Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I met this guy online and we went on our first date on Valentine's Day. He is a really sweet and genuine guy. I didn't feel any chemistry with him on the first date so I kind of blew him off the next 3 weeks. I decided to give it another shot and we went on a 2nd date 3 weeks after the first one. One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. After the first date he never fails to call or text me everyday. After the 2nd date he texts me as soon as he wakes up and would text me throughout the day. We've went out a few more times after the second date and to be honest I've lost count how many times we met after that. Thursday night he said that he was going to call me when he got home. Well he never called and I waited for him to call. This isn't something new though. He does this all the time and when I ask him about it he says he just falls asleep. Friday morning he texts me "good morning" and I called him after I received the text. I told him that I was not happy that he didn't call me back and he said that it was okay because the world wasn't going to end if I didn't talk to him everyday. After Friday the text messages never came. I texted him and he was very short with me. This morning I texted him and he never responded. I called and he didn't answer. I went on facebook and it shows that he's active and when he isn't active it says that he was active X minutes ago. I disabled my online dating profile because he said things were going well between us. He also told me that he needed to disable his because he had me and didn't need it any more. Well I created another one and when I logged on he was online and available to chat. Am I being dumped or am I just being sensitive?
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I met this guy online and we went on our first date on Valentine's Day. He is a really sweet and genuine guy. I didn't feel any chemistry with him on the first date so I kind of blew him off the next 3 weeks. I decided to give it another shot and we went on a 2nd date 3 weeks after the first one. One thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. After the first date he never fails to call or text me everyday. After the 2nd date he texts me as soon as he wakes up and would text me throughout the day. We've went out a few more times after the second date and to be honest I've lost count how many times we met after that. Thursday night he said that he was going to call me when he got home. Well he never called and I waited for him to call. This isn't something new though. He does this all the time and when I ask him about it he says he just falls asleep. Friday morning he texts me "good morning" and I called him after I received the text. I told him that I was not happy that he didn't call me back and he said that it was okay because the world wasn't going to end if I didn't talk to him everyday. After Friday the text messages never came. I texted him and he was very short with me. This morning I texted him and he never responded. I called and he didn't answer. I went on facebook and it shows that he's active and when he isn't active it says that he was active X minutes ago. I disabled my online dating profile because he said things were going well between us. He also told me that he needed to disable his because he had me and didn't need it any more. Well I created another one and when I logged on he was online and available to chat. Am I being dumped or am I just being sensitive? Amazing. I would say that he pulled a sly one on you. Nothing new here.... What amazes me is that you didn't have chemistry with him and for 3-weeks you "blew" him off. What changed for you to go back to the guy you "blew" off for three weeks? Anyway, it looks like he's now "blowing" you off....sorry. 2
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Amazing. I would say that he pulled a sly one on you. Nothing new here.... What amazes me is that you didn't have chemistry with him and for 3-weeks you "blew" him off. What changed for you to go back to the guy you "blew" off for three weeks? Anyway, it looks like he's now "blowing" you off....sorry. He was so persistent on meeting again for the second time so that's when I decided to give it another shot. On our 2nd date things went really well. I felt the chemistry with him. About a week and a half ago he told me that he told his family about me and he also invited me to spend Easter with his family, which I did. He has obviously been talking about me to them because they knew a lot and also asked a lot of questions. I thought things were going really well. I never saw this coming.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 He was so persistent on meeting again for the second time so that's when I decided to give it another shot. On our 2nd date things went really well. I felt the chemistry with him. About a week and a half ago he told me that he told his family about me and he also invited me to spend Easter with his family, which I did. He has obviously been talking about me to them because they knew a lot and also asked a lot of questions. I thought things were going really well. I never saw this coming. It certainly sounds like he's looking for alternatives. You may have appeared too clingy and demanding for him.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Girls Keep on sleeping with guys after a week or so and then be sad when he leaves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men (these creatures) like to work hard to get something, and when you give it to them so fast and without making them earn it; they simply move on to the next hard thing................. 2
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Girls Keep on sleeping with guys after a week or so and then be sad when he leaves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men (these creatures) like to work hard to get something, and when you give it to them so fast and without making them earn it; they simply move on to the next hard thing................. I've heard this many times and I wonder whether you and other ladies TRULY believe this. Do you really believe it's b/c she gave it up so easily? Do you think the outcome would have been better if she had waited a little longer? 2
JourneyLady Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Girls Keep on sleeping with guys after a week or so and then be sad when he leaves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men (these creatures) like to work hard to get something, and when you give it to them so fast and without making them earn it; they simply move on to the next hard thing................. Meh. Me and mine did NOT have sex, just hours of talking and doing a few things together. So that wasn't it. Some male creatures just get scared when they are having overwhelming feelings for a person. It's easier to say "slow down" or "step back" when they are looking for a way or a reason to not feel so overwhelmed. But taking the relationship backwards is not the way to do it. It's inconsiderate to the person you're involved with, because they have to put a hold on their emotions... 1
crude Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Men (these creatures) like to work hard to get something, and when you give it to them so fast and without making them earn it; they simply move on to the next hard thing................. Virtually no male on the face of the earth thinks like that. Women are the ones who fancy themselves a sexual prize that men have to earn. Yes, women are crazy.
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 It certainly sounds like he's looking for alternatives. You may have appeared too clingy and demanding for him. You're right! Maybe I did appear too clingy and too demanding. It just sucks because if he wanted to blow me off he could at least text, call, or even messaged me on Facebook to tell me.
Dq1983 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I just read your post and this is coming from a guy, sounds like he's interested but still playing games. I don't understand why people do this and just can't be upfront. If he's dated you for a couple of months then he likes you but is also trying to see what else is out there and this is maybe because you blew him off in the beginning. If I were you, you could do one thing or another. Leave it alone and stop calling him because he will eventually call if you haven't already confronted him about it. Or you can just call him and tell him how you feel right then and there. If he actually wants something with you then you all can talk and develop boundaries of what you're both willing to put up with or not. If he's not willing to speak with you about or doesn't want the same then just walk away.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I've heard this many times and I wonder whether you and other ladies TRULY believe this. Do you really believe it's b/c she gave it up so easily? Do you think the outcome would have been better if she had waited a little longer? Some men are only there for the sex if she waited a little bit, he could have seen she really matters, not just her body!
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I just read your post and this is coming from a guy, sounds like he's interested but still playing games. I don't understand why people do this and just can't be upfront. If he's dated you for a couple of months then he likes you but is also trying to see what else is out there and this is maybe because you blew him off in the beginning. If I were you, you could do one thing or another. Leave it alone and stop calling him because he will eventually call if you haven't already confronted him about it. Or you can just call him and tell him how you feel right then and there. If he actually wants something with you then you all can talk and develop boundaries of what you're both willing to put up with or not. If he's not willing to speak with you about or doesn't want the same then just walk away. I sent him a message on facebook basically telling him that if he wanted to end things then the least he could do is tell me. I know he saw the message because it said that it was seen a minute after I sent it and that was 15 minutes ago. He is still online and has yet to respond to my message. I told him in the beginning that I had my walls and my guards up because I've been hurt many times before. I started to slowly let my walls down and let him in and this is what he does.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Virtually no male on the face of the earth thinks like that. Women are the ones who fancy themselves a sexual prize that men have to earn. Yes, women are crazy. No, you can't speak on behalf of all men out there....There are many men who only want to have sex with ordinary girls that they don't pay money to, and then dump them the next week after they get tired of them....... Sleeping with ordinary cute girls would make a better show off stories when he's drinking with his friends ......
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Some men are only there for the sex if she waited a little bit, he could have seen she really matters, not just her body! So, please correct me if I'm wrong, but you're saying that if she had held off on the sex for a while that he would have developed some feelings, a greater appreciation for her as a woman, a human being. But, because she didn't, it's her fault that he didn't get this opportunity? I'm being a little sarcastic. Not aimed at you, but rather my own projection of the kind of guy this person is. I think that once he got, he was done. I think whether he wait one day or 2-months, he wasn't LTR material. I have sex with women on the 1st, 5th date and I don't walk after getting what I want. Why? B/c my intention was always about working on a LTR. I don't think this guy was....
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Some men are only there for the sex if she waited a little bit, he could have seen she really matters, not just her body! I think that if all he cared about was sex he could've tried on the first date when we went back to his place but he didn't. Not once did he try. Why would he be consistent about meeting again after 3 weeks? 1
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Anyway, I have to be serious now When I read your problem I remembered something I read the other day Some guys like to do those sort of things just to see your reaction. You should be cool about him not picking up the phone or replying; don't be obsessed about him! After all, you don't want to appear that you can't live without him, that will give him the upper hand in the relationship. Plus, you should always give him his privacy ...Sometimes people are not in the mood to talk with anyone!
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I think that if all he cared about was sex he could've tried on the first date when we went back to his place but he didn't. Not once did he try. Why would he be consistent about meeting again after 3 weeks? I disagree with this. You didn't feel any chemistry with him the first date. He knew this. He wouldn't have pursued sex during that date. It wasn't until he knew that you had a physical attraction to him that he felt more confident about his chances. 1
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I think that if all he cared about was sex he could've tried on the first date when we went back to his place but he didn't. Not once did he try. Why would he be consistent about meeting again after 3 weeks? Because he knows what he is doing.....If he tries on the first date, chances are that you'll reject him and he won't get anything ...No, he's so smart to do that! Those sort of guys are very patient and clever! Don't you ever underestimated them.
Dq1983 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 If you confronted him about it and he's not adult enough to respond or afraid of what you're going to tell him, then don't waste your time. Too many guys out there to be worried about someone that's not willing to invest their time into you. 2
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I disagree with this. You didn't feel any chemistry with him the first date. He knew this. He wouldn't have pursued sex during that date. It wasn't until he knew that you had a physical attraction to him that he felt more confident about his chances. I'm not really sure if he knew that I didn't feel any chemistry with him or not. I always came up with an excuse about being busy with work (which I really was) and my kids that I didn't have time.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I'm not really sure if he knew that I didn't feel any chemistry with him or not. I always came up with an excuse about being busy with work (which I really was) and my kids that I didn't have time. Was there any physical contact, kissing, hugging during that first date? If not, he got the message that you were not interested. Also, the location of the date was someplace where he wouldn't have made an attempt, right? Anyway, move on.
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Was there any physical contact, kissing, hugging during that first date? If not, he got the message that you were not interested. Also, the location of the date was someplace where he wouldn't have made an attempt, right? Anyway, move on. Yes, we did hold hands. He did have an attempt when we went to the movies. All we did was hold hands. There was no kissing until we went back to his place.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, we did hold hands. He did have an attempt when we went to the movies. All we did was hold hands. There was no kissing until we went back to his place. Crockers! Never, never go back to the guys place on a first date! Or second...until you are absolutely comfortable that the two of you are a couple. Guys who bring you to their place on the first date have intentions in addition to or other than establishing a LTR. Nothing happended then, but don't do this again. I don't care how old you are. You ladies! DON'T DO this! Crap. I have a beautiful daughter that will be dating some day and I've got things to tell her!
picaso28 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 He sounds like a little boy playing games. I feel for you. Don't waste your time trying to contact him. I believe that If someome likes you then they will respond to texts and calls etc....ask yourself if you would not respond to a txt from someone you liked? Just by ignoring your calls it shows he isn't interested anymore for whatever reason. 1
Author Unattached Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 He sounds like a little boy playing games. I feel for you. Don't waste your time trying to contact him. I believe that If someome likes you then they will respond to texts and calls etc....ask yourself if you would not respond to a txt from someone you liked? Just by ignoring your calls it shows he isn't interested anymore for whatever reason. Thanks. It just sucks going through it.
Recommended Posts