jma500 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 You missed my point. If she hadnt put her rating/looks number this thread wouldnt be about her personality, it would be about her looks and discussion around that. I think she didnt want to her "youre lying you cant be that pretty" I have been coming to this site daily since October and that IS the way those threads go. It always turns into a looks discussion. Because that is what men heavily focus on... Ok . I get you. So what is this obsession with looks ratings scale on LS? What does it matter?
ScreamingTrees Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Is it actually odd for a financially responsible guy in his mid to late 20s to be ready to settle down with someone, should the right person come along? Can anyone actually believe that a guy may actually be the type of person to quickly figure out what they want out of life and who they are at a young age, and rarely waiver on any of the major long-term end-goal decisions that they've made?
Lani Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Is it actually odd for a financially responsible guy in his mid to late 20s to be ready to settle down with someone, should the right person come along? Can anyone actually believe that a guy may actually be the type of person to quickly figure out what they want out of life and who they are at a young age, and rarely waiver on any of the major long-term end-goal decisions that they've made? I believe this. I've seen it. But, experience tells me they're the exception, not the rule. 2
ScreamingTrees Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I believe this. I've seen it. But, experience tells me they're the exception, not the rule. Well, there are few major decisions in life that I've ever changed my mind about, and kids would be one of the only few.. Never thought I'd have any kids, it'd be too much of a commitment and I wouldn't want to take that leap if I'm not going to fully give myself to it.. I actually *know* that when the time comes, especially if it's in less than 10 years from now, I do want them.. And for all intents and purposes, I sincerely want the big, close-knit, family that I'd never had. I want to give that love and affection, that time and care, to my kids. Don't care if it ends with a sour taste in my mouth, I have confidence that when I'm in a better mental state to meet that person, and I'd be willing to take that gamble, because I have the gut feeling that someone similar to myself will somehow gravitate towards me, and when I recognize this person, it'll be smooth sailing from that point.. OP, hold out hope. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and this is coming from someone who can be bubbly and happy-go-lucky one day, and suicidal the next. 2
outsidethebox Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Here's the situation as I see it. A poster passes on to others a good metric of her looks and asks why she can't get a bf. The metric is necessary info and helpful. However, while it indicates men will be attracted to her, it says nothing about men staying interested in her long enough to be a bf. So it's one item of data. Then there is the detachment item, which I have read her clarification three or four times and not sure if she might be suggesting the detachment of the guy is due to her detachment or is just talking about the detachment of these guys she chooses who do not become bf's. And she doesn't like players and chooses dorkier quieter guys who we know all would love to be a bf of a cute girl. So from that there is some reason they choose not to be which is suggested by someone that "guys in their 20's don't want commitments", therefore from that we have few bf's and gf"s in their 20's? hmmmm, better rethink that. So I would say it takes some doing to drive quiet dorky guys away from a 7. Just my opinion, as poilitically incorrect as it may be. 4
Noproblem Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I think you look good, you just need to be more relaxed, confident, social and of course patient I'm sure you'll find someone who is worthy of you
Djz05 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Quite an interesting post mr. Outsidethebox. I've been following this thread since the OP started it, and all I can say is you just havent met he right guy. You're not the only one with the same story. I dated a friend in college, and she was definitely the hottest girl I dated that time. We didnt really mesh as a couple so we just stayed friends. It was more her personality, I just felt like she wasnt commited to the relationship which made me insecure. Fast forward to the present, she is still single last time we talked. Surprising news considering now that she's a model. Im not saying you might have the same personality. What Im saying is you're not the only one who has trouble staying in a relationship. 3
ascendotum Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I dont like players. I tend to go for dorkier, quieter guys. The last guy I chose to stop seeing was after a few dates because I got the feeling he was a "player." He was a personal trainer. Like I said, most of the guys Ive dated have not been super goodlooking. When I think dorky & quiet, I certainly don't think personal trainer. The PT looked like being a player. Nah get out of here. lol. Your previous prospective guys didn't happen to be bartenders, athletes, bouncers or musicians did they. I wouldn't say dating a PT is hardly dropping down in standards when it comes to looks like you say, though if you are a good looking women, then there is no reason why a hot body guy is not in your realm when it comes to a bf. Your close friends have to give you some advice as to whats going wrong for you. They know your personality and the types of guys you fancy. I've seen some of the replies here, and its what I expect people to guess in your situation. An attractive girl really should not have a hard time finding a bf. If you seek a similarly attractive guy (quiet does not mean he's not a good looker), then unfortunately these days it is a little trickier with the hookup culture to find one who wants to settle into a LTR. While a lot of your '8' guys are making the most of their youth + good looks + eager women, there are still plenty who do want and who do have gfs. If its not your looks and not your personality, then its the guys you choose. 2
Radu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 OP, what about your previous relationships, why did they not work out ?
dchin1985 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) To many men, your look is just a small part of consideration. I think ultimately it is your conenction and chemistry with him that matters, along with your value, goals, interest and etc that play very important part. Then TIMING is everything too. Thats why finding a true partner is very difficult, its not high school or University anymore but it is worth waiting for. Edited April 8, 2013 by dchin1985
Revolver Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) There's tons of men who want to commit around that age. Most women just don't want them. Also one of the other big myths is that young women are in this big rush to be in Relationships it's just the men that don't want them which is crap. Lots of these women actually prefer the whole FWB/sex in the city lifestyle in their 20's. Edited April 8, 2013 by Revolver 2
ChessPieceFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 There's tons of men who want to commit around that age. Most women just don't want them. Wait, you're saying that respectful, loyal, honorable but introverted men are actually people, and some of them are actually worth giving a chance? No you must be mistaken. I'm sure that the answer is continuing to go after bad boys, extroverts and guys that hit on you, hoping to "change" one of them into prince charming.
Els Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 You are delusional...nowhere does she spend 75% of her OP "obsessing" over her looks. I think its funny she said shes been reading these forums for awhile and put her number there as a way to safeguard against the backlash of "you are overestimating your attractiveness" from men on these forums. Its so true!!! That is what the guys on this site do!!! Actually, she is. She stated her 'rating' right in the thread title. I agree that plenty of people on forums can be completely irrational: Attacking you when you obsess about your looks and attacking you when you prefer to not talk about them. But this means you can't ever win, so why be insecure and try to pander to their whims?
Divasu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 OP, what about your previous relationships, why did they not work out ? She's gone. Everyone scared her off.
stillafool Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I would like this thread deleted. My personality is not the problem. Ive had tons of people say my personality is stellar. I am very friendly to EVERYBODY I meet. People I am not attracted to as well. Because I am a nice person! Joining this site was a mistake. Its full of judgmental hate filled people. Goodbye all. Well what are you looking for in this thread? If you don't see any problems with yourself, why do you think you can't get a boyfriend?
ChessPieceFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Well what are you looking for in this thread? If you don't see any problems with yourself, why do you think you can't get a boyfriend? Yeah, and with such an inability to listen to the people who WERE helpful, such a dismissive attitude and unwillingness to introspect or listen to any criticism, I am CERTAINLY not seeing a "stellar personality." Looks to me like an argumentative and stubborn personality, which is likely a big cause of some of the problems.
pbjbear Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Yeah, and with such an inability to listen to the people who WERE helpful, such a dismissive attitude and unwillingness to introspect or listen to any criticism, I am CERTAINLY not seeing a "stellar personality." Looks to me like an argumentative and stubborn personality, which is likely a big cause of some of the problems. I dont think so. Some people were pretty mean.
CarrieT Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I dont think so. Some people were pretty mean. Well, I - for one - was an early poster trying to help and she continued to bristle with me about the comment on her looks which I never addressed and while she returned briefly to answer some of my questions (the same Radu asked), she never responded to those inquiries about her prior relationships... 1
KungFuJoe Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Are you kidding me? Her opening post was so full of "I'm so pretty, I'm so cute, everyone says I am!" that I wanted to puke.
Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 ANY AND ALL WOMEN ~ are Tens! Some are a four and a six pack! Some are a two and eight fifths of Scotch Whiskey! But, they're ALL tens! Same with men for women. And I say this as though I were your 56 year old Father. At twenty - four? Your way too young to be worried about finding a steady boyfriend. Men (and women) come and go? Ain't no one monkey that makes the show! The hard, brute cold truth is? Most men (for women and women for men) are an absolute and complete waste of time, effort, energy and money. As are most any and all relationships. But you've got to throw your line in the water to catch anything, even if you do catch a lot of "trash fish" that you end up throwing back. As a woman and at 24 you need to be focusing on establishing yourself, and laying a foundation for yourself and any future children. And in so doing? You need to do so without the expectation of having to rely upon any man for so much as spit. Wha you need to be concentrating on is your education, your carrer, your savings (for this, that, your future, your emergency fund, your retirement). Now is the time to fully educate yourslef about personal finance as well as personal relationships ~ and gaining hard earned experience in both. All of your friends that are married, and having babies? A little over half will be divorced in less than ten years or so? Don't fall into the life trap that just because you don't have a steady BF or that your not married by the time your ________, and having babies by the time your _________ that your some kind of social misfit, your being paitent for the right one. Being a woman, your promablly about ten years emotionally more mature than a guy your same age. Probally you need to be looking for some guy that's never been married (see the above criteria) doesn't have any children, who's not entangled with a load of X's and chlidren and who's about eight to ten years younger than you ~ simply because he's going to be more mature emotionally and better established. You'll find yourself more emotionally compatiable and complimentary to and with one another. Everytime I've dated someone that was the same age or close to the same age as I? It ended in diaster. Everytime I dated a woman that was five, six years or more younger than I? :love: :love: Like sugar and cream ~ like peanut butter and jelly! Mrs Gunny is six years younger than I and we're in our early to mid fifties.
TouchedByViolet Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I'm surprised she got attacked so much. The amount of assumptions made about her are surprising to me. She was a first time poster who gave limited information. The amount of helpful posts were minimal. People here assume so much based on their own personal experiences. 1
Emilia Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I'm surprised she got attacked so much. The amount of assumptions made about her are surprising to me. She was a first time poster who gave limited information. The amount of helpful posts were minimal. People here assume so much based on their own personal experiences. Yes I was surprised too. I thought most of it was unwarranted. Maybe all of it was
hppr Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 7 is a nice way of saying that you're average. As far as dating goes it's really about common interests and goals. What do you want out of life? What sort of relationship goals do you have? If you can't answer that, or don't really know, then dating will seem like a fairly pointless affair, and if/when you get a boyfriend/girlfriend they will seem boring, nonchalant, not caring about much etc...
ScreamingTrees Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 7 is a nice way of saying that you're average. As far as dating goes it's really about common interests and goals. What do you want out of life? What sort of relationship goals do you have? If you can't answer that, or don't really know, then dating will seem like a fairly pointless affair, and if/when you get a boyfriend/girlfriend they will seem boring, nonchalant, not caring about much etc... Actually, on a scale of 1-10, 5 would be average. lol
man_in_the_box Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 7 is a nice way of saying that you're average. I've always found it curious that people take their 'rating' by the opposite sex in person or on the internet seriously. And how they get to that point anyway.
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