Just left my boyfriend over Marijuana

[LRose]

This is my first time posting, I just needed an outsiders input because I'm driving myself crazy over this.

 

I just finished my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years over his Marijuana use. At first I accepted it but it's gotten to the point where he does nothing but sits and 'chills' all day, while I literally do everything else.

 

I understand that for many people smoking weed isn't a big deal, but personally for me it is, any kind of drug is. I never wanted to make him 'choose' (pretty sure he wouldn't stop anyway) or try to control him, so I really feel I haven't got a choice. I just want to be with someone hardworking, who I respect.

 

I'm absolutely devastated at what I've done, I love him with all my heart and honestly felt I had found 'the one' in him. (He only began smoking a few months ago, since gaining a new group of friends who all smoke it)

 

I know I sound like I'm justifying myself (needed to vent as I cannot talk to my family and none of his family know about his drug use) but wanted to hear from anyone who's been in the same kind of situation. Have I done the right thing!

Edited April 7, 2013 by LRose

[MsSmurf]

I have in the past cut things off with guys who started smoking marijuana, cigars, or cigarettes. Smoking is not part of my lifestyle and I don't want to share my life with someone who engages in such a thing. There is no compromise for me so it has to end. It sounds like you tried to be understanding and flexible and you learned that you can't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you did the right thing by deciding to move on. It is not your job to change him and he isn't interested in changing for himself so there is nothing else you can do. In time you'll meet someone who doesn't smoke that is a much better fit for you, but in the meantime nurse your heartache and refocus your energy on your goals and interests.

[Sexy Teddy Bear]

So what. He smokes pot. What's the big deal? In this case, the big deal is that it's affecting his/your life. I know plenty of people that smoke recreationally (i don't, by the way) and there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you don't let it get in the way of other things, then who cares. But apparently, he is taking it too far. You are perfectly fine in leaving him.

 

My sister once had a drug problem. Her fiance gave her a choice; stop the drugs, or he is going to leave her and take the kids with him. Guess what? She stopped. If you care about him as much as you say, maybe you should try giving him an ultimatum like that. Who knows, he just might stop and your relationship could be saved.

[NervisPervis]

Good for you. You did the right thing. This coming from a pot smoker who still smokes heavily because his wife DIDN'T draw a line in the sand.

 

You did right.