First Date Nightmare

April 7, 2013

The point is that right now, you're the "interesting " individual and likely to attract the same. Train wrecks.

Why not just join a co Ed bowling league, I know it sounds lame but honestly, that's the speed you should be going right now.

April 7, 2013

they didn't even have firm plans. he didn't do anything wrong. females, shows why they are good for screwing and not much else. go head call me a chauvist. I get called that a ton but I also get a ton of hot chicks.

Sounds like you and your hot chicks are a low self-esteem match made in heaven...

April 7, 2013

I love bowling.

We have a mini lane in the fire hall, so I can spend some time there.

I'm one of those 'bowlers' that has the hand and form down, but is still horrible. Also off topic haha.

I do get where you are coming from though, as I suppose I am an 'interesting' individual.

April 7, 2013

Stop trying to justify yourself.

You ****ed up, she was immature and didn't handle it well.

You dodged a bullet, but learn from your mistake dude.

She probably spent all night waiting.

You could have messaged, called... something. Lol

Just don't do it again.

April 7, 2013

This is the classic difference between men and women. I really can't think of many circumstances in which it would be acceptable to not communicate at all. A text takes 30 seconds. Given your excuse is better than most, it's still just 30 seconds...

Her reaction was a bit ridiculous but it doesn't put you in the right...

April 7, 2013

Not trying to justify, simply stating the facts. Our lovely resident Blue Canary summed it up proper:

it's takes a very special person to be a long term partner of someone in the Emergency Services.

Because truth be told, we aren't all there =p.

I'll make sure to tell my Chief next time, when I'm cutting someone off the floor because their skin fused with the wood fibre, "F$%k, Chief I need a break I have to make a call to a girl that I totally forgot to call about a potential date this evening."

See that? Yes, that's my career getting jammed into a desk job at headquarters. =p

But I get your point as well.

April 7, 2013

t takes a minute to let someone know - regardless of the circumstances.

I'm going to have to disagree with this one. There's some situations where you can't just pull your phone out (ie. a working fire with fatalities). If I get a call of crash with injuries, I'm not going to be on my cell phone confirming a date as I'm doing 100 things at once. AND, if I was texting or talking on my phone, I'm sure a lovely citizen driving by would call the mayor's office complaining that "I'm not doing my job".

Maybe if the FD got there a little quicker, I'd have time (sorry had to throw that one out there smokerat haha).

But in all seriousness, if you can't seem to grasp that concept, then go date a 9 to 5 big wig in some office building, not a guy running into burning buildings.

I'm not trying to start an argument here or anything, but it's a valid point.

April 7, 2013

And it should be noted, once again, that I made every effort to apologize.

However, after the stand in tore three new holes into my head, it was hard to be as sympathetic to the jerk move I innocently pulled.

April 7, 2013

"Maybe if the FD got there a little quicker, I'd have time (sorry had to throw that one out there smokerat haha)."

That's ok, you Blue Canaries always let us know when there is a Methane or Natural Gas leak near by, because you park so damn close to it.

We just sit back with our Binoculars and Beer and wait for you to start dropping =p.

April 7, 2013

Not trying to justify, simply stating the facts. Our lovely resident Blue Canary summed it up proper:

it's takes a very special person to be a long term partner of someone in the Emergency Services.

Because truth be told, we aren't all there =p.

I'll make sure to tell my Chief next time, when I'm cutting someone off the floor because their skin fused with the wood fibre, "F$%k, Chief I need a break I have to make a call to a girl that I totally forgot to call about a potential date this evening."

See that? Yes, that's my career getting jammed into a desk job at headquarters. =p

But I get your point as well.

I'm still hearing excuses.

Stop with the self pity, yeah yeah, your job is demanding, no one is saying while you were fighting a fire you should have paused in the flames to call her.

As soon as you got home from that first gift you should have given her a heads up.

This is coming from a woman who dating a man who was with a military man. Now I you were in afghanistan and had no means of contact at all it would be different.

You went home, and you has your phone, a text to cancel would have taken ten seconds mister.

I'm going to have to disagree with this one. There's some situations where you can't just pull your phone out (ie. a working fire with fatalities). If I get a call of crash with injuries, I'm not going to be on my cell phone confirming a date as I'm doing 100 things at once. AND, if I was texting or talking on my phone, I'm sure a lovely citizen driving by would call the mayor's office complaining that "I'm not doing my job".

Maybe if the FD got there a little quicker, I'd have time (sorry had to throw that one out there smokerat haha).

But in all seriousness, if you can't seem to grasp that concept, then go date a 9 to 5 big wig in some office building, not a guy running into burning buildings.

I'm not trying to start an argument here or anything, but it's a valid point.

Oh god, really? I don't know anyone other than deployed men that literally can't take 10 seconds to respond to a text. And if you can't, then maybe you shouldn't be dating.

April 7, 2013

Totally get where you are coming from, and I've been the first to say, 'yes I should have done something to give her a heads up', however, I'll stop you after that.

Sometimes after a call, I'm not right in the head. Maybe it was a car accident involving a child, maybe it was a 'crispy' we needed to chisel off the floor. Sometimes I just need to come home and sleep, especially after 48hrs of constant gogogo. Followed by another 24hrs of gogogogo.

I've been in the military Miss, I know the life style, and anyone who is anyone in the military would never draw that comparison. Police, Fire, EMT's and Military. We're all one giant family, and never look down on the other, as if Fire is better than Policing, or Military is more noble than EMT.

I'm going to give you a date to remember to set up, then I'm going to call you after three days of sleep deprivation and tell you this:

"we have a 4 story house fire, black smoke, limited flame. windows are intact, no signs of lights. Neighbours say single mother with three year old child live alone. No response to yelling. Time of fire, dated 15 minutes ago, Class IV housing."

You know what goes through my head at that very second. F%^K me, there is a child in that house. F%^k Me, F%^k me F%^k me. And that goes on until you put that child in a body bag and wonder what the f^&k is wrong with this world that child can be taken that easily.

Oh yea, and afterwards remember to call about that date that was never really set in stone.

Go.

April 7, 2013

But I get it =p.

Next girl is going to get my fire schedule for the year, along with all the dates that they can call me in (which is every single day).

I think I'll set up an automated message the turns on, on the days I get called in and on my scheduled shifts that says:

I'm currently on duty at the fire hall, apologies if I've missed anything we were supposed to do, or I missed calling you.

April 7, 2013

I'm still hearing excuses.
Stop with the self pity, yeah yeah, your job is demanding, no one is saying while you were fighting a fire you should have paused in the flames to call her.
As soon as you got home from that first gift you should have given her a heads up.

This is coming from a woman who dating a man who was with a military man. Now I you were in afghanistan and had no means of contact at all it would be different.

You went home, and you has your phone, a text to cancel would have taken ten seconds mister.

Oh god, really? I don't know anyone other than deployed men that literally can't take 10 seconds to respond to a text. And if you can't, then maybe you shouldn't be dating.

I understand where you're coming from. Believe me, if I was in the girls position, would I have been a little upset? Of course. But like someone stated before in this thread, you'd think after a little explanation by the OP she'd understand; apparently not.

Obviously, the whole point of dating is to determine if another person is compatible with you right? That being said, I think this incident showed both parties that there was no compatibility. Different women are going to react in different ways, that's human nature.

This career isn't a job, it's a lifestyle. It may take a significant other sometime to get to used to it, I know, but what this girl said was ("biggest piece of **** in the world") completely uncalled for and extremely immature.

I'm not trying to cause a huge argument, I'm just trying to explain the mentality behind what I'm saying.

My advice to the OP, move on and find someone else that understands the job.

April 7, 2013

Done and done.

It is a lifestyle, one that I love dearly.

Again, (and again, and again), I have apologized to this woman and I do feel bad that I may have kept her hanging for the evening.

I've made every possible attempt to rectify the situation, but was assaulted (verbally) by her stand in. Kind of hard to top that.

Will it happen again, I'll try my best to make sure it doesn't. But hey, my Uncle is a firefighter as well, and I cannot count the times he's missed his kids birthdays, his wifes deliverance of his children (his missed two so far), his wife's birthdays / anniversaries (hence why she has so many shiny rocks on her fingers).

It comes with the territory. Police, Fire, EMS, Nurses, Doctors and Military. We will miss important stuff, we cannot help it.

April 7, 2013

Sometimes after a call, I'm not right in the head. Maybe it was a car accident involving a child, maybe it was a 'crispy' we needed to chisel off the floor. Sometimes I just need to come home and sleep, especially after 48hrs of constant gogogo. Followed by another 24hrs of gogogogo.

Well said. You have to remember, we're normal (if you want to call us that) people too. Imagine how seeing something like that effects the way you think? I've seen my fair share of suicides, etc. It messes with your head, not long term, but enough to make you to just chill out and talk to no one for a little bit.

I wouldn't say stuff like that doesn't affect us, it does, but we just have coping mechanisms we have that help us.

Put yourself in the OP's shoes, how would you feel that day? The only thing on my mind is going to be that call. Especially when there's a fatality. There's always that question that's going to run through your head, "What could I have done different? If I had gotten there soon would there be any fatalities?"

Thoughts like that take up 101% of all mental capacity for days, sometimes weeks for some guys.

Just try to put yourself in his shoes.

April 7, 2013

Done and done.

It is a lifestyle, one that I love dearly.

Again, (and again, and again), I have apologized to this woman and I do feel bad that I may have kept her hanging for the evening.

I've made every possible attempt to rectify the situation, but was assaulted (verbally) by her stand in. Kind of hard to top that.

Will it happen again, I'll try my best to make sure it doesn't. But hey, my Uncle is a firefighter as well, and I cannot count the times he's missed his kids birthdays, his wifes deliverance of his children (his missed two so far), his wife's birthdays / anniversaries (hence why she has so many shiny rocks on her fingers).

It comes with the territory. Police, Fire, EMS, Nurses, Doctors and Military. We will miss important stuff, we cannot help it.

You are a lost cause.

How hard is it for you to say: "I should have told her I was going to cancel."?

If you keep this mindset about your job you are going to have a hard time dating.

It is difficult transitioning from being married to dating, I know, I had to do it.

You don't get the job pity card from me, I was married to a man who was gone for months at a time, I still think you ****ed up, and if anyone gets what it's like to be with someone who is in a demanding job, it's me.

April 7, 2013

Done and done.

I cannot count the times he's missed his kids birthdays, his wifes deliverance of his children (his missed two so far), his wife's birthdays

I've had to work my birthday. What kinda **** is that!?

April 7, 2013

Not to mention that after your first double shift of the weekend you should have let her know.

Dot act like you worked that long and were still planning on seeing her Sunday. The shift where you had the fatalities was too late to cancel anyways, so the whole "after two fatalities Im sorry I didn't think to call her, it wasn't on the fore front of my mind" **** doesn't make sense.

You don't cancel a date during when the date should take place, you cancel before. Which is why after that first double shift would have been perfect.

April 7, 2013

You are a lost cause.
How hard is it for you to say: "I should have told her I was going to cancel."?

If you keep this mindset about your job you are going to have a hard time dating.
It is difficult transitioning from being married to dating, I know, I had to do it.

You don't get the job pity card from me, I was married to a man who was gone for months at a time, I still think you ****ed up, and if anyone gets what it's like to be with someone who is in a demanding job, it's me.

That's a pretty broad statement to say that I am a lost cause. And a rather confrontational one.

And how many times in this thread have I said, yes I messed up and apologized? Oh plenty. So your point is purely moot.

Was I asking for pity no? I was not, I was coming to this forum as I have in years past, for input from individuals who had positive things to contribute.

Since I have acknowledged my part in this entire thing, what point does it serve to continually attack me with what I did wrong?

I've admitted, tried to apologize and done all I can.

You also did not respond to the hypothetical situation I laid before you, I'll be curious to see how you would handle that fire situation.

April 7, 2013

he doesn't need to justify. she ****ed up and not him.

Lol

He ****ed up first.

I never ice said she was in the right for her reaction, I just hate how he is trying to focus solely on her and is taking no responsibility for his own actions.

April 7, 2013

Yes that double shift would have been perfect. But it didn't happen that way, because I was already a). over worked and tired, b). off some already nasty car accidents from youngin's thinking the laws of speed do not apply to them.

Again, I've admitted my fault. I'm curious as to your need to consistently throw it back in my face after accepting it?

April 7, 2013

Obviously I have to bold and underline this for you:

I MESSED UP AND ACCEPT WHAT I DID. I TRIED EVERY POSSIBLE AVENUE TO APOLOGIZE TO HER

See above please.

April 7, 2013

he doesn't need to justify. she ****ed up and not him.

That's a pretty broad statement to say that I am a lost cause. And a rather confrontational one.

And how many times in this thread have I said, yes I messed up and apologized? Oh plenty. So your point is purely moot.

Was I asking for pity no? I was not, I was coming to this forum as I have in years past, for input from individuals who had positive things to contribute.

Since I have acknowledged my part in this entire thing, what point does it serve to continually attack me with what I did wrong?

I've admitted, tried to apologize and done all I can.

You also did not respond to the hypothetical situation I laid before you, I'll be curious to see how you would handle that fire situation.

I guess what my point is that saying sorry and then adding a BUT at the end means you don't really think you did something wrong. Lol

You keep talking about how only certain woman are made for such relationship, well, any woman who gets stood up on a sec

April 7, 2013

Second date would have grounds to be upset.

Just don't do it again. Easy enough.

And I don't see how your hypothetical question has to do with anything.

April 7, 2013

I can speak from personal experience that only certain women are made to survive the nut cases that are Police, Fire, EMS and Military.

We're nuts, plain and simple.

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