throughthetrees Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and I feel like an utter failure at relationships. I see all my friends getting married/in LTRs, and I’m so afraid that I’m destined for loneliness. I also feel like at the end of each 1-2 yr relationship, I’m a little older, a little less attractive, a little more desperate, and significantly more damaged. Is it common to feel like this? 1
BUBS Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I sure as hell do... my main concern being the "more damaged" part.
pofnin9 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I have been feeling this on and off but I know that I have been in a situation before where I thought I wouldn't even find someone to love me again and I still did.
TheFriend Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 It's hard to say if damaged is the right word or not... I prefer experienced:) I think it is very common the feel this way however. It does suck feeling like you have wasted a significant time of your life with someone. The best thing to remember is that you will come out knowing how to handle yourself/relationships in the future. Change is scary. The idea of starting over is scary. I am sure that everything truly happens for a reason. We will all find the mature, true love that we deserve. 2
iouaname Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Yes, I have this feeling. I just feel like my ex was what I really wanted in a person and I just have never met anyone who measures up. It's really tough, but who knows...
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and I feel like an utter failure at relationships. I see all my friends getting married/in LTRs, and I’m so afraid that I’m destined for loneliness. I also feel like at the end of each 1-2 yr relationship, I’m a little older, a little less attractive, a little more desperate, and significantly more damaged. Is it common to feel like this? ^^I just feel older and less attractive. Add career problems in this mix, and I am very uneasy about the future... Yes, I have this feeling. I just feel like my ex was what I really wanted in a person and I just have never met anyone who measures up. It's really tough, but who knows... ^^Yup. Very hard to get passed this... My ex was the best girl I have ever been with. Not sure I will reach that high again. But, then again, since we BU, maybe she wasn't even really ever mine to begin with, so wasn't as great as I thought?? 1
McGriff Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Yes, I have this feeling. I just feel like my ex was what I really wanted in a person and I just have never met anyone who measures up. It's really tough, but who knows... I completely identify with this! And this is why I'm completely STUCK on her. I have tried to make a list of the things I didn't like about her, to try and combat the positive things, and while she's not perfect by any means, I absolutely ADORED her, including her flaws. It's been two weeks since I last talked to her and I miss her terribly. People have told me to move on, but that's so much easier said than done. I am getting older, I still feel attractive, and I know eventually i'll meet someone else, but it's gonna take a hell of a person to tear down the walls I've built up after this heartbreak. I mean, we had so much fun, so many memories, conversations, and experiences together---I don't know if I'll ever have that kind of chemistry again, and it's scary. I still can't believe she's gone. I can't believe that we were inseparable, and weeks later we are not even in each others lives. Just doesnt make any sense! It's like a bad nightmare that I wake up to every morning. 1
lavenderlove Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I feel like every relationship I started (no matter how serious they ended up being) I started because it was FUN. It was so much fun falling in love with someone and watching them falling in love with you.... But now, all I see is the alarm signals, doubts and well actually I can't even think of having a relationship. When I see an attractive guy I notice thinking to myself, oh, he would be an other heart ache. I frankly don't know when this is going to end. 1
richard9 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I completely identify with this! And this is why I'm completely STUCK on her. I have tried to make a list of the things I didn't like about her, to try and combat the positive things, and while she's not perfect by any means, I absolutely ADORED her, including her flaws. It's been two weeks since I last talked to her and I miss her terribly. People have told me to move on, but that's so much easier said than done. I am getting older, I still feel attractive, and I know eventually i'll meet someone else, but it's gonna take a hell of a person to tear down the walls I've built up after this heartbreak. I mean, we had so much fun, so many memories, conversations, and experiences together---I don't know if I'll ever have that kind of chemistry again, and it's scary. I still can't believe she's gone. I can't believe that we were inseparable, and weeks later we are not even in each others lives. Just doesnt make any sense! It's like a bad nightmare that I wake up to every morning. Im with you on this! My ex was the most beautiful girl ive seen, when I first saw her my heart was beating so fast! She was stunning and had the personality to match. We somehow ended in each others arm and then she ripped my arms off and went her own way. Its a nightmare, but you are not alone.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 ^^Me too. Awesome girl that will not easily be replaced. Very hard to accept. Very hard!!!
mcdo Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Hmm, I don't identify with those of you who are afraid of starting over and meeting someone new all over again. I for one cannot wait! Maybe we're just at different stages of the healing process. I'm back out there in the big bad world of chatting to girls and sneaking a kiss here and there (with varying levels of success). It doesn't match up to a full blown relationship but it is quite exciting. What I have noticed though is that I've been far more willing to take risks. Back when I was previously single the threat of rejection was a crippling fear that held me back. Not this time ! So that's another positive I can draw from having gone out with a beautiful girl for a couple of years.
Mcnulty Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I really identify with some of the words on here. I'm older, don't have the confidence I used to have when it comes to the opposite sex, I'm putting that down to my year long illness, it really knocked me physically and mentally and I'm just coming out the other side...with severe PTSD and v little confidence and self esteem.....so, meeting someone else seems a million miles away...much work to be done on me first...crap!
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