miss_jaclynrae Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yes that double shift would have been perfect. But it didn't happen that way, because I was already a). over worked and tired, b). off some already nasty car accidents from youngin's thinking the laws of speed do not apply to them. Again, I've admitted my fault. I'm curious as to your need to consistently throw it back in my face after accepting it? Because of your buts! There it is again, the excuses. Lol
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 And it was the second date, not the first. Just in the event you glossed over that important fact. Even though we hadn't solidified anything =p
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 You've obviously never worked in a field, where there are lots of buts. Sorry fact is, in my field of work buts kill people, and are very real things. I put out the fire, BUT, didn't manage to stop the BLEVE. So yea, Steve's dead.
MoreThanThat Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I can speak from personal experience that only certain women are made to survive the nut cases that are Police, Fire, EMS and Military. We're nuts, plain and simple. I've been in relationships with a cop and 2 doctors who both had irregular hours and heavy work schedules at the time. None ever bailed without taking a minute to let me know in advance. It's not an excuse. 3
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I can speak from personal experience that only certain women are made to survive the nut cases that are Police, Fire, EMS and Military. We're nuts, plain and simple. Me to, I was married to a marine. Being in a demanding jOb doesn't give any person the excuse to be an *******. That's like saying "oh we'll my husband lost some friends to bombs so it's ok that he yells and hits me!" You didn't do the right thing, just don't do it again. 1
dave33 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 It's not like the OP said to himself, "You know what, I'm not gonna call her and cancel, just to piss her off!" He's not an *******. Jesus, can't we give it a rest? I feel like I'm at work.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 It's funny that you're comparing an apple hypothetical situation to an orange hypothetical situation: Me not calling a girl for an undefined date, equals, physical altercations. Interesting. By defining me by one mistake, as an ashhole, can I assume you're also an ashhole, for some mistakes you've made in which, I am sure you have slighted a member of the male populace?
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 You've obviously never worked in a field, where there are lots of buts. Sorry fact is, in my field of work buts kill people, and are very real things. I put out the fire, BUT, didn't manage to stop the BLEVE. So yea, Steve's dead. Lol you just added I my point, You can say you pUt out the fire but steves still dead. You can say you put out a fire, but you still stood her up, 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 It's funny that you're comparing an apple hypothetical situation to an orange hypothetical situation: Me not calling a girl for an undefined date, equals, physical altercations. Interesting. By defining me by one mistake, as an ashhole, can I assume you're also an ashhole, for some mistakes you've made in which, I am sure you have slighted a member of the male populace? **** yeah I've been an *******. I didn't make up excuses as to why it was ok. I merely moved on and made sure to not be an ******* with the next one. 1
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Sorry Dave33, but your a Police Officer. You actually work? Buahahaha. No really, I know you guys (and gals) do work. But every single time one of you pulls me over and sees the IAFF stickers on my car, you make me get out of the car and go through the entire thing. License, Registration, Where are you going? Mind if I have a look in the car? It's all jokes I know, but at the same time, you guys (and gals) have authority haha!
dave33 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Hey I'm nice to fireman...if I get shot there the one bring my ass to the hospital! haha
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Kind of calling the Kettle black then aren't you Miss? And no I did not add to your point, your point was that I use BUTS to justify. See the thing is, I can use BUTS to justify what happens in my job. the BUT in the BLEVE situation wasn't stopped because I didn't have time to, because had I stopped fighting the fire to fight the BLEVE I would also have died. BUT, it was an acceptable lose, because Steve was a civilian.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 We're not that nice to you here Dave, we'll have the probie EMT's haul your ass into the meat wagon.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Really Thomu? Really? Miss and I may disagree on all of this, but at least we're civil and respectful. Not cool man, not cool at all.
MoreThanThat Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Really Thomu? Really? Miss and I may disagree on all of this, but at least we're civil and respectful. Not cool man, not cool at all. seems to be a troll
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Regardless, attacking Miss with that kind of stuff is just mean. If it keeps up I'll just have a Mod lock this thread. Or at least request a lock.
dave33 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Wait a minute... So hitting and beating your significant other is the same as not calling to cancel a date!? Since when is domestic battery and not calling someone the same thing? I'd be putting almost every girl in every bay in jail then.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Again another reason I could not be a Police Officer. The whole, domestic thing just makes me wants to melt faces with fiery justice. I do not have the self restraint when it comes to watching some guy (or girl) beat down on their SO. So good on you, you can keep it haha!
Divasu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 It doesn't sound like the two of you had plans, so your failure to follow through was more of a "blow off" as opposed to standing her up. Whatever the case may be, apparently it hurt her (after having only a single date with her, her reaction was a bit intense). Having her friend call you to tell you off, was immature. Something similar happened with a guy years ago who I was supposed to go on a first date with and I was pretty much in your shoes. The guy did not act favorably and at the time, I felt blew it out of proportion and I tried very hard asking him for a second chance but he wanted no part of it. It totally bummed me out because we had been talking for a while and got along so well on the phone, seemed to have a lot in common, but alas it was not meant to be. Now, on to you... Accept that you did in fact blow her off. Your job is demanding and comes first, but your attitude over the whole thing is coming off poorly. The divorce rate for fire fighters is three times higher (I believe), your away most of the time and have to pay more attention to work and yourself as opposed to your family. And when you come home, you're in decompress mode so I'd imagine that it is very difficult to maintain a close, intimate relationship with someone in those types of professions. While you have to have a strong woman who can withstand that, you also need to be mindful/considerate of the stress it puts upon on her. I'm getting ahead of myself, but just trying to cover all the discussion points contained in this thread. Good luck, and thank you for your service!
thefooloftheyear Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I had to register just to reply to this thread. I'm also in public service (police), I'm sure the OP can relate to this. There's some days were I come home from work (sometimes 16 hour shifts) so physically and emotionally drained the last thing on my mind is checking my phone, making phone calls, even talking to people. I need time to cool down and get my **** together before I begin to function again. I've been burned too many times taking the job home with me. I think the only way to fully understand this is to be a first responder. If the girl didn't understand that, the relationship wouldn't of lasted long, at all. Been there, done that. It takes a special and strong women to be in a relationship with a cop or fireman. To the OP, I know it really sucks but look at it as a filter device. Like I said before, if she acted this way now, just imagine what should would do if you got ordered in on your anniversary... Sheer NONSENSE... Try running TWO businsesses at one time, then talk to me about how much free time you have...Cop or fireman?, please,,, Its a simple phone call..How the hell can anyone justify not doing and leaving someone hanging.. I dont get it. TFOY
Author SmokeRat Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 I think this is a conversation best left to those in the service at this point, as civilians just don't understand how we work, or not at the level we do. Regardless, no solid plans, and I get tunnel vision when I'm at work. Also, I'll match you two businesses and raise you the following: 24/7 SAR TEAM Technician 24/7 Confined Space Training Officer 24/7 on call Crisis Intervention Officer I'll also add the following, because I might as well: I work alternating days for an Emergency Industrial Rescue Brigade, normally do Monday, Wednesdays, Saturdays with the Fire Department. So I work 14 hour shifts with the EIRB Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. So much like you, I work seven days a week. Except, I also go days at a time with no sleep, as I'm always on call to go out and help. Add into that mix, the regular volunteer work I do with local charities, parades, volunteer fire departments and school programs.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 I'm going to stop stating this soon, because I've stated it at least two dozen times already. I apologized for my mistake, multiple times to this girl. However, all it got me was derogatory terms, racial slurs and drunken yelling. All of course, from her stand in.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I think this is a conversation best left to those in the service at this point, as civilians just don't understand how we work, or not at the level we do. Regardless, no solid plans, and I get tunnel vision when I'm at work. Also, I'll match you two businesses and raise you the following: 24/7 SAR TEAM Technician 24/7 Confined Space Training Officer 24/7 on call Crisis Intervention Officer I'll also add the following, because I might as well: I work alternating days for an Emergency Industrial Rescue Brigade, normally do Monday, Wednesdays, Saturdays with the Fire Department. So I work 14 hour shifts with the EIRB Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. So much like you, I work seven days a week. Except, I also go days at a time with no sleep, as I'm always on call to go out and help. Add into that mix, the regular volunteer work I do with local charities, parades, volunteer fire departments and school programs. But at the end of the day, you are only a small cog in the machine. If you get hurt and cant work for 6 months, do they close your department? Nope. Please dont overstate your importance, but I do thank you for your service, however. I(and probably everyone that commented on this thread except the cop), cant fathom any excuse for not making a simple phone call/text. Heck, even if you know the crap "could" hit the fan when you got the call, couldnt you have at least called or texted her on the way in? Say something to the effect that "I might not be in a position to call and this is what I am up against, etc"... Common courtesy, thats all. Many of my cousins are cops and firemen and knowing them the way I do I highly doubt they would back you on this. TFOY 1
Author SmokeRat Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 This is the 14th or 15th (?), time I have stated that I apologized and owned that I could have. I will not reiterate this point any further. Every department is different, every firefighter is different. Some like me, make firefighting their life. It isn't just career, it's a way of life. I live, breath and sweat everything to do with it. It's an all consuming career, hence why I do everything I feasible can outside of my scheduled shift to apply myself into different fields of Fire and Rescue. I already said my excuse, tunnel vision. I get it, I hyperfocus on the task at hand.
Author SmokeRat Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 And I would also like to point out, that running two businesses is in no way shape or form, an easy task. I have more buddies that do what you do, and they are constantly pulling their hair out over those ever so lovely clients, that demand everything at once and still complain. So hats off to you sir, I will avoid that crowd!
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