Thinking of joining the military (female)...what is dating like while enlisted?

[Archgirl]

It really ends there...

 

See Above.

 

 

 

I don't want to step in on Castle.

 

Liar

 

Yes.

 

I await your pm with great interest hot new added contact

In the military, you don't even have to leave your chair. They all come to you.

 

 

Again this is different from my current dating life how exactly?

[USMCHokie]

Why do you cut yourself short?

 

It was more of a joke reminiscing my earlier days on LS...

[Radu]

If you're a woman and you want a family, i don't think it will be that great for you.

 

Generally speaking, women are more understandind and supportive of the kind of spouse a military one is.

Men generally, not so.

Plus the fact that whomever you do meet, he won't get to have much of a career unless he is a freelance programmer working on his PC at home.

 

And while i'm not familiar with the dynamics of the particular military, i know what happens when you put 1 woman [regardless of her looks] in close contact with tons of guys just out of HS.

Add the fact that it's a slightly older woman and the said guys are still drooling over their HS teachers.

 

The statistics that some friends who work in fields where they spend 4months in close quarters, 20 men and 1 woman cited something like 80% probability for the woman to have the attention go to their heads, and very likely for her to cheat.

 

Personally, i'd steer clear of military women.

 

PS: Sorry OP but you asked for honesty.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It was more of a joke reminiscing my earlier days on LS...

 

Ah so much has happened but at the same time nothing at all

[USMCHokie]

If you're a woman and you want a family, i don't think it will be that great for you.

 

Generally speaking, women are more understandind and supportive of the kind of spouse a military one is.

Men generally, not so.

Plus the fact that whomever you do meet, he won't get to have much of a career unless he is a freelance programmer working on his PC at home.

 

And while i'm not familiar with the dynamics of the particular military, i know what happens when you put 1 woman [regardless of her looks] in close contact with tons of guys just out of HS.

Add the fact that it's a slightly older woman and the said guys are still drooling over their HS teachers.

 

The statistics that some friends who work in fields where they spend 4months in close quarters, 20 men and 1 woman cited something like 80% probability for the woman to have the attention go to their heads, and very likely for her to cheat.

 

Personally, i'd steer clear of military women.

 

PS: Sorry OP but you asked for honesty.

 

I absolutely agree with this. I personally have a non-DOD policy; I just don't want to have to deal with it. And for women in the military, your best bet really is to just marry into the military...but that's just my opinion.

[USMCHokie]

Ah so much has happened but at the same time nothing at all

 

Zuh....?

[Radu]

I forgot to add the closing of my above post.

 

The biggest problem is your age.

You are 27.

Takes 2yrs to train as a nurse [afaik] if you haven't done so already.

You will serve a few, or many ... for how long do you plan to sign up ?

 

That will put you in your early 30's, if not mid 30's when your life settles down somewhat, when you can stay to one place to raise a family.

If you are willing to give up having a family, then that's another story.

 

If you were 18, i'd say go for it.

Really, it would have been a great ideea to get some quality qualifications, some money put aside, and even some help if you chose a college later on.

 

It sucks, but that's how it is.

Personally, i regret i can't enlist as a fireman.

They take only under 28, and with my previous qualifications they would have taken me despite my chubby, you have to be on call 1day / week and you get paid quite well for it [500euros / month].

 

If you are mourning lost opportunities, try looking at what the future holds and give your 110% in some of those.

[ChessPieceFace]

Can I not comment "politically"? Well, I can still relate relevant info from my own life.

 

I'm broke. I could have been making 6 figures working for a military contractor for the afghanistan war, but no amount of money is worth having the blood of innocent children on my hands. I would rather live under a bridge and starve to death than know I willfully contributed to the murder of innocent people. If I had made that money my mom wouldn't have lost her house. But our house and my life isn't worth more than someone else's.

 

Get informed. I think you will reconsider.

[Taramere]

Oh yes I do... Do tell me, please! I've heard bad ones too, but the better informed I am, the more I feel that I can avoid bad situations if I do end up enlisting.

 

I'll get flamed for raising it, since this subject always results in arguments - and no doubt for every woman who has a bad experience in the services there are plenty more who had a very good experience. However there's no point in skirting around the issue. There's been a lot of news coverage, over the past few years, about sexual assault in the military.

 

In an environment where men and women are often in close proximity, machismo tends to prevail and you are expected to toe the line/place loyalty to the services above everything else (including your own personal safety and wellbeing) avoiding bad situations might not, realistically, be as easy as you would hope.

[Celtica]

I forgot to add the closing of my above post.

 

The biggest problem is your age.

You are 27.

Takes 2yrs to train as a nurse [afaik] if you haven't done so already.

You will serve a few, or many ... for how long do you plan to sign up ?

 

That will put you in your early 30's, if not mid 30's when your life settles down somewhat, when you can stay to one place to raise a family.

If you are willing to give up having a family, then that's another story.

 

If you were 18, i'd say go for it.

Really, it would have been a great ideea to get some quality qualifications, some money put aside, and even some help if you chose a college later on.

 

It sucks, but that's how it is.

Personally, i regret i can't enlist as a fireman.

They take only under 28, and with my previous qualifications they would have taken me despite my chubby, you have to be on call 1day / week and you get paid quite well for it [500euros / month].

 

If you are mourning lost opportunities, try looking at what the future holds and give your 110% in some of those.

 

I'm actually 26 (27 in Sept). But in any case, what's the difference between me doing anything else in my life and doing this? If I do want to settle down, who says I'd find a relationship if I'd be doing anything else or any other job? I need to go back to school no matter what, and this has been the dilemma for me. I had all my goals and schooling lined up when I was 23 but had to post-pone practically everything (work, school, my life) because of a sickness I had developed (which I've finally sorted out this year). So I'm back to square one no matter what. I'll be starting with youngins no matter where I go, so there's no pretending. And in any school I apply to I'll practically graduate when I'm 30. And when I'm 30, I've heard dating gets pretty hard because guys are extra aware of women's needs to settle down. But who knows! Maybe God didn't have kids, or marriage in His plans for me. I would hope He did, but the fact that I missed out on some great opportunities because of my illness perhaps tells me something. I will never quit though.

 

Another thing: I believe firmly in loyalty. I would think that dating within the military, if it happens, would also be good practice for weeding out the not-so-serious from the serious (talk about speed-dating) and being a Catholic, that could scare off a whole bunch of 'em (NFP anyone? lol), thus finding a serious match if it came down to it.

 

Military is my plan A. Plan B is going to New Zealand and getting my nursing degree there.

[Giraffe1]

I'm actually 26 (27 in Sept). But in any case, what's the difference between me doing anything else in my life and doing this? If I do want to settle down, who says I'd find a relationship if I'd be doing anything else or any other job? I need to go back to school no matter what, and this has been the dilemma for me. I had all my goals and schooling lined up when I was 23 but had to post-pone practically everything (work, school, my life) because of a sickness I had developed (which I've finally sorted out this year). So I'm back to square one no matter what. I'll be starting with youngins no matter where I go, so there's no pretending. And in any school I apply to I'll practically graduate when I'm 30. And when I'm 30, I've heard dating gets pretty hard because guys are extra aware of women's needs to settle down. But who knows! Maybe God didn't have kids, or marriage in His plans for me. I would hope He did, but the fact that I missed out on some great opportunities because of my illness perhaps tells me something. I will never quit though.

 

Another thing: I believe firmly in loyalty. I would think that dating within the military, if it happens, would also be good practice for weeding out the not-so-serious from the serious (talk about speed-dating) and being a Catholic, that could scare off a whole bunch of 'em (NFP anyone? lol), thus finding a serious match if it came down to it.

 

Military is my plan A. Plan B is going to New Zealand and getting my nursing degree there.

 

I say go for it! This is your life.

 

Think when you are in your 40s will you regret not joining the military or will you reminisce and be glad you did?

 

One red flag you mentioned an illness. When you join they send you to a doctor and they do a thorough physical exam on you. They ask all about your medical history and certain illnesses are medically disqualifying. Just a heads up.

[Drseussgrrl]

I'm actually 26 (27 in Sept). But in any case, what's the difference between me doing anything else in my life and doing this? If I do want to settle down, who says I'd find a relationship if I'd be doing anything else or any other job? I need to go back to school no matter what, and this has been the dilemma for me. I had all my goals and schooling lined up when I was 23 but had to post-pone practically everything (work, school, my life) because of a sickness I had developed (which I've finally sorted out this year). So I'm back to square one no matter what. I'll be starting with youngins no matter where I go, so there's no pretending. And in any school I apply to I'll practically graduate when I'm 30. And when I'm 30, I've heard dating gets pretty hard because guys are extra aware of women's needs to settle down. But who knows! Maybe God didn't have kids, or marriage in His plans for me. I would hope He did, but the fact that I missed out on some great opportunities because of my illness perhaps tells me something. I will never quit though.

 

Another thing: I believe firmly in loyalty. I would think that dating within the military, if it happens, would also be good practice for weeding out the not-so-serious from the serious (talk about speed-dating) and being a Catholic, that could scare off a whole bunch of 'em (NFP anyone? lol), thus finding a serious match if it came down to it.

 

Military is my plan A. Plan B is going to New Zealand and getting my nursing degree there.

 

I was enlisted in the navy, which, I've heard, is much more female-friendly than the army.

 

I can't tell you how much I wish i had just stuck to college at the time. I don't want to offend anyone here, but many of the people who join up do so because they are out of options. I am SO VERY GLAD I didn't marry anyone I dated while enlisted. You will be surrounded by 18-20-year-olds in bootcamp. It's much, much different than being older in college.

 

Then, you won't have much say in where you get sent. It could be Ft Leavenworth KS for all you know and that pretty much sucks a big one. The army will pretty much own your ass for the duration of your enlistment and you'll need permission to even fly home for the weekend if you want.

 

Go to NZ. Trust me.

 

And yeah - then there are all the pitfalls of being a female in a male-dominated environment. You think you'll have pick of the litter. Ok - who knows, you might. But you'll get sick of the sexist jokes, cat-calling, and people assuming you're a slut because you're active duty.

 

If you have to enlist - look into the Coast Guard. My gf did and she loved it. They are much smaller, however, and VERY female-friendly.

[Celtica]

I say go for it! This is your life.

 

Think when you are in your 40s will you regret not joining the military or will you reminisce and be glad you did?

 

One red flag you mentioned an illness. When you join they send you to a doctor and they do a thorough physical exam on you. They ask all about your medical history and certain illnesses are medically disqualifying. Just a heads up.

 

It was a thyroid disorder. It's cleared now with meds. Would that disqualify me?

[Giraffe1]

It was a thyroid disorder. It's cleared now with meds. Would that disqualify me?

 

Not too sure about that one

 

. The recruiter will tell you to lie because they can't really go through your medical records.

[GorillaTheater]

It was a thyroid disorder. It's cleared now with meds. Would that disqualify me?

 

Medical boards and the waiver process vary so much with time and service it's hard to say.

 

BTW, the Navy has the best base locations, bar none.

 

I say go for it. You'll be an officer, right?

[PogoStick]

It's crazy to go into the military because it might be good for your love life. Also, you will still need to go to school after you finish the military. Or are you planning to stick around for 20 years? Most likely you'll get out in the same situation but a few years older.

 

The unemployment rate for former military is dismal. Look into it.

[GorillaTheater]

The unemployment rate for former military is dismal. Look into it.

 

If she's in a medical field, her prospects should be pretty rosy regardless.

[Els]

Plan B is going to New Zealand and getting my nursing degree there.

 

Highly recommend this over the military option, although AFAIK NZ charges US citizens international tuition fees, and those aren't gonna be affordable by any means.

 

Why are you not considering just doing your nursing degree where you are?

[Giraffe1]

It's crazy to go into the military because it might be good for your love life. Also, you will still need to go to school after you finish the military. Or are you planning to stick around for 20 years? Most likely you'll get out in the same situation but a few years older.

 

The unemployment rate for former military is dismal. Look into it.

 

It depends what your job is, the Air Force does pretty well at airports and the like afterwards. You can go to school WHILE you are in the military and get your bachelor degree. You can use tuition assistance and the GI bill.

[Drseussgrrl]

If she's in a medical field, her prospects should be pretty rosy regardless.

 

Not necessarily.

 

Nurses in the military have college degrees and are officers.

 

As an enlisted person she'll most likely work in the records department at a hospital.

[GorillaTheater]

Not necessarily.

 

Nurses in the military have college degrees and are officers.

 

As an enlisted person she'll most likely work in the records department at a hospital.

 

That's probably true, and I guess I misunderstood the OP; I thought she was going in with a nursing degree and would therefore be an officer.

 

Still, as generous as the GI Bill is these days (and Hazlewood Act for vets in Texas), it still may be a good choice.

[Els]

Leaving aside all other aspects, and talking solely about dating - I don't think military service is your best bet if you want a LTR. Some military folks are able to sustain a relationship or family, but many more find that their relationships fall apart when they are away on duty. I don't think the reason is necessarily infidelity, but more so the fact that you are essentially likely to be in the worst type of LDR there is - a LDR in which frequent contact is difficult and one person is in harm's way. LDRs in themselves are much more difficult to maintain over the long term than you would imagine, if you have not been in one. LDR with the added stress of danger and lack of contact? I don't even want to imagine that.

 

I know two guys who enlisted in the military (not in the USA). Both of them lost their long-term gfs after being stationed overseas for several months.

[RedRobin]

Google the recent stories on NPR about the number of women raped while in the US military... if you live in the US.

 

Some pretty disgusting stuff and major abuses of power there. Reminds me of how things were when they first outed the Catholic Church and everything higher ups did to shield the priests and reporting of pedophilia.

 

The military's problems sound pretty deep rooted.

[RovingReporter]

If you're a 5 in real life, you're an 11 in the Army.

[Eternal Sunshine]

If you're a 5 in real life, you're an 11 in the Army.

 

Why did I never consider this before?

 

I think I need a career change