s on my current cross roads...

[Nasher]

Good Afternoon,

 

I'll try and keep this short! I just want some opinions on my current predicament...

 

- Girlfriend breaks it off at Christmas because we weren't working and she moved to another country to work...

- I am heart broken and side swiped, though it was in part but I have realised I have co-dependancy issues and haven't had single time in over ten years so not used to being alone which contributed to my melancholy.

- Go no contact a month later.

- She gets in touch two months later from no contact for some arbitrary reason. I tell her I can't be friends with her right now and wish her the best.

- Week later she contacts me saying she misses me and regrets how she ran away from everything. She wants to meet up the next time she is visiting.

- We end up communicating before meet up and clear a lot of air.

- See her, she apologises for how she ran away from everything, especially me. Says she has realised what she has lost and misses me and wants me in her life.

- I cautiously tell her I love her too and we start a long distance relationship.

- We talk every day for three weeks, I see her this weekend.

- I find out she saw someone for 3-4 weeks before she contacted me, but she didn't want to tell me as she thought I wouldn't want anything to do with her. She told me she just couldn't stop thinking of me and that's what triggered the initial contact.

 

So yes, I feel kind of gutted as she didn't tell me this when she laid her cards on the table. Obviously it's not as black and white as I have written it. We both took each other for granted before and I understood to degree why it ended, but I took it pretty badly.

 

I just don't know what to do now while I am at these crossroads. I want to believe her, the tears, the apologies. Technically we were apart. This person was a rebound for her.

 

But I feel like I was cheated on I guess. I was getting stronger and she came back into my life.

 

My dilemma is can I accept what happened and give her a chance. I love her but I am strong enough to say goodbye if I can't move forward with my emotions. I am not sure how I feel right now, except the fact I love her and she seemed to mean it when she said she made a mistake.

 

She is more detached from intimacy than I am, and right now in this shock period all I can think of is her with someone else