candu9 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Hey gang, So I few months ago I met this girl and we really hit it off. But I already have a girlfriend and I've been in a long distance relationship with her for several years now. Anyways, the new girl and I met and we had so much in common. But I never made a move because I'm already in a relationship. After a month or two, she invites me to come to a party with her, I go, we start dancing, it's really good. The next day she calls me up in the morning and invites me out, we spend the day together. Again, everything is going well. One of the things I find really interesting is that she speaks mandarin and I'm planning on spending a few weeks in China this year. I ask her to teach me mandarin. So, we get together and she teaches me some mandarin, after a couple more times I invite her over to my place to talk, and she asks if she can spend the night. OK, I say. That night she goes to sleep on the couch, and in the middle of the night she comes over to my room and starts saying "Please have sex with me, please have sex with me." I tell her no, I'm in a relationship, I don't want to have to have sex with you unless I'm in a relationship. A few days later, she calls me up late at night and tells me she's coming over. She gets to my place and tells me she's spending the night again, same thing happens that, "Please have sex with me, please have sex with me." I tell her the same thing, I want to be in a relationship with you if we're going to have sex. She laughs, you want to be in a relationship with me? I've having too much fun being single. Two days after this she calls me crying and says that her friends left her and she has no way home. She asks if I can pick her up, and when I do she wants to come to my place, oh man, ok, so she's back at my place that night. Then, I'm over at my friends place a few days later and she shows up, this time she brings a new boyfriend with her. Really awkward, I want to talk to her, but it's not really possible. This keeps happening, we have friends in common and I keep seeing her socially, she's always friendly with me when I see her, but I want to talk to her about what's been happening and now when I call her she won't answer, and when I text her she sends me nasty responses. Anyways, I never wanted to be intimate with this girl, I just wanted to develop a friendship with her and learn some mandarin from her. But now when I call her she won't answer my calls. It's obvious this girl is a player. But, I have enjoyed being with her and I really want to learn more mandarin. Sometimes I do think that I would like to have a relationship with her because this long distance thing has been going on for too long. But, wow, this girl is really complicated. I'm really not sure what to do. I feel terrible with the way everything turned out. At this point I just want to talk to her and try to find some common ground, but I have no idea what she's feeling or thinking because she just stopped talking to me. I want to talk, and it's driving me crazy because I don't feel like I did anything wrong, but something is wrong and I want to fix it.
clia Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 She's not a player; she was interested in you. You led her on (oh yes, you did!) and then rejected her. She has now moved on and doesn't want to talk to you anymore. It's really not complicated at all. So, you can't "do" anything -- except try harder to be loyal to your girlfriend. (I assume you told her about the sleepovers and all the time you were spending with your new "friend"?) 1
noble Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Rosetta stone, use that. stop using wanting to learn mandarin as an excuse to get with this girl. also, if you dont want to sleep with her and are already in a relationship why are you letting her come over in the middle of the night, and sleep at your place 3 nights? it sorta seems like you're sending her mixed signals. also, does your gf know you had another girl sleeping over? maybe you should tell her. i would certainly want to know.
Divasu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 When I read threads like these, it makes me question mankind. Oy vey.
veggirl Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Um wow, I take it your are not that into your gf since you seem EXTREMELY into this other chick so why don't you start by dumping your girlfriend? And seriously dude take a freaking class to learn a new language. You are just butthurt this girl isn't chasing you anymore, let it go. Geesh. Does your gf know you were "learning mandarin" from a girl you let sleep over? 1
SmileFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 No you are challenging your fidelity by trying to keep this girl around:rolleyes:
KatZee Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 How is this girl a player? She was clearly interested in you, wanted to hook up and you told her no that you wanted to be in a relationship with her first. How were you exactly planning on pulling that one off seeing as you already HAVE a girlfriend? Were you planning on having two relationships? In that case the only player here is YOU!
Author candu9 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 No way, I didn't mean to lead her on. I guess that's what happened. I just found someone who was I was really interested in, and wanted to know more about her. I thought that if I was told her about me and was honest that this wouldn't happen, and that it would be possible for me to make friends with someone from the opposite sex. Anyways, thanks for your help and advice that's helped me to understand. I really appreciate it.
MidwestUSA Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Anyone out there want to teach me Mandarin tonight?
FitChick Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 When are you planning to move to be with your girlfriend? When is she planning to move to be with you?
veggirl Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 No way, I didn't mean to lead her on. I guess that's what happened. I just found someone who was I was really interested in, and wanted to know more about her. I thought that if I was told her about me and was honest that this wouldn't happen, and that it would be possible for me to make friends with someone from the opposite sex. Anyways, thanks for your help and advice that's helped me to understand. I really appreciate it. Okay....well life lesson....you can't be friends with the opposite sex when a) that person blatantly tells you "I want to have sex with you" and b) you are intrigued/interested.
ChessPieceFace Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 It's obvious this girl is a player. But, I have enjoyed being with her and I really want to learn more mandarin. How about trying ROSETTA STONE. Or hey, keep playing with fire, what do I care.
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