ZealousJJ Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I am so desperately in love with this guy. Head over heels, over the moon in love. I ache everytime I don't hear from him. We met over the internet and I've never been able to meet him. Due to circumstances I think whatever we had now is over. I am utterly heartbroken. I feel like I can't breathe knowing I'll never talk to him again. I can't sleep, can't think, can't concentrate. All I feel is this enormous void in my heart. How do you get over such heartache? I am so lost. I can't bear the thought that I just lost him. I've sent him an e-mail saying everything I still wanted to say to him, but I fear he will never answer. Can someone please tell me how you would handle such heartache? How do you get over this feeling? What should I do?
CorridorE Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) I am so desperately in love with this guy. Head over heels, over the moon in love. I ache everytime I don't hear from him. We met over the internet and I've never been able to meet him. Due to circumstances I think whatever we had now is over. I am utterly heartbroken. I feel like I can't breathe knowing I'll never talk to him again. I can't sleep, can't think, can't concentrate. All I feel is this enormous void in my heart. How do you get over such heartache? I am so lost. I can't bear the thought that I just lost him. I've sent him an e-mail saying everything I still wanted to say to him, but I fear he will never answer. Can someone please tell me how you would handle such heartache? How do you get over this feeling? What should I do? Zealous, I read your previous post about your 15 year-relationship beginning to fall apart. I’m wondering, is that completely over now? I have a similar story to tell… I know your situation is very different from mine but I hope it helps in some way… Months ago I found out my boyfriend of three years had been cheated on me, and then despite me trying to work things out and be forgiving of him he broke up with me when only weeks earlier we had been discussing marriage. It hit me out of nowhere, and I didn’t know what I was going to do. All I did was sulk and felt like my life was ending… Well, about a month later I started talking to a guy online. It all kind of happened by accident; we had known each other in the past but he had moved away and we’d lost touch for years. I really don’t even know him anymore; I only have vague memories of him from when we had some classes together. Now all of a sudden he was back in my life and started being really sweet, caring, giving me compliments, flirting, etc. I know when you started talking to this guy you were still in your long-term relationship, but you said he gave you a lot of the things you missed or weren’t getting from your boyfriend. That’s how I felt… this guy and I began talking every day and even skyped a few times. We got along so well and had more in common than even my ex and I had. He completely took my mind off my ex and felt like I was beginning to fall in love all over again despite not knowing him in person. Well, this went on for about two months, and then finally when we arranged a time to meet in person, he started getting distant and ended up canceling on me. He stopped responding to my messages and calls, and finally told me he didn’t want a relationship. Well… that’s not the way it had seemed before, as he had been telling me things when we video chatted like “wish we could snuggle up on the couch together and fall asleep together watching a movie” “you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and I’m not just a flirt, you really take my breath away…” etc. I tried to just let go of this little relationship we had going, but I found that I just couldn’t. I found myself obsessing and constantly checking my missed calls, texts, and fb account looking for messages from, him hoping he’d come around, even more than I had looked for messages from my ex when we first went into no contact! I still think about him all the time and miss him terribley… I guess my point is that I know how you feel on some level and can relate, but despite the confusing feelings I have right now I don’t think I’m really in love with him because how could I be? We never even met in person… and I don’t think you’re as in love as you think either. You probably just miss having someone who cares and that you feel love from, because I think that’s my problem. I could be 180 degrees wrong, but that’s just my story and my input. Your other relationship ended after such a long time and you thought you found something wonderful and even better that was a blessing, and now you’ve lost that too and feel torn apart. Try not to think about him and don’t obsess… I’m trying not to. I don’t know if I helped at all but I got some things off my own chest. Hang in there and try to meet some new people in person if you can. You’ll be okay, best of luck! Edited April 8, 2013 by CorridorE 1
Author ZealousJJ Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Thank you so much for your story. I did end my old relationship and moved out, also because in all honestly I couldn't leep with him under one roof when my heart belongs to someone else. Our last fight got very out of hand and ended with me having a severely bruised eye. It wasn't on purpose; in his frustration he threw a flowerpot at me which hit me on my cheekbone. At this moment, I am also dealing with another emotional rollercoaster in my life. My mom has cancer (diagnosed 10 months ago), and she is now dying. I'm only 32 and my mom is 63. She would be 64 in June but she'll not make that date. I so hoped this guy would love me back. But a lot of messages went unanswerd and he didn't really ask about my mom. He asked if she was in pain, but if I would respond how I felt, he would sort of change the subject. I just really wished he would answer my love. There's so much that went wrong. So, so much. And I miss him so. I've literally been sick all day, checking my email to see if he'd reply. But he didn't and he probably never will. You're right. I havent even met him in real life. However, what I'm feeling now is so real. A sickening feeling, especially because I have no closure. I need to let time heal my heart again I guess. I am sure I will love him forever. I don't just change my mind like that. He will always be my 'what if', my kryponite. Thanks for sharing honey, I'm somehow glad I'm not alone..
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