cottom Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I'm 20 now, 21 in August. I went to a nightclub last thursday and met a girl who was 17 in December, i am currently texting her. However when i was 17 i was with a girl who was 15 and i was with her for 2 years. I was socially destroyed by people calling me a pedophile and that she was far too young. With this girl she is first year college (in USA that is 13th grade) while i am in my final year at university (17th grade) which is a 4 year difference, (same as my little brother) so i feel weird flirting but at the same time i feel at our age it is not too bad. I am so confused, what age rule would you people follow? I've heard the "2 year rule" thrown around but always assumed that was for younger people.
Author cottom Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 A rule i tend to think of now is: Boy - Girl 18 - 16 20 - 17 22 - 18 24 - 19 26 - 20 so i will be 21 before she is 18 so for 4 months i will be out of my scale
sweetkiwi Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Uhhhm no. 21 and 17 is NOT fine.....she's under 18. Period. 9
SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I believe it is all on the persons in the situation. If both are in emotionally able to handle an age difference, I see no issues. Again, so many factors to take in to this question.
AlexDP Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Uhhhm no. 21 and 17 is NOT fine.....she's under 18. Period. Which in a lot of countries means it's legal to have sex with her. In Italy the age of consent is 14. Yet another thing you learned. 1
sweetkiwi Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 In the country I was raised in it's 18. And unless the OP is in Italy your point is moot. 1
pbjbear Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) The thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not is not worthwhile in discussing. I currently know a perfectly fine 20yearold guy who has criminal charges against him for having sex with a girl who just turned 17. She lied and said she was 19 and changed her age on all her social media sites. When he found out he stopped talking to her but it doesnt matter. Her parents found out and are prosecuting the guy. No joke. Im not making this up. He will have to take a plea bargain to avoid getting a sex crime on his record most likely. Since it is not legal, do not even bother. Edited April 7, 2013 by pbjbear
Yookie Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Why risk going to jail and having to register as a sex offender? Keep it legal. 3
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 The age of consent here is 16. Once they get there, well, you either respect the law or you don't... (shrug) Most on this thread just don't seem to be respecting the law. (to the surprise of nobody)
Author cottom Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I live in the UK where the legal age is 16 So doing anything with her is perfectly legal. Its just opinions, so for example for you would be 21/2 and 18 over in USA. 1
Krieger Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I live in the UK where the legal age is 16 So doing anything with her is perfectly legal. Its just opinions, so for example for you would be 21/2 and 18 over in USA. What is it, the Alabama of UK ? 2
ChessPieceFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 In my state age of consent is 16 and I'm not in some backwards state. The whole "18!!!" thing is such a myth, it's based on where you live. I don't see anything wrong with a 2 year age difference. But if she's in her teens I would just suggest getting to know the parents and getting them to like you and make sure they're OK with her dating you. A little respect could go a long way in that case. But I'm old-fashioned and my respectfulness always worked against me with women so YMMV. 3
straightshooter82 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 General rule I was told as a man to determine if a woman is age appropriate for you is divide your age by 2 and add 7, with a minimum age of 18 if you're 18 or older.
Poppy fields Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Do you have problems finding women of your own age to date? If not, why not stick to them as you would probably have more in common. 1
Djz05 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Its not that the age gap is the defining factor imo. Its their level of emotional maturity. A 4 year difference when your in your late 20s or 30s is not the same as when your 20 and shes 16. Kids get too reckless, without thinking about the repercussions of their actions. Yes young adults (early 20s) can still make bad decisions, but at this point I would think you are old enough to be liable for your actions. And I dont think a lot of people will deny it, but at the teen-late teen years, it is mostly our hormones that motivate us. One other consideration is the legal issues. Now you say she is of legal age, then i wont hold that against you. As someone mentioned earlier, some countries have even younger ages of consent. If you really want a real relationship with this girl, then go for it. I knew a girl in highschool who dated a much older guy (4 year difference too, she was 14 he was 18). 15 years later they have 2 kids and are still happily married. Just dont play her for a fool and use her. The one guy I knew that did that thing to a young friend we knew got a very nice beating from us. What he did left deep emotional scars on the girl and changed her, even moving to a new city. 2
PogoStick Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Did you say she is in the Uni with you? I think the actual age is less important that the stage of life. If she's still in high school then it's 2 different worlds. FYI in the US, a majority of states have 16 for age of consent, and many with 17 or 18 have a "close in age" exemption. Also interesting is the evolution of such laws. As you may have guessed, the ages used to be much younger. Was 19 y/o grandpa a pedo for courting 14 y/o grandma? In fact grandpa may have been ostracized for waiting, "what are you gay, boy?". If morality is universal then why was it ok then but now now? We must conclude that morality is relative if we wish to accept an older age of consent today. Therefore we cannot subject other cultures to our own sense of righteousness. Yet again, I feel Americans deserve a heavy boot to the nuts. 1
sooniechan Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 If its legal I suppose its fine but as some other posters have pointed out, the emotional maturity might not be there. I'm just confused with 13th grade and 17th grade. I have never heard of anyone using that, ever. 1
Giraffe1 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 If you gotta ask this question then she's too young for you! 2
aussietigerwolf Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 General rule I was told as a man to determine if a woman is age appropriate for you is divide your age by 2 and add 7, with a minimum age of 18 if you're 18 or older. I am so not dating 24.5 year olds lol
Radu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I'm 20 now, 21 in August. I went to a nightclub last thursday and met a girl who was 17 in December, i am currently texting her. However when i was 17 i was with a girl who was 15 and i was with her for 2 years. I was socially destroyed by people calling me a pedophile and that she was far too young. With this girl she is first year college (in USA that is 13th grade) while i am in my final year at university (17th grade) which is a 4 year difference, (same as my little brother) so i feel weird flirting but at the same time i feel at our age it is not too bad. I am so confused, what age rule would you people follow? I've heard the "2 year rule" thrown around but always assumed that was for younger people. Are we talking legal or moral ? Legally, in the US afaik you would have to wait untill she is 18 or else you might end up on the sex offender's register if someone presses charges. Things might be different in individual parts of the US, you have to check. Some countries are more lax than the US [i think in mine you can have a sexual relationship with a 16yr old without legal problems]. Morally, 17yr old guy and 15yr old girl is normal. Ppl calling you pedo didn't know what they were talking about, might have been jealous or just plain d*cks. Pedophile means sexual attraction to children, before they start developing into boys/girl. That means 11 tops. Pedo's do not find a 12-13yr old with obvious breasts/hips attractive. I personally don't think a difference of 4yrs between the two of you is that much. 2
Radu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 The thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not is not worthwhile in discussing. I currently know a perfectly fine 20yearold guy who has criminal charges against him for having sex with a girl who just turned 17. She lied and said she was 19 and changed her age on all her social media sites. When he found out he stopped talking to her but it doesnt matter. Her parents found out and are prosecuting the guy. No joke. Im not making this up. He will have to take a plea bargain to avoid getting a sex crime on his record most likely. Since it is not legal, do not even bother. He shouldn't accept a plea bargain, if she misrepresented herself on social media sites. That's proof that she lied about her age, and it can be subpoenad in court. Though i understand why he's doing it, the girl -even though she lied- can get him publicly lynched.
Kaiten Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 If you gotta ask this question then she's too young for you! Not true. He's just wanting to know our opinions though. Yo dude i dated a 17 yr old and im 21. Now it didnt work out, but thats because of some totally different complications. I would say if you are going for this, it is IMPERATIVE that you talk to her parents. I dont condone the seeking out of any female solely for sexual relations, but especially not girls under 18-21. Thats just heartless! if you arent in this to be with her for the long haul, leave her alone bro. A young girls heart is more fragile than you could ever know.
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