kjkjkjkkjkjj Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 This is about to be pretty long, but I really need advice: My boyfriend and I are in college and have been dating for 2 years. Our relationship has't necessarily been easy, but it has been worth it. However, lately I am starting to question our relationship and whether it has run its course. In the beginning of our relationship (I know this is normal for couples) we were really into each other physically, but over the past two years he has gained around 40 lbs and I simply cannot help but not be as attracted to him. He just doesn't seem to take care of himself in his exercise, eating or study habits. This doesn't stop me from loving him, but I have pretty much lost all interest in being physical with him. I feel terrible about it because he feels embarrassed and ugly, and gets frustrated. He is worried about our future due to our struggles in this area. But it's not just because he's gained weight... it's also because I don't feel like he puts any effort into our relationship anymore or makes any time for me. I barely see him except at night, rarely on weekends because he has to work and catch up on homework. It has been ages since we've been on a date that wasn't mandatory (holidays, birthdays, etc). It doesn't seem like he wants to do anything sweet for me or make our relationship special at all anymore. I explained this to him and he agreed that he often takes our relationship for granted and knows he needs to do more. I completely believe that he has good intentions with this, but I don't necessarily see them playing out. He gets distracted easily, so he can't get much work done, and I don't see him having any more time for me in the near future than he does right now. Also, we will be apart for 7 months soon for back-to-back study abroad trips. I know this will be a struggle (because I want communication and he isn't great at long-distance stuff). My final and perhaps biggest problem is that I keep finding myself interested, physically and emotionally, in other guys. This is probably because I rarely see my boyfriend, don't feel that sexually attracted to him, and because I've been spending a lot more time with my guy friends lately to compensate for feeling lonely. So, I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have a loving relationship-- he is incredibly supportive, intelligent, outgoing, and goofy. I think it would be a shame to break up--I love him. Yet, these problems (especially the physical compatibility) will continue to grow unless I find a way to adress them. I need advice! Can I somehow make myself more attracted to him? Should I give him time to prove he will put more effort into the relationship? Is all this my mind telling me it's time to move on? I want to give it one more shot but I don't know how. Thank you!
zanzi Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 sounds like you two went from being in a relationship to being good friends and nothing more a long time ago.
Krieger Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 why not both of you take a break for each other and if you get back together it meant to be . Some times people need to see and feel the emotions of what they are losing .
greenetree Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Sounds like you are a buyer and he is a free loader. Sorry but need to have a talk with him or end it otherwise it sounds like you will end up cheating and hating yourself.
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