Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My ex girlfriend and I (I'm 37, she's 30) dated for 3 months and she ended it over the phone on Sunday night. I’ll call her my ex girlfriend, de facto girlfriend, woman I was seeing (she didn't want to label us, even though we were both exclusive), whatever you want to call her. As far as having fun, getting to know each other, how compatible we were, we were fine. Over the course of last weekend, she introduced me to her best friend and husband, we had dinner together, I really hit it off with them and we had a great time. Last Saturday, she and I spent the day together, with dinner and a movie at the end, and we made love twice. Since Sunday was Easter we parted ways quickly to be with our families, but sent text messages back and forth as per the usual. The last text message she sent me, 10 minutes before she called to end it was, "Awww sweetie, I love your kisses and I want a lot more of them!" Then when she called, she said she wasn't feeling what she thought she should be after seeing me for 3 months, and when I asked her why she couldn't tell me. Then she threw in that she thought I talked too much and that there was no way I could change that, which I thought was kind of strange. She started to cry, and when I asked why she said it was because she was used to having me around and was upset that I wouldn't be anymore, and also because she was upset over being mean to me when I didn't deserve it after how good I had been to her. When I asked her if she was sure if she wanted to end it, she said "I don't know!!" We haven't spoken or texted since we ended the call on Sunday, and she left it as waiting a while and then seeing if we want to be friends, talk on the phone, and see each other as friends. Do you think I'll hear from her again? Should I reach out to her? Does it make sense to tell her how I really feel about her and see if she'll reconsider? Also, do the circumstances over what transpired during the previous weekend seem odd or strange? Thanks everyone, I appreciate any feedback!
Divasu Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 So she went from: "Awww sweetie, I love your kisses and I want a lot more of them!" To: "she said she wasn't feeling what she thought she should be after seeing me for 3 months" In a matter of 10 minutes, something sounds off. How was your response after she said "Awww sweetie, I love your kisses and I want a lot more of them!" There could be a few reasons for the sudden change: -A reaction to mixed signals. Anytime I've interpreted something a guy has said or done as mixed signals, I'll start questioning things in my head (IE: Does he really like me, is he playing games with me, etc.). -Insecurity. -Suppressing negative emotions. To answer the rest of your questions, difficult to say given how fresh it is and limited information. What is her relationship history like if you know, how long has she been single. Things like that.
Author Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 My response to her last text was, "I'm glad you do, because I have lots more to give you! Then the phone call came. I had not been sending her any mixed signals over the course of being with her; in fact, a few weeks ago I worked up the courage to tell her that I love her, so she knew exactly how I felt. She has had long term relationships and most of them ended badly, a lot of them with her getting hurt. I know she had been single for a few months at least before we started seeing each other.
Divasu Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My response to her last text was, "I'm glad you do, because I have lots more to give you! Then the phone call came. I had not been sending her any mixed signals over the course of being with her; in fact, a few weeks ago I worked up the courage to tell her that I love her, so she knew exactly how I felt. She has had long term relationships and most of them ended badly, a lot of them with her getting hurt. I know she had been single for a few months at least before we started seeing each other. Is it possible her stating she didn't want any "labels" combined with you telling her you are in live with her, scared her off? Because that's what it sounds like given what you've said in this thread.
Author Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Is it possible her stating she didn't want any "labels" combined with you telling her you are in live with her, scared her off? Because that's what it sounds like given what you've said in this thread. I don't know....I told her at the end of February that I loved her, and she didn't say it back but she said she thought it was great that I told her because I was so open with my feelings. She had said that she didn't want to label us as boyfriend and girlfriend because she said she had commitment issues. It's been very confusing, and not hearing from her just makes it more confusing.
WalterSA Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My ex girlfriend and I (I'm 37, she's 30) dated for 3 months and she ended it over the phone on Sunday night. I’ll call her my ex girlfriend, de facto girlfriend, woman I was seeing (she didn't want to label us, even though we were both exclusive), whatever you want to call her. As far as having fun, getting to know each other, how compatible we were, we were fine. Over the course of last weekend, she introduced me to her best friend and husband, we had dinner together, I really hit it off with them and we had a great time. Last Saturday, she and I spent the day together, with dinner and a movie at the end, and we made love twice. Since Sunday was Easter we parted ways quickly to be with our families, but sent text messages back and forth as per the usual. The last text message she sent me, 10 minutes before she called to end it was, "Awww sweetie, I love your kisses and I want a lot more of them!" Then when she called, she said she wasn't feeling what she thought she should be after seeing me for 3 months, and when I asked her why she couldn't tell me. Then she threw in that she thought I talked too much and that there was no way I could change that, which I thought was kind of strange. She started to cry, and when I asked why she said it was because she was used to having me around and was upset that I wouldn't be anymore, and also because she was upset over being mean to me when I didn't deserve it after how good I had been to her. When I asked her if she was sure if she wanted to end it, she said "I don't know!!" We haven't spoken or texted since we ended the call on Sunday, and she left it as waiting a while and then seeing if we want to be friends, talk on the phone, and see each other as friends. Do you think I'll hear from her again? Should I reach out to her? Does it make sense to tell her how I really feel about her and see if she'll reconsider? Also, do the circumstances over what transpired during the previous weekend seem odd or strange? Thanks everyone, I appreciate any feedback! Yeah I would say just give her, her space man. Sounds to me like you may be crowding her too much but the relationship is still fixable at this point. I know when me and my fiancé broke up for a time, it was under different circumstances but still. We broke up because basically I was being too lazy, not wanting to get a job or work. I didn’t even know that, or why she was hurting me, she was working, I was not. For some people that may seem like common sense, but not to me lol I wasn’t ready to grow up it seems. So I started looking online for an answer and couldn’t really find any that worked, I tried buying the girl flowers, taking her to dinner, and generally just kissing her ass to be frank. We were only friends at that point. I came across a now personal friend of mine’s website, and she reviewed a program called “The Magic of Making Up”. After telling me about the product I eventually bought it and it changed the course of my relationship. Here is her review of it. Just passing along that help to someone else, me and my girl are now getting married after 6 years of being together and I couldn’t imagine being without her . I hope the best of luck to you man.
Divasu Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I don't know....I told her at the end of February that I loved her, and she didn't say it back but she said she thought it was great that I told her because I was so open with my feelings. She had said that she didn't want to label us as boyfriend and girlfriend because she said she had commitment issues. It's been very confusing, and not hearing from her just makes it more confusing. Of course It's confusing, because you feel one way and she feels another way. It's especially hard when you start to fall for someone and things seem to be going well, only to find out that their feelings for you aren't as strong, or there at all for that matter. It's heartbreaking. And the worst part about it, is there isn't anything you can do. So having said that, give yourself some time to get your head straight and look at tomorrow as a new day.
Author Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Of course It's confusing, because you feel one way and she feels another way. It's especially hard when you start to fall for someone and things seem to be going well, only to find out that their feelings for you aren't as strong, or there at all for that matter. It's heartbreaking. And the worst part about it, is there isn't anything you can do. So having said that, give yourself some time to get your head straight and look at tomorrow as a new day. Here's some food for thought....we haven't seen each other or spoken since last Sunday, but I just discovered that on Thursday she made a move in our words with friends game that we started before we broke up. Since you guys (women) like to be as subtle as possible, and like us to pick up on the subtleties, is there any meaning behind what she did, knowing she just could ignore our game or end it outright?
Divasu Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Here's some food for thought....we haven't seen each other or spoken since last Sunday, but I just discovered that on Thursday she made a move in our words with friends game that we started before we broke up. Since you guys (women) like to be as subtle as possible, and like us to pick up on the subtleties, is there any meaning behind what she did, knowing she just could ignore our game or end it outright? I'm not sure there is any significant meaning behind it in terms of your romantic relationship overall. She said she wanted to remain friends, so maybe the words with friends game is her way of being on friendly terms with you. At least, that is how I would interpret it to be if I were in your shoes.
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