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How do I ask my bud to back off?


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Posted

So my friend is getting divorced (not yet though) so he's been basically hitting on every girl whom he meets and invites them to hang out with our social group. One of these girls is a subordinate at his job. Basically he works at a small law firm/call center dealio where's he's in charge like 95% of the time.

 

Anyways, this chick is super cool and I sort of like her and I think she is indicating some IOIs to me although I'm not 100% sure. Anyways, out of respect for my bro, I have abstained from making any moves. But I was wondering what the risks are if I were to ask him to back off with promises that I'll introduce/wing for him to several other girls I know.

Posted

If hes really a bro, just tell him. Thats what I do with my best buddy (who can be a man whore when he's not dating exclusively). Because of my job, I get in touch with a lot great looking women which I invite whenever we go out. As soon as he meets them he always ramps up the charm. Now if it was someone I had even the slightest interest in, I'd just let him know to ease up and he wings for me.

 

So yeah just tell him you got your eyes on this girl. Now if he was really interested in the girl (not as a rebound after the divorce), you can settle it before too much drama has happened.

Posted

He's still married, so to me that woman is fair game. I would probably mention it to him before you start trying to get her number or something though.

 

Also, what is IOI?

Posted
So my friend is getting divorced (not yet though) so he's been basically hitting on every girl whom he meets and invites them to hang out with our social group. One of these girls is a subordinate at his job. Basically he works at a small law firm/call center dealio where's he's in charge like 95% of the time.

 

Anyways, this chick is super cool and I sort of like her and I think she is indicating some IOIs to me although I'm not 100% sure. Anyways, out of respect for my bro, I have abstained from making any moves. But I was wondering what the risks are if I were to ask him to back off with promises that I'll introduce/wing for him to several other girls I know.

 

Hmmm... divorced dudes tend to be total poonhounds and the ones I know have been out of the game for so long they tend to be lacking on the social skills. You probably need to check him a little bit and tell him to slow it down a little bit. I was out with a guy last summer and he was way too aggressive and scaring off the girls we tried to talk to. He was one of the guys that got married young and didn't have the single experience like I did. I had to tell him to dial it back a notch.

Posted
So my friend is getting divorced (not yet though) so he's been basically hitting on every girl whom he meets and invites them to hang out with our social group. One of these girls is a subordinate at his job. Basically he works at a small law firm/call center dealio where's he's in charge like 95% of the time.

 

Anyways, this chick is super cool and I sort of like her and I think she is indicating some IOIs to me although I'm not 100% sure. Anyways, out of respect for my bro, I have abstained from making any moves. But I was wondering what the risks are if I were to ask him to back off with promises that I'll introduce/wing for him to several other girls I know.

 

No offense man but don't try to wrap it up like you are concerned for your friend.

What he wants to do to blow off steam is his business and if you were really concerned about his behaviour then deal with that in isolation.

 

If you like this girl and wanted to go after her then it's your choice but it sounds like he is the one who knows her, brought her to the group and has an interest in her so it's gonna be REALLY poor form of you to step in there.

 

But as I said, the issue is you like this girl but he's already in there. Don't try to dress it up like you are helping him due to his situation. A real mate in this case would help him, not cock block him.

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Posted

I'm not a bro, so i'm not sure on the code, but...

Can't you just tell him you're interested in her? Shouldn't that make him back off anyway, because whoever puts it out there first gets the shot?

Posted

Call dibs.

 

Bro code.

  • Like 2
Posted

LMAO, all this quasi-feminism around LS, and yet... it's not really up to her?

Posted
LMAO, all this quasi-feminism around LS, and yet... it's not really up to her?

 

What are you talking about?

Posted
What are you talking about?

 

Just find it a little funny that we're essentially having a conversation about who gets "rights" go after a particular female, when her interests are clearly the last thing on anyone's mind. And women are chiming in with support for this?

Posted
LMAO, all this quasi-feminism around LS, and yet... it's not really up to her?

 

It's up to her who she is attracted to. It's up to them who goes after her.

Posted
Just find it a little funny that we're essentially having a conversation about who gets "rights" go after a particular female, when her interests are clearly the last thing on anyone's mind. And women are chiming in with support for this?

 

All I said was that she was single and so were you, but to preserve your friendship you should mention to your friend your intentions. Obviously the choice would then be up to her. How is that not considering her wants?

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