Splatty Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 Here is my backstory http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t47605/ I have had no contact for a few weeks and I was thinking about sending this email in a few days or weeks. I need some advice on what I should keep and what is too harsh. When you are hurt it is hard to tell what is too harsh and what is honest feelings. Let me know if I should keep it brief or what. As you see I am not in a big hurry to get back with her, should I even send it at all? Should I just keep NC and keep my pain to myself? The letter: You hurt me worse then anyone or anything has. I have a very hard time believing that someone who loved me as much as you said you did would do the things that you have. At least my last girlfriend broke-up with me before she started dating someone else. I think the worst part is that I was afraid of telling you how I felt about you for so long and when I finally tell you how strong my feelings are, you smash them to pieces. Put yourself in my shoes, telling someone you want to spend the rest of your life with them and that they so happy. In turn they start pushing you away, lie multiple times and dating someone. I know you have heard the expression “the straw that broke the camels back”, well you have piled the straw real high and the email on the first day of school was the last straw. Can you imagine the heart break I feel and to see that I received an email at 2:00am in the morning asking where your stupid love letter is. Did you even think before you sent it? Did you think about how many memories we have at school, the lunches and talks, you and school are so closely linked. I really hope everything you have done makes you happy because if it hasn’t you sure have hurt me with your streak of selfishness and meanness. Why do you want to be friends with me if you are doing everything in your power to get away from me? I don’t think you believe we had a bad thing, granted I see that we should have had more time and lives apart. I don’t understand how I am suppose to be a friend when I love you the way I do. Not to mention I really can’t believe all the lies you have told me. Like “He’s not going to be at the camping trip” you think I didn’t know. Thanks for all the respect and for protecting me. What happens if you find out in a year that you really do love me and you want to get back together? Would it even be possible to fix something that has been damaged so bad? I truly don’t know. My take is that you wanted to be friends because you are uncertain of your feelings…. Ok fine, you didn’t want to totally end things. Then why lie and hurt me like you did? What did you think, I wanted to marry you but you don’t, so I will just turn off my love for you and be your friend. Well I definitely think you are afraid of marriage… ok fine. Then you say “hey the idea of marriage really scares me!” It is not something I want, but I do love you. I totally realize that you have a messed up situation and life has thrown a lot of curve balls all at once, but that doesn’t give you and excuse to hurt, lie and forget your morals and ethics.
backspn Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 I wouldnt send it. It wont do anygood and it will make you seem like you give a damn. Dont give her the satisfaction. Like I tell everyone....make it seem like you are just on top of the world....even though you are not. Its your call to be friends or not but in your situation I would find it hard to be. I would continue the NC and ingnore her. She doesnt deserve you. Will she realize it one day? Probably. Will you have moved on? Maybe. Her loss. Give her time to feel the loss. In about 6 months if you havent heard from her give her a small text saying "Hi". Very short and sweet. This will get her thinking about you again. I would say to give her space...but she doesnt need that from you right now cause she has someone else. The best part of her relationship with him is that it will end, It is a rebound relationship and those NEVER work. She will come running to you when she's done and she will want you back....but you will be the rebound relationship. Let her figure how much she misses you and that could take a while....anything worth having doesnt come easy. Good luck to you and it does get better....trust me.
bikerider Posted September 15, 2004 Posted September 15, 2004 Originally posted by backspn I wouldnt send it. It wont do anygood and it will make you seem like you give a damn. Dont give her the satisfaction. Like I tell everyone....make it seem like you are just on top of the world....even though you are not. Its your call to be friends or not but in your situation I would find it hard to be. I would continue the NC and ingnore her. She doesnt deserve you. Will she realize it one day? Probably. Will you have moved on? Maybe. Her loss. Give her time to feel the loss. In about 6 months if you havent heard from her give her a small text saying "Hi". Very short and sweet. This will get her thinking about you again. I would say to give her space...but she doesnt need that from you right now cause she has someone else. The best part of her relationship with him is that it will end, It is a rebound relationship and those NEVER work. She will come running to you when she's done and she will want you back....but you will be the rebound relationship. Let her figure how much she misses you and that could take a while....anything worth having doesnt come easy. Good luck to you and it does get better....trust me. That is great advice. Yeah, Let her ride it for a while. Check out the poem that ASGOODASITGETS put in a post. Copy it and send that to her. I broke NC ahfter only 7 days and sent it to my exgirl. It was well recieved and made her think I'm sure. I posted her reply in a post of my own. Come out smelling like a rose and not an angry, hurt person. Like backspn said, make it look like you are on top of the world.
Author Splatty Posted September 15, 2004 Author Posted September 15, 2004 I had a moment of weakness, thanks for talking me out of it.
netrie Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 You are human. You are not weak. And that letter was honest and it was YOU. Keep the letter in a safe place but DO NOT SEND IT. Let things ride out... Give it time. She may still contact you but check in with YOU first. Both of you may still find love at the end of the rainbow -- with each other. Hang in there... But do NOT say anything ugly or what you may regret.
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