youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 He called me and left a voicemail that said that he doesn't know why I'm ignoring him, he doesn't understand and he thinks it is childish and ridiculous. He doesn't know why the "I love you" texts from me suddenly stopped and now he understands what he was good for (sex). He said he will respect my wishes and won't talk to me anymore. Then he ended it off with saying have a good one. That was it. I don't understand because he didn't talk to me or reply to me for over a month not too long ago. So what he calls childish and ridiculous is exactly what he did to me a few months ago. The fact that he doesn't understand why I'm not talking to him anymore baffles me. And upsets me. When someone tells you that they are going to sleep with other girls, how would you feel? I cried a little when I heard his voice. It made me realize it is time to block him because that was hard to hear. It almost made me contact him, but I know that isn't the right thing to do. How come the hardest things are always the right things?
richard9 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Trust me its not childish or ridiculous to ignore him, its his lack of understanding for what you are going through that is, you are doing this for YOU not for him, he clearly cant understand that. And the fact he said this is an indication of how immature he is, it is likely he said it to get a reaction from you, well done on not replying to it! Its more of a taunt than a statement and its something you dont need at the moment, ignore it. My ex used to leave voicemails before I changef my number, im so thankful I didnt listen to one of them because it would have had the same effect it has had on you. Im sorry you had to through it, but once again see it as one of their immature games trying to illicit a responce. It may be time for you to block his number, it will enforce nc and you wont have to be bothered by him when you are trying to heal. Stay strong sonunds like you are handling it well. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Trust me its not childish or ridiculous to ignore him, its his lack of understanding for what you are going through that is, you are doing this for YOU not for him, he clearly cant understand that. And the fact he said this is an indication of how immature he is, it is likely he said it to get a reaction from you, well done on not replying to it! Its more of a taunt than a statement and its something you dont need at the moment, ignore it. My ex used to leave voicemails before I changef my number, im so thankful I didnt listen to one of them because it would have had the same effect it has had on you. Im sorry you had to through it, but once again see it as one of their immature games trying to illicit a responce. It may be time for you to block his number, it will enforce nc and you wont have to be bothered by him when you are trying to heal. Stay strong sonunds like you are handling it well. Oh I know he said it to get a reaction out of me and he almost succeeded. But I'm stronger than that. I think this all upsets him because it wasn't on his terms. He knew I was needy and loved him to death so this is a shocker to him, he never would of thought that I would ignore him. But you would think that I'd be every man's dream when he breaks up with a girl. I fell off the face of earth, so why is he trying so hard to get me to contact him? 1
Cogee Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 But you would think that I'd be every man's dream when he breaks up with a girl. I fell off the face of earth, so why is he trying so hard to get me to contact him? Completely for selfish, egotistical, reasons. Look at what he even said (you paraphrasing): "now he understands what he was good for (sex)". He wants to know that you still want him and desire him, so he can feel good about his decision. No where in his statement does he give a damn about how you feel or felt. It's ALL about him. 3
cavalier99 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yup. Block him and cut him out of your life like a cancer. This has been a long time coming. Just get it over with then cry some. Cav
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 No where in his statement does he give a damn about how you feel or felt. It's ALL about him. Exactly! And this is why I did not contact him back. I'm glad I came on LS because I almost wanted to say something to him and I'm glad I am doing the right thing by not talking to him. Hopefully he does respect my wishes and not talk to me anymore. That is what I need.
Silly24 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Completely for selfish, egotistical, reasons. Look at what he even said (you paraphrasing): "now he understands what he was good for (sex)". He wants to know that you still want him and desire him, so he can feel good about his decision. No where in his statement does he give a damn about how you feel or felt. It's ALL about him. /\/\This I dated a man for two years who I now believe is bi-polar. The last week I saw him, he as rude, condesending and down right verbally abusive. I left a day early and went home. When I got home a few days later he called an left me three drunk phone messages all stating he was ****ing and going to **** other women. Once in a while he'll send me an email stating he doesn't understand why I'm not talking with him and why I broke it off.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 /\/\This I dated a man for two years who I now believe is bi-polar. The last week I saw him, he as rude, condesending and down right verbally abusive. I left a day early and went home. When I got home a few days later he called an left me three drunk phone messages all stating he was ****ing and going to **** other women. Once in a while he'll send me an email stating he doesn't understand why I'm not talking with him and why I broke it off. WOW. Are you serious?! What is wrong with these guys? They treat us like crap and the wonder why we have moved on and not talk to them anymore. UH HELLO?!?!? Wake up and smell the damn coffee!
Silly24 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 WOW. Are you serious?! What is wrong with these guys? They treat us like crap and the wonder why we have moved on and not talk to them anymore. UH HELLO?!?!? Wake up and smell the damn coffee! Well...I now know why he's been married twice and has had several girlfriends. He's wonderful in the beginning and once he thinks he has you all to himself; the Jerk comes out. In his mind, you'd better put up with it because this is who he is! I really think he's bi-polar. CRAZY!!! And tortured...he'll be alone forever. But I'm FREE and happy
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Well...I now know why he's been married twice and has had several girlfriends. He's wonderful in the beginning and once he thinks he has you all to himself; the Jerk comes out. In his mind, you'd better put up with it because this is who he is! I really think he's bi-polar. CRAZY!!! And tortured...he'll be alone forever. But I'm FREE and happy How did you get over him? By ignoring him?
Silly24 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 How did you get over him? By ignoring him? A dear friend said to me, "From time to time, he will find a way to remind you why you left." And he does by sending mean texts or emails. I could block him, but these mean texts and emails force me to recognize who he really is and to forget all the good times we had.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 A dear friend said to me, "From time to time, he will find a way to remind you why you left." And he does by sending mean texts or emails. I could block him, but these mean texts and emails force me to recognize who he really is and to forget all the good times we had. hmm well my ex was only mean before I ignored him. No he is butt hurt and is trying to manipulate me into talking to him by letting me think that I used him for sex. I wonder if he really will respect my wishes and no longer talk to me...
Silly24 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 hmm well my ex was only mean before I ignored him. No he is butt hurt and is trying to manipulate me into talking to him by letting me think that I used him for sex. I wonder if he really will respect my wishes and no longer talk to me... He won't stop for a long while...it's fun to chase you. Some men love the chase...if you go back, the pattern will repeat itself. What did help me is I created a very long email of all the **** I tolerated and emailed it to him. He never responded. I kept it, just in case I need a reminder of his terrible behavior.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 That's funny because I just wrote an email to him but didn't send it and I WON'T send it. It was just to vent. I am not ignoring you because you took away sex. If you even can fathom that is the reason than that just concluded my decision furthermore. You told me that you were going to sleep with other girls. You told me that you would lose an erection with the thought of getting me pregnant. You went on trips to Vegas, Sedona, on a cruise, out to the bars, camping without me, and I was never EVER invited. I was always doing something wrong in your eyes. If I even dare left something on the counter, or didn't wash the dishes, or didn't put the cap on tight enough on the toothpaste, you would freak out. I was a pig in your eyes. You didn't make me feel loved even though you told me you loved me back when I said I love you. (Which I always said first) I think it was a front. I think you thought you had to say it just to make me happy, just to keep a hold on me. You never put any effort into anything. Never bought me anything for my birthdays or holidays. Never just said "you look beautiful today." You started to make me feel insecure about myself. If anything I stopped wanting to have sex with you because I didn't feel beautiful. You knew how upset I was that you were talking to your EX GF, and you didn't let that stop you. You guys didn't talk for 2 years and all of a sudden she is back in your life? Their is a reason for that. You didn't care about how that made me feel, how that hurt me horribly. Even more when you told me you would still hang out with her as if to shove it in my face that I had no say in anything. I finally had enough and that is why I stopped talking to you. You will never want what I want. We will never be boyfriend/girlfriend, we will never live together, you don't want kids and you are against marriage and pro-abortion. Thank GOD, I never got pregnant. I can't even imagine what it would've been like to be a single mom with an astray ex. How can I even be your friend, if you didn't even make me happy as your girlfriend? You really need to wake up and smell the coffee, especially if you can even think for one second that I was all about sex with you. That enough killed it for me.
Silly24 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I would send it to him. That way you can't change your mind. Break up with him all the way! The crazier the better, with the hope that he will go away forever and you can heal.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I would send it to him. That way you can't change your mind. Break up with him all the way! The crazier the better, with the hope that he will go away forever and you can heal. I think ignoring him is making more of a point. If I send that to him, it gives him what he wanted and then the ball is in his court. Right now, I have the power.
Cogee Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Never send an email response to an ex without sitting on it for some time. Sometimes our emotions cloud our minds and in a vulnerable state we say things we later regret saying. I wrote many emails to my ex that I never sent and I am extremely happy I did not ever send one. My mind is much clearer now and I know that if I had sent any of those emails to my ex I would be looking back and saying I shouldn't have.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Never send an email response to an ex without sitting on it for some time. Sometimes our emotions cloud our minds and in a vulnerable state we say things we later regret saying. I wrote many emails to my ex that I never sent and I am extremely happy I did not ever send one. My mind is much clearer now and I know that if I had sent any of those emails to my ex I would be looking back and saying I shouldn't have. You are right. That's why I haven't sent that email. But my heart hurts. I would love to be with him and for things to work out but I know overall that isn't what he wants. So why is he trying so hard to get me back in his life?
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