uniqwa Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) Does the perception of " first love" ever go away? I have literally tried so many things.. My ex is with the devil, literally mommy dearest incarnate, She's like a demon spawn troll who is fake as ****. That doesn't even help..I do get a slight satisfaction with how unstable she seems.. but that comes and goes, I often think he likes instability, She's extremely compulsive and idealistic.. Even though I had not contacted my ex.. She made it a daily routine to harass me and make fake fb accounts simply because she is mentally insane.. ONE even had a gun and said " should I shoot or not?" Now her maturity level along with sanity IS WAYYYYY off, but Given the current circumstances her inability to be normal is something that may be what he finds attractive. now she knew about how I felt because I had messaged him and I was heartbroken... The thing I cant understand is he literally hacked my computer and she harasses me mocking all the things I told him.. All my heartache.. She even made facebooks of him.. She said in some of the accounts " HE never loved you, He was in love with me the entire time, It was just a lie. Men lie. My daddy raised me right, I know how to have a man treat me" Two years and I didn't stop loving him.. The girl is extremely crazy like the type from MISERY, she just seems to pop up out of nowhere, She went as far as to make fake accounts and add my family members.. He was in love with the person whom his currently with, that doesn't help either.. I'm trying to let the hurt go, It's been two months but nothing helps... I want to let go of all the pain, but its almost as though my heart literally has a mind of it's own, The logical aspect of the entire situation does not come into play, Instead I see the reality, but emotionally My heart, the pain I feel is not conflicted with anger and I should be angry. I should hate him, but I can't bring myself to hate him.. ANY advice? I am in need of tons.. I need something to continuously dwell on.. Edited April 8, 2013 by uniqwa
richard9 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 If she is really that crazy I dont think you should hate him, I think you should pity him. Sounds like you should really focus on his negatives to get through the initial hurt, and start to focus on yourself. Go nc and leave them to it, theyre not your problem anymore.
TearyEyedPride Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Ugh. I can almost feel how much you're suffering just by reading this post. I'm really sorry you haven't found a sense of relief from this insistent nagging of heartbreak and this psycho b*tch. Honestly, I don't think people ever forget their "firsts". Whether it be loves, heartbreaks, intimate encounters, cars, etc... I think what makes them so special is the fact that it's a person's first encounter with it, making it a totally new experience and broadening your horizon. Memories are best made with extreme emotion, fear, love, excitement, pain etc etc. So unfortunately you probably will never forget this, but the wonderful part is lots of people survive their firsts. Millions of people have survived heartbreak and lived to have successful lives! Even though the disease was quite painful, they made it. Welcome to the survivors club! It takes time... but you'll get there. Feel your feelings, let them go, forgive and make room for newer things, newer experiences, more life left to live. Good luck.
Author uniqwa Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) Thank you. I just literally don't know how to let go? physically he is not there.. He is not a part of my life and I don't see him, we don't talk.. I just feel as though I blinked and everything was taken away from me. It's like being caught in an ocean, the waves crash all around you and you can't get any air, that is how I feel.. My heart it's broken.. I feel forgotten and as though I wasn't important, Now the thing that literally gets me.. He said he was only with me to begin with because "he felt sorry for me". That is literally something that repeats and when I try to go to sleep, I think of all my happy memories, all the jokes, all the hugs, kisses, cuddles, times I cried and he was there for me, birthdays, going out to lunch just for the hell of it. I think of all those times and I literally was so in love with him, I gave up a lot of things. He was the center of my universe and i did not have any problems with that, sometimes I missed my family, but they had hurt me. To find that I was just someone he felt pity for hurts far worse, he was not genuine.. It was just a one sided thing.. Edited April 8, 2013 by uniqwa
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