all_cats_rgray Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) Whenever, I talk to dumpers the things they say make my skin crawl. It normally is the same. I just talked to a girlfriend that dumped her 2 year relationship, and she has a new guy lined up already. I talked to a girl that left her 3 year relationship. And as she got text's from him she would giggle and laugh like she had him wrapped around her fingers. (she didn't seem to care at all) I guess I just wanted to point out. The dumper is on the other spectrum of what you feel. When your crying in your room thinking about how much you miss them. They are having sex with a new person thinking, why didn't I do this sooner. When you are thinking about them, they have forgotten you. Yes I will get backlash from dumper's saying: This is not true, it was hard. I find this a half truth. Yes it may have been hard. But you are fine now. Everything is squared away, and you sleep great. But the dumpee is coming to terms with unrequited love. And that is ten-folds tougher. So dumpee, when your lying in bed crying, remember your ex is fast asleep. Edited April 8, 2013 by all_cats_rgray 5
travelonic Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 So dumpee, when your lying in bed crying, remember your ex is fast asleep. Not never, not always. Ugh, I feel like a broken record... gotta give my impulsiveness to reply to what I see as gross generations a kick in the pants.
Author all_cats_rgray Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Not never, not always. Ugh, I feel like a broken record... gotta give my impulsiveness to reply to what I see as gross generations a kick in the pants. lol, I know it's a generation. Ever situation is different. Your special, your the one person that's ex is regretting breaking up with you. Cause if my ex, is unhappy, mopping, or regretting their decision.... would they not connect us. But they haven't connected us... so thus they must me happy? How is this logic flawed? As a kick in the pants. I didn't look at it this way. I look at it as motivation, to reclaim your happiness.
GB25 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Ok. Thanks? Yeah seriosuly, thanks for the words of encouragment OP you brightened up my day...gonna go throw up now
SharkTooth Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I don't know, but it's been 6 or 7 weeks NC and I sleep pretty well myself. Her lose, my gain to continue the search to find the almost perfect woman. And of course have a little fun along the way. That's what I was doing when I met her anyway. A major set back in the beginning of the BU but pretty minor now. Got to live life like it's the only one you got. 1
Am4Real Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Oh B.S!! And if you want to compare it statistically, what you describe is not a half-truth; but it can be half-right or half-wrong - your choice! Whenever, I talk to dumpers the things they say make my skin crawl. It normally is the same. I just talked to a girlfriend that dumped her 2 year relationship, and she has a new guy lined up already. I talked to a girl that left her 3 year relationship. And as she got text's from him she would giggle and laugh like she had him wrapped around her fingers. (she didn't seem to care at all) I guess I just wanted to point out. The dumper is on the other spectrum of what you feel. When your crying in your room thinking about how much you miss them. They are having sex with a new person thinking, why didn't I do this sooner. When you are thinking about them, they have forgotten you. Yes I will get backlash from dumper's saying: This is not true, it was hard. I find this a half truth. Yes it may have been hard. But you are fine now. Everything is squared away, and you sleep great. But the dumpee is coming to terms with unrequited love. And that is ten-folds tougher. So dumpee, when your lying in bed crying, remember your ex is fast asleep.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Whenever, I talk to dumpers the things they say make my skin crawl. It normally is the same. I just talked to a girlfriend that dumped her 2 year relationship, and she has a new guy lined up already. I talked to a girl that left her 3 year relationship. And as she got text's from him she would giggle and laugh like she had him wrapped around her fingers. (she didn't seem to care at all) I guess I just wanted to point out. The dumper is on the other spectrum of what you feel. When your crying in your room thinking about how much you miss them. They are having sex with a new person thinking, why didn't I do this sooner. When you are thinking about them, they have forgotten you. Yes I will get backlash from dumper's saying: This is not true, it was hard. I find this a half truth. Yes it may have been hard. But you are fine now. Everything is squared away, and you sleep great. But the dumpee is coming to terms with unrequited love. And that is ten-folds tougher. So dumpee, when your lying in bed crying, remember your ex is fast asleep. That is one giant sweeping generalization there. Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay!
Author all_cats_rgray Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 That is one giant sweeping generalization there. Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay! I don't understand how this is bitter. It just seems like the reality. If your ex was unhappy, they would contact you. ? ...
ThatJustHappened Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I don't understand how this is bitter. It just seems like the reality. If your ex was unhappy, they would contact you. ? ... There are so many emotions on the spectrum between happy and sad. It's not all black and white..people feel many different things..dumpers and dumpees. Just because someone is unhappy doesn't mean they didn't make the right decision. You can love someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them. What you're suggesting is that anyone who's ever dumped someone is coldhearted and cruel, and that's just wrong.
Author all_cats_rgray Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 There are so many emotions on the spectrum between happy and sad. It's not all black and white..people feel many different things..dumpers and dumpees. Just because someone is unhappy doesn't mean they didn't make the right decision. You can love someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them. What you're suggesting is that anyone who's ever dumped someone is coldhearted and cruel, and that's just wrong. Well when I love someone I can't imagine my life without them. .. So im going with the assumption they don't love us.
CptSaveAho Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Well when I love someone I can't imagine my life without them. .. So im going with the assumption they don't love us. what if they die, does that mean you are going to give up your life? does that mean they dont love you because they didnt stay alive for you? you can love someone and know that a healthy relationship will never work with them no matter what you do to try and fix all the problems, so why either put yourself in that position or continue to stay in that position?
Kaiten Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Yes every situation is different. But OP makes some great points. After my ex gf left me I know i was torn up. I also thought that she cared because she would still say she loved me and missed me. But that's probably not true considering she has made no attempt to contact me in the past 3 weeks. I was thinking about her all the time. Of how i could be a better boyfriend if we would only reconcile. Meanwhile she is talking to other guys, and living life wondering why she was ever with me. Im a great looking guy whos smart and funny. Ive wasted a considerable amount of time thinking about this girl who had me, and found herself lacking. But i believe i am worth more than what she says im worth. So im living my life right again
SalientPoint Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I think OP's post has a ring of truth to it. Not to say there aren't decent people out there that don't feel genuinely bad, just that I think in a majority of cases if someone is really breaking up with you and is of reasonably sound mind and body, they're either doing it because they don't care enough to work on it or YOU are just a horrible person, but that's a different can of worms. I think the point is that you're not doing yourself any favors thinking that they are sitting around pining after you. When I really put my mind to it I've always been pretty good at NC because I know for a fact my ex's were never upset about dumping me, so it always made it easier. However, that being said I am also a very loyal committed person, so if someone is dumping me I know they don't feel bad because I've done everything to make it work. Like anything else it depends on context, but for the most part the dumper has a jump on the dumpee, and that's always an advantage.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Well when I love someone I can't imagine my life without them. .. So im going with the assumption they don't love us. That is SUPER unhealthy. Seek therapy.
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