Michelle83 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I don't get why women make this so complicated Guys just want a girl who is in good shape and is not fat. It doesn't really matter if you're size 4 or size 8 - as long as you're not chunky around the waist There's going to be a big difference in waist size between a size 4 and size 8. You don't consider size 8 chunky?
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 There's going to be a big difference in waist size between a size 4 and size 8. You don't consider size 8 chunky? It very much depends on the height. 1
Author curlygirl40 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 Well you're certainly correct there will be a difference in waist size between a 4 and an 8, but I think the majority of the guy posters have made the point as long as it's carried well, they will still be attracted. I think that can be a turn off for either sex, carrying a lot of weight around the middle. I guess what I'm getting at with this thread is that I know 'average' is VERY subjective. What one person finds attractive another will not. I see that and understand it. But when a guy posts on his OLD preferences 'slender' and/or says he likes girls thin or petite, I would assume that he wouldn't be attracted to certain body types and that he likes girls to be very thin. However when I joked about it to this last guy he said he's o.k with average but he puts slender to scare away the girls who think they are average or curvy but are actually overweight. I don't really like that answer because he could simply ignore those contacts if he's not attracted for any reason. Is his inbox so full of girls who do that, that it's a huge problem for him? I'm betting not. Is this a huge problem with OLD? That overweight women are misrepresenting themselves and chasing men in the process? I think almost every guy I have met through OLD has a story to tell about a girl who only had a face shot and who was overweight in person, blah, blah. It seems to be an acceptable story to tell. I find it odd. Thank you all for chiming in. 1
tricolors Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I'm a male in fairly decent shape. I spend around two hours a day at the gym, and lately I've been going to a local park and doing things for another 1+ hours. I've been doing an insane amount of cardio lately. I've been going to the gym for seven years straight almost now, and I've put on a pretty decent amount of muscle. I stand at about 5'10 and 190 pounds right now, and I can fit into 30 inch jeans, albeit they're a little tight on me, and I'm sticking to 32's right at the moment. I'm going on vacation this summer for almost three months in Europe, and I'm in the process of slimming down to six pack abs for the first time in my life. If I get there I get there, if I don't, I don't, but I'm trying. The point of me saying this is, I have NO problem dating a woman who might not be in the best of shape (not that I'm anything to brag about, but I'd consider myself in better shape than a majority of men my age.) Yeah, I'm not interested in someone who is obese, nor am I interested in someone who isn't into outdoor activities or athletics of some kind, but you do NOT have to be model skinny or anything close to it. I'm almost 34, and I like dating women my own age. A lot of women in their 30's might have some things going on like an ass or thighs a little bit bigger than they had ten years ago, which maybe they're embarrassed about, even if they're regular gym goers or athletes. If I click with someone's personality and interests, that stuff doesn't even matter in the least to me. When you're dealing with guys who are obsessed with dating 20-25 year olds, yeah, that's probably a big part of their desire, to have a woman who is still naturally thin and everything that goes with it at that age. When you find men who are actually interested in women their own age, I don't think you should be afraid to talk to them or be embarrassed, especially if you're in a position where you already know them, and you know you already have things in common. 2
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Honestly....I feel like men who want extremely slim women have some weird issues OR are Asian. Seriously though, I'm a woman and I just can't see how a man can't like curves on a woman. Heck I even find myself looking at the solo female porns sometimes and I always end up with a "meh" and close the page quickly if it's some twig. Well I'm glad I'm Asian because otherwise i have some weird issues... The one "curvy" ex I had (5'8, fluctuated between a size 4 and 6) would spitefully tell me "You like 12 year old boys with breasts..." She really resented that my dream girl looked like this: Pictures & Photos of Mädchen Amick - IMDb I never mentioned it EVEN once to her in 4.5 years together, but sadly we were friends before dating and she observed what my type was. She was more obsessed about it than it was...
clia Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Is this a huge problem with OLD? That overweight women are misrepresenting themselves and chasing men in the process? I think almost every guy I have met through OLD has a story to tell about a girl who only had a face shot and who was overweight in person, blah, blah. It seems to be an acceptable story to tell. I find it odd. I also think it's odd, but I also hear from my guy friends that it is common for women to post out of date pictures where they weighed a lot less or to otherwise misrepresent their weight. I think it's similar to when men misrepresent their height and claim to be taller than they really are. I never saw the point of it -- lying was never a good way to make a good impression on me -- but I suspect people think that if you just meet them in person you'll think they are so great, you won't care as much. 1
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 To expand on this; I think that are quite a few men out there that have a strict preference for slim and petite women. They are obsessed by even a few extra pounds (like my ex was ) and these men will usually mention this in their profile. You may be at their upper level of acceptable weight, but what happens if you gain a few pounds? Men being very visual, its very important to be their physical type. If they are not 100% sexually attracted, it well spell major trouble later on. You like what you like and just don't have much control over it. Last night I met up with a girl who listed herself as curvy but didn't appear so in her pics. Turns out she was curvy and I knew right away I had no attraction to her. Since she didn't try to deceive me, and I was just hoping for the best, I TRIED to keep an open mind and paid for drinks and dinner etc... One thing going through my mind the whole night was that she was so friendly and outgoing - always smiling and a great conversationalist. It didn't matter. I just didn't feel it. Contrast that to my date Friday, who is TOTALLY my type but was basically a wallflower when the date started. I did most of the talking and initiated physical contact, and eventually she really opened up and we were acting like BF/GF by the end of the night. But she really didn't do a DAMN thing to merit the reaction she got from me, other than show up. So yes if they are NOT 100% sexually attracted, it will spell major trouble later on...
Imajerk17 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) This is why in my profile I do not mention the body type I am looking for, at least not in any of the "In my own words" sections. (And I actually do prefer curvier women.) There is just no way that could help me. A woman whom I might like but who doesn't have the body type I said I like will discount herself. And a woman who DOES have the body type I like might be turned off too--maybe she feels objectified or something. I like to keep my options open and putting anything like that in will close them off. Anyway this guy made a mistake putting in his profile that he prefers slender women. Anyway OP, if you have pictures that show what you look like don't sweat it. You can mention your body type if/when it gets to the phone call stage, if you really feel the need to do so that is. Edited April 9, 2013 by Imajerk17 3
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I also think it's odd, but I also hear from my guy friends that it is common for women to post out of date pictures where they weighed a lot less or to otherwise misrepresent their weight. I think it's similar to when men misrepresent their height and claim to be taller than they really are. I never saw the point of it -- lying was never a good way to make a good impression on me -- but I suspect people think that if you just meet them in person you'll think they are so great, you won't care as much. You know I've heard so many horror stories here and with friends that I was bracing myself for the worst. I've been on 7 OLD dates all between 25-35 and it hasn't been a problem at all in that age range. Only my most recent date looked worse than her pics and she certainly didn't attempt to deceive. Three of my dates actually looked better than their pics - one significantly so...
tbf Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Honestly....I feel like men who want extremely slim women have some weird issues OR are Asian. Seriously though, I'm a woman and I just can't see how a man can't like curves on a woman. Heck I even find myself looking at the solo female porns sometimes and I always end up with a "meh" and close the page quickly if it's some twig.Well that was blatantly catty and unnecessary. How ghastly that different men prefer different body types where if your body type isn't their ideal, there's something wrong with them. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 You like what you like and just don't have much control over it. Last night I met up with a girl who listed herself as curvy but didn't appear so in her pics. Turns out she was curvy and I knew right away I had no attraction to her. Since she didn't try to deceive me, and I was just hoping for the best, I TRIED to keep an open mind and paid for drinks and dinner etc... One thing going through my mind the whole night was that she was so friendly and outgoing - always smiling and a great conversationalist. It didn't matter. I just didn't feel it. Contrast that to my date Friday, who is TOTALLY my type but was basically a wallflower when the date started. I did most of the talking and initiated physical contact, and eventually she really opened up and we were acting like BF/GF by the end of the night. But she really didn't do a DAMN thing to merit the reaction she got from me, other than show up. So yes if they are NOT 100% sexually attracted, it will spell major trouble later on... Yeah, that's what I meant exactly. I know just HOW important this is to men. I have one ex that was really into curvy women. He loved my body, and went on and on about how it was his ideal type. Things didn't work out (this was years and years ago) and he now lives in another country. We stay in light touch via FB. He now has a gf of 4 years. She is very slim, you might even say extremely thin. She is his dream girl in everything except for the body type. Whenever I ask him why he didn't propose yet he starts with "I know this is going to sound shallow....but" and he goes on to say that the fact that she is not his ideal type physically really bothers him. They may end up married, but I certainly never want to be in this girl's position. I have had exs who thought I was a goddess and I had ones that constantly pressured me to lose weight. I certainly would never want to be in the latter type of relationship, no matter how awesome the guy is.
Lonely Ronin Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I had ones that constantly pressured me to lose weight. WTF? [10 characters]
HopelessRomantic76 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Men are such shallow pigs at times. To not give a great girl a shot because shes a few pounds over your ideal fantasy weight is shameful
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 WTF? [10 characters] Yeah, it was my own fault for not dumping these men
CryForNoOne Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Yeah, that's what I meant exactly. I know just HOW important this is to men. I have one ex that was really into curvy women. He loved my body, and went on and on about how it was his ideal type. Things didn't work out (this was years and years ago) and he now lives in another country. We stay in light touch via FB. He now has a gf of 4 years. She is very slim, you might even say extremely thin. She is his dream girl in everything except for the body type. Whenever I ask him why he didn't propose yet he starts with "I know this is going to sound shallow....but" and he goes on to say that the fact that she is not his ideal type physically really bothers him. They may end up married, but I certainly never want to be in this girl's position. I have had exs who thought I was a goddess and I had ones that constantly pressured me to lose weight. I certainly would never want to be in the latter type of relationship, no matter how awesome the guy is. I'd add another huge red flag is the guy who has limited options - been that guy before. Past me might have ended dating the girl last night just because she likes me and I'd rather not be alone. Frankly, I think 80% of relationships wind up this way to "some" extent. I think men do this more than women sadly. It's sounds like your ex should not propose or that will be just another one of those loveless marriages in 7 years...
PJKino Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Men are such shallow pigs at times. To not give a great girl a shot because shes a few pounds over your ideal fantasy weight is shameful Yet its perfectly fine for women to have extremely strict height standards and not give a great guy a chance because hes an inch or two under their cutoff line Women are something else..they scream love me for who iam and all my flaws but wont give guys the same benefit..
tricolors Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Men are such shallow pigs at times. To not give a great girl a shot because shes a few pounds over your ideal fantasy weight is shameful The woman I'm pursuing right now - - and JFC I hope she never sees this somehow - - is probably a little overweight. One of my friends said "She could stand to lose 20 pounds, but she's very pretty." I don't even think about it for a second. She has so many qualities I like, rare qualities, the shape she's in isn't even a blip on the radar...and she's not even fat or anything close to it, not even chubby. She plays sports and does a lot of outside activities, she's no layabout. She's almost 40, I'm 33, and in decent shape, and getting better week by week. At my age, I could be dating women in their late 20's still (about as young as I'd want to go.) I have ZERO interest in anyone but her right now. She's so completely engaging in who she is and her personality, I don't care to even possibly think less of her because she doesn't have the body of a 20 year old. And I'm the one chasing her, not the other way around! Edited April 9, 2013 by tricolors 4
grkBoy Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Meh. I think when any man or women comes on to you and makes it sound like a healthy body weight is still "fat", it should be a red flag. I know it's a red flag for me when I see women deeply obsess over male stars with amazing bodies or when they obsess on how they're so "fat and ugly" because they don't look like the Photoshopped woman on the magazine cover. I get it when a man says he's not into a fat woman or a woman saying she's not into a fat guy or flabby guy...but I go back to how I feel about standards and that the man or woman judging should very well be ready to provide the very same. So the guy who wants a slim woman had better be slim and in shape, or the women who wants Channing Tatum's lost brother had very well look as good as him...or either shouldn't complain when the objects of their affection reject them. I always notice the men or women who want physical perfection in a mate are usually the ones who are chronically single, and often never find anyone.
Lonely Ronin Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Yeah, it was my own fault for not dumping these men How light did he think you should be? I mean from your pics, you already look like someone I could easily throw across the room.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 How light did he think you should be? I mean from your pics, you already look like someone I could easily throw across the room. Haha, he was not as tall or as physically strong as you But he wanted me to lose 10lbs - hardly worth picking fights or pressuring me over - yet he did it over and over again, including watching what I eat constantly. It was miserable.
Michelle83 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Haha, he was not as tall or as physically strong as you But he wanted me to lose 10lbs - hardly worth picking fights or pressuring me over - yet he did it over and over again, including watching what I eat constantly. It was miserable. Wow, that's so horrible. Was he in impeccable physical condition himself? I should hope to to make those kind of comments.
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