Derpderpleton Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) My ex and I agreed to stay friends after the break up (2 and a half months ago). I wasn't going to go with it at first, but she texted me and was pretty much pleading to me that 'she didn't want us to be like this', so I agreed that we can stay friends, we even hung out a few times within the first couple of weeks (I should have drawn the line there). I've been NC (outside of work) for about a month and a half. She initiated it before I did, I asked her to hang out one time and she pretty much ignored me, texting me back a couple of days later acting all bitchy, claiming she just now got my texts. Lately she's been posting some stuff thats been pissing me off. She broke up with me because 'she doesn't want a relationship', and yet, she was posting about how 'all guys around here suck' and how she 'wants a boyfriend'. She even favorited some tweets that I know for a fact she was thinking about me when she did it. One of them was something along the lines of 'I wasted my senior year on you', there were a few more ones which I took offense to, but I mention that one because it hurt the most. She does all of this stuff, but when I see her at work she smiles in my face and expects me to do the same. Anyways, this is why I'm asking if I should feel bad. Lately, I've been just completely shutting her out at work. We used to occasionally talk, joke around and whatnot when we worked together, but now I don't even look at her or acknowledge her presence. A couple of days ago, when we were working together, she called me over to ask me something, but I totally ignored her, she eventually got someone else to get my attention, so I answered her question and she said something about me ignoring her and all I said was 'I didn't hear you'. I ignored her the rest of the day pretty much, I was joking around and talking to other coworkers, but not with her at all, she tried to a couple of times, but I ignored her. When I got off, she came up to me and said 'So, you're just ignoring me now?', she said this in a joking tone, I don't think she was seriously upset. I just gave her a vague response and walked away to avoid any further conversation. Should I feel bad for doing this? Part of me feels guilty, even after how immature she's been lately. On the other hand, I feel alot better emotionally since doing this and alot stronger. Thanks for reading! Sorry if it was kind of long. Edited April 7, 2013 by Derpderpleton
cdt76 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 No you should not feel bad for doing this. You can't be friends with someone if you want to kiss them or still have feelings for them! Do what you need to do to move on with your life and if ignoring her does the trick, do it. Don't worry about her feelings. Do what you need to do to heal.
steveT95 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Think about yourself. Don't give a sh*t about how your actions make her feel. You don't owe her anything. She left you. Talking to her is doing her a favour, so don't. It won't help you heal. Do you still have feelings for her? 3
Author Derpderpleton Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Think about yourself. Don't give a sh*t about how your actions make her feel. You don't owe her anything. She left you. Talking to her is doing her a favour, so don't. It won't help you heal. Do you still have feelings for her? The feelings are still there, but they're not as strong anymore. I want to be her friend again eventually, but not until she shows that she's ready to be mature. I'm just sick of seeing the person she has become since we've been broken up. Like, why is she posting sh*t directed at me, when I've done nothing to deserve it?
Sugarkane Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 You shouldnt feel bad about NC, that is what dumpers usually do. 1
RiceaRoni Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My ex talked sh*t about me too.. Its just their way of validation...trying to convince themselves they made the right choice.. Ignore and go NC, you dont deserve the treatment shes giving you 2
Author Derpderpleton Posted April 11, 2013 Author Posted April 11, 2013 Well, I posted something on facebook a couple of days ago, she commented on it saying how funny it was (she usually doesn't ever like anything I post, never comments either so I found it to be weird). Then, we worked together that night, she called me over to tell me how funny it was (which was weird of her again, she hasn't been this engaging with me since the last time we were in 'contact' which was a little over 2 months ago). I pretty much ignored both of her attempts at engaging me, sticking to full blown NC. I'm not sure why all of the sudden she would try to be so engaging with me. She seems to have gotten the point now, though. She's gone back to pretty much ignoring me. I saw her earlier today and she didn't even look in my direction or say anything. I honestly feel bad for doing this because I wanna be friends with her eventually (pathetic right?). I guess I'm just feeling extra bad tonight because she seems to have realized that I don't want to talk to her. I hate that I feel bad for doing this..I shouldn't feel any remorse at all. I could really use some support from my fellow LS'ers tonight.
Sugarkane Posted April 11, 2013 Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) It makes me laugh when they complain about having no one. Yet just threw away a relationship. Usually without very little reason. Why are dumpers so illogical? Edited April 11, 2013 by Sugarkane 4
Author Derpderpleton Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 A little update on this. Apparently she posted something on Facebook about me after I ignored her that day at work. I'm just now seeing this today, because I don't stalk her page and I got curious. She didn't directly use my name, but she said "I was just trying to be nice, but whatever, be a douche bag". Funny how I'm suddenly the bad guy. I haven't been posting anything about her or talking negative about her whatsoever for that matter. I've just been focused on overcoming this, nothing else. She's the one that's been all over social media with this whole thing, indirectly bashing me for no apparent reason. She didn't seem to care if we stayed friendly before, why would she care now? Whatever..
ThorntonMelon Posted April 13, 2013 Posted April 13, 2013 Again, you have to decide whether or not you care what the feelings of someone who broke your heart are. That's up to you, thats not her. You control you, not her. Let her be outraged, who cares. You can block FB and find people to spend time with not related to her in any way.
Author Derpderpleton Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I gave in and stopped ignoring her..I couldn't help it. I was sitting alone in the break room, she came in there to grab something, said hi to me, commented on the jacket that I was wearing, blah blah blah. This was a little over a week ago, ever since then the mood has been much lighter between us at work. It's still awkward, but not definitely nowhere near as bad as it was when I was ignoring her. A few days ago when we worked together, towards the end of the day we were just joking around with each other. To me, it seemed like we were flirting, of course I didn't say anything to her about it though. I never bring up anything related to our relationship, or anything that could give her the idea that I miss her. She's always the one that initiates these interactions with me. I never go out of my way to initiate conversations with her. Ever since that day, I've gone back to missing her more than usual. These interactions we sometimes have gives me false hope that, somewhere deep down, she misses me too, even if it's just a little bit. I know this isn't true though. If it were, she would have came back to me by now. That's another thing that sucks. She's been trying so hard to find another guy, she still hasn't found one, I'm still here, but she'd rather keep searching through the pile of douche bags out there. I was ignoring her mainly to distance myself from her. I didn't want to get close to her again, only for her to get another guy and toss me aside like I never existed. Why is she going out of her way to be friendly to me all of the sudden if she has no intention of being with me again? I'm really feeling down tonight, my thoughts are keeping me wide awake so I just thought I'd better get them out. Thanks for reading...
RiceaRoni Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 A little update on this. Apparently she posted something on. acebook about me after I ignored her that day at work. I'm just now seeing this today, because I don't stalk her page and I got curious. She didn't directly use my name, but she said "I was just trying to be nice, but whatever, be a douche bag". Funny how I'm suddenly the bad guy. I haven't been posting anything about her or talking negative about her whatsoever for that matter. I've just been focused on overcoming this, nothing else. She's the one that's been all over social media with this whole thing, indirectly bashing me for no apparent reason. She didn't seem to care if we stayed friendly before, why would she care now? Whatever.. Ex was the EXACT same way. Slandered me all over twitter when I began ignoring him for his disrespectful behavior...I just kept on Ignoring and it eventually stopped.
Author Derpderpleton Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 There's so many things that I want to say to her that are just going to remain unsaid, because I don't want to look pathetic..been there done that. It's frustrating that I have to see her at least 1-2 times a week (sometimes more) and I just have to keep these thoughts to myself. When we first broke up she posted a status that said "And some things are better left unsaid...". I guess she was right about that..
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