Did He Cheat

[marie.t]

Hi, I would really appreciate some help or advice. For the last 6 years my partner told me he did not talk to a certain female co-worker, that he did not like her.

We were invited to a work related function last month and my partner said it would be better if we did not go as 2 of his male co-workers did not like him any more and were making his life difficult. This was the first i heard of this.

He eventually had to admit he was very friendly with the female co-worker(who he was not supposed to like) and they got on like a house on fire. He had gossiped about fellow workers to her. He said a few months ago he had started to distance himself from this female and she went and told all his co-workers what he had said about them. ( my partner and his coworkers all all in their 40's).

Firstly i was shocked that he had lied about talking to her for many years( his excuse was that because she had abandoned her children in another county and my mother had done similiar to me that i would not have approved of this friendship. Which is probably right). That does not make it ok for me though. I was also shocked that he had gossiped about others in work.

I asked him had anything else happened with this woman and hes has denied that there was nothing more than friendship between them. He said he had began to feel she was dangerous and thats why he started to distance himself and ignore her, he said she had been asking a lot of questions about a man in work whose wife was dying and was very wealthy and she wanted to know did he have kids and big house etc..( he said he found this very disrespectful) and was major factor in him no longer liking her.

I have being trying to wrack my brain to look back and see can i get clues, i do remember about 6 months ago he had mouthwash in the car door which i though was strange and he was paying more attention to his appearance.

I am nearly going insane trying to figure out did something happen between them and thats why he started to avoid her and then in turn she back-stabbed him. He keeps denying this, but my gut does not believe him. He said he never had contact with her outside of work or never had fone contact ( which i find strange if they were so friendly)

He is now in therapy as he almost had a breakdown when it all came out and said he had been isolated in work for over 3 moths and had tried to deal with it himself.

Please I would welcome any opinions on all this, i am so confused and hurting right now.

[ThatJustHappened]

The lying about talking to her, the mouthwash in the car, the sudden backstabbing, and the paying more attention to his appearance stand out as red flags to me. If your gut is telling you that he's cheating (or that he was cheating), you're probably correct.