Ed the 3rd Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I just want a good looking (no I'm not picky the only inherent nono is being massive) girlfriend is that so hard? I'm a little chubby but that's it really, plenty of people say I'm good looking So why is it so hard to even attempt getting a girlfriend?! I don't even care about my social anxiety at this point I am willing to try anything but it seems like my only 2 options are going to a club by myself or pulling some poor person off the street. Going to a club by yourself seems like social suicide so with that making me a nervous wreak (not a good look for a bloke like me) and stuff like the music making it impossible to talk just seems like too much. The only thing in my favor is the Drink which helps me interact with people. And pulling a girl a like off the street and begging for her company seems to be my only other option and I'd need some high class drugs to be able to do that without falling apart. Seriously guys/girls any advice here? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) People generally do not want to feel like commodities, so that might be part of your issue. More likely you are approaching this the wrong way. If all you are looking for in a woman is "good-looking" you do not need nor want a girlfriend. You can spend time with a girl in a club, you can meet someone at work, you can get escort, there are a lot of things you can do to enjoy female company without having to have a girlfriend. If you get into a relationship with a girl at this point you're going to end up messing it up. You are insecure and don't know what you want. Go out. Have fun. Gain some confidence. When you are ready to add a few more bullet points to that little list of yours come back and ask again. -And I mean the escort thing quite seriously. Between you and a prostitute there is the knowledge that things are only physical. With a girlfriend there is the assumption of a deeper emotional connection. If you are trying to satisfy sexual urges with a girlfriend when you have none of the emotional ones you are setting yourself up for a confusing future and putting some poor girl in the path of heartache. Edited April 8, 2013 by WhoreyBull
Kaiten Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Well geez WhoreyBull. With all that wisdom you might be able to help me out with mine! I know exactly what i want from a girl, as well as what i dont want.
Kaiten Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I can tell you this OP Good looks arent going to take a relationship anywhere. This is one of the most superficial posts ive seen in a minute. Surely you want more in a girl than this?
Author Ed the 3rd Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) I take great offense to that. Not only did you accuse me of only wanting good looks you also accuse me of being shallow and insecure? Why is it males (Females never get flak for it) in today's society are accused of being shallow for wanting to actually be attracted to females? Sorry if this destroys anyones delusions but I'm not starting a relationship with someone if I don't find them attractive, they can stay my friends and I wouldn't expect ANYTHING less from any girl. I simply felt like putting the "good looking" thing because I have had several chances at getting into relationships with very big woman. Not my cup of tea and never will be. I didn't put that because that's all I see in a relationship; I see infinitely more then that. Not only that but have you tried talking to someone you found attractive? Well imagine that but x20 worse and that's what I have to deal with. Now that's out of way can people please actually give me advice instead of insulting me? I just moved here and like I said I don't have a clue where to meet people in general not just girls. Any advice that isn't on the same level of "Join a knitting circle" is appreciated. Edited April 8, 2013 by Ed the 3rd
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) Hello again. Let me first say, I am an escort, that is my job. That's why I'm so WhoreyBull (horrible? get it?) The men I see are neither shallow nor desperate. In fact I believe more young men should use our services for the reasons mentioned above. I am sorry if you feel accused, but you did say, and I quote: "I just want a good looking (no I'm not picky the only inherent nono is being massive) girlfriend is that so hard? " There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your partner, but you come in saying you JUST want someone attractive and you can only think of finding them in bars or on the street... You don't mention any personality traits you seek, interests, life goals. You put absolutely nothing else. When you said "on the street" I thought you meant a prostitute anyways. You did say you'd "need some high class drugs to be able to do that without falling apart"... That does seem a bit insecure now doesn't it? And she JUST has to be good looking. I think your real problem may be the way you go about talking about other human beings... Edited April 9, 2013 by WhoreyBull
Author Ed the 3rd Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 Sorry sarcasm does not translate very well on the webs. When I said "just" I meant that it should not be as unapproachable a goal as it appears to be. My problem is not rejection but being unable to get up and try. The only social scene I can get to without my social anxiety (a disorder that makes life harder then need be) screwing me over is a club/bar/pub and that's purely because of the intervention of alcohol. Since I moved I have no idea where to meet anyone. Going to a club is not the best option without a friend and literally the only other place I can think of saying "hello" and trying to form a connection with somebody is on the street which again would not be a good option with my social anxiety (the comment on drugs was a joke regarding how hard I would need to be drugged to not fall apart attempting this). But if nothing else clears your doubts I don't want an escort purely because it is just sex. Dating websites aren't working out and the only other places I leave the house for is the Gym (people aren't to interested in talking there) or my part time job. I just want help defeating this issue. Admittedly I shouldn't of said "good looking" or mention fat girls but if nothing else I was speaking my mind.
WhoreyBull Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Well, no one can really help you here since what you lack is confidence, coupled with the anxiety. I also have a generalized anxiety disorder so I can really understand how if effects your life. Even though I am not socially anxious my anxiety prevents me from being able to put myself in social situations. I am still struggling with how to deal with anxiety and our disorders are different, so I can't offer much advice other than first and foremost you'll have to get your anxiety manageable. Have you looked into medication for managing your anxiety or counseling? It might sound a bit silly but even within an anxiety support group could be a dating partner, hehe.
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