to be hard to consistently meet - the meals, the gifts, the chocolates. Unless you plan on doing this every time you meet her, I'd back down a bit. Gifts and special treatment are best when least expected, but this is now becoming (or on its way to becoming) an everyday expectation for you on her end. If that is your plan, then by all means continue. Just be aware of what you're doing 3
thefooloftheyear Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I agree with this. If you want to give her a "gift", go down on her or a pearl necklace....
Author MyOne Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 Just be careful, She seems into you so far, but you seem WAY too into her. I think the romantic gestures are sweet, but I feel you're setting her up for expectations that are going to be hard to consistently meet - the meals, the gifts, the chocolates. Unless you plan on doing this every time you meet her, I'd back down a bit. Gifts and special treatment are best when least expected, but this is now becoming (or on its way to becoming) an everyday expectation for you on her end. If that is your plan, then by all means continue. Just be aware of what you're doing thank you for your insight. I do this on my past relationship which was 6 years long ( i was 18) I used to celebrate the day i got together with my ex monthly. for 6 years. So yeah Im a hopeless romantix. Gtg now, need to pick her up!
PogoStick Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I agree with this. If you want to give her a "gift", go down on her <3 Would have sounded like a joke from a man but just right from a woman.
PogoStick Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 but but, i bought the chocolates already I just thought it would be kinda sexy feeding each others with pralines while making out lol. Forget her and eat the chocolates yourself! She never has to know. Hey you can feed her 1 but don't over do it. FYI a Cadburry Egg lead to first time sex with my now ex-wife.
Author MyOne Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Okay sad update: So what happened that evening : Picked her up, she told me that she wants to cook for me too, because I was cooking for her all the time, so we went to the groceries near her place, bought food and also the ingredients for the walnut cake that I want to bake for her. We had a good time at her place, a couple of her friends were there,her mom and sis. I was kinda nervous because of meeting so many people from her side, but I played it cool and actually enjoyed their company, it was so nice. We had a nice dinner, ate the cake, when the ppl left, we were alone at the dining table sitting next to each other. SHE took my hand, squeezed it, laid her head on my shoulders and thanked me for the nice evening. I thanked her also for inviting me to her place, and letting me meet people from her life. We kissed, went back to her room, drank some wine and then were making out. All was good, I was happy. Suddenly while making out, she stopped and said : Gino , I think you should go. I was like : Err, okay. Would you like to tell me what is wrong? Did i do anything wrong? "No, I just want to be honest with you, you arent the first guy on this bed lately" she said. Well, I told her that I knew that she was meeting other guys, I mean she is single, thats her life. But knowing it, and hearing it comming out of her mouth was two different things, and It really hurted me. She told me that she still wants to do this, meet, have a good time together, and she didnt want it to stop. Thing is, I really like her, I got hurt though really bad, and I dont know if I just want to be just another guy while she meets with other men. I thought after the third date, you kind of know if you are still interessted with the guy/girl you are dating or not. I think about her all the time, when we look at each other for a couple of seconds, I knew it's not just not about making out but something more. But is it worth it? That is the thing I keep thinking about since tuesday. Is it worth it, knowing she is still meeting other guys besides me. Is it worth it, hoping that she picks me at the end , but actually she doesnt? I know im not a bad looking guy, Im nice, a gentleman, I take care of stuff. So it also hurts my ego/pride just to be there if she needs me. I mean, if I just want any girl, I would go get one, but no, I am concentrating on her, because she makes me feel wonderful. What do you people think? I thought, I would just lay low, give her some space.(its thursday now, while im writing this, last I saw her was tuesday, its my dayoff today) Should I wait till she contacts me? Should I call her or wait till she does the first move, maybe she realize then what she loses?) I always thought that, if you want something, you fight for it, but now/lately, I just dont want to just offer myself on a golden plate, just for her to take if she wants. Need help. thanks.
Sivok Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Okay sad update: Suddenly while making out, she stopped and said : Gino , I think you should go. I was like : Err, okay. Would you like to tell me what is wrong? Did i do anything wrong? "No, I just want to be honest with you, you arent the first guy on this bed lately" she said. Well, I told her that I knew that she was meeting other guys, I mean she is single, thats her life. But knowing it, and hearing it comming out of her mouth was two different things, and It really hurted me. She told me that she still wants to do this, meet, have a good time together, and she didnt want it to stop. Hrm, this is a tough one to read into - she sounds like she put up last minute resistance with the line 'you aren't the first guy on this bed lately'. She did this for 2 reasons: 1) she didn't want to feel like a slut (she's already sleeping with atleast one other guy) 2) she knew you were into her and didn't want to hurt you. It sounds to me like if you slept with her, it would've been more emotional to you than just physical fun. Thing is, I really like her, I got hurt though really bad, and I dont know if I just want to be just another guy while she meets with other men. ... I just dont want to just offer myself on a golden plate, just for her to take if she wants. That's a healthy boundary - I'm glad you stated this. Overall, this is a bit of what I was afraid of. You came on really strong and she knew it. Now you know her focus isn't all on you - and at that moment where she declined you in her bed, she either friend-zoned you (decided to keep sleeping with that other man and just seeing you for cooking dinner together as buddies) OR she decided to think about breaking it off with the other guy and getting back in touch with you. Either way, the ball is in her court at this point. Take some time off from contacting her - we can come back to it after a couple days (leave it until post-weekend) if she doesn't respond.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 I'm just going to state the obvious here...You got a third date...She's into you. If she wasn't into you, chance's are you most likely would never have heard from her after the first date.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 Agreed. Instead of dating by committee, which is about as effective as the Politburo was at stocking grocery store shelves, please learn to trust your instincts and to read the cues she gives you. It's her opinions and reactions that count, not those of random (mostly male) posters on the internet.
filani Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 @ Myone I agree with Sivok, you came on TOO STRONG !!! That's the problem with 'helpless romantics' they think with their hearts instead of with their heads. This girl was just one month out of her last relationship, it was only logical that you would be the rebound guy *sigh* Oh well, live and learn. Good for you that you refused to offer up yourself on a golden platter to be her 'cook buddy', emotional crutch. Better for your self respect that way.
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