Cram1660 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Hey guys, I recently split up with my girlfriend of 3 years. She broke up with me earlier in the year when she came to the same college. After a week of begging her back i went no contact for a month and she continued to send me texts and called me to drop somethings off (Ignored all except the one phone call). I allowed it stupidly, and it led to a reconcilation after we grabbed some food. Anyways, so things were amazing for the first two months. I was being a way better boyfriend making tons of plans and doing things with her. We were both VERY happy. Then the next month she started acting strangely; saying things like our personalities really clash and your the same as before (I took things a little for granted before our first breakup and was an ass at times). The thing was I knew I was not doing those things. We stayed together however, and then at a party she embarassed me in front of my friends which really made me mad. I confronted her about it when we got home and then the next day things were fine. Then all the sudden she calls me later on in the next week and tells me were done, but she wants to maintain a friendship. Stupidly I agreed to talk once in awhile, but she would try to talk to me everyday. After about a week I told her that I cant be friends with her and deleted her off of everything. So right now I'm about 2.5 weeks no contact and am really struggling with it (She has not tried to contact me). I want to be able to talk to her once in awhile about platonic things as our families were very close. But at the sametime I know deep down I want her back. So I am wondering how long should I wait to contact her or if I even should again? By the way I don't think I will ever stop loving her, we were both first loves so it makes the break-up even more difficult. I'm doing okay with the breakup however, I have already been on a couple dates. This is both our first serious relationship and I think its important to see other people. But at the same time in the long run I want to be with her. She has some maturity issues that I think dating other people would help fix. (Same with me probably haha ) Important info: - We are currently living in different cities, but they're only 45 mins away and during the summer she we live in the same city. - She has a very bad relationship with her father. She also always compares me to him for some reason which gives her a negative outlook about me.
richard9 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 The thing that jumps out at me in youre story is that she is the one that broke up with you twice, and the one who continued to text you when you went no contact, she is the one with control. From personal experience when a girl breaks up a second time they can use the threat of breaking up with you after any reconciliation to get their own way. I doubt she values the relationship as much as you do due to the nonsensical texts you recieved after the first break up, she wasnt saying she missed you and wanted you back. Do you really want to be in a relationship where she can break up with you whenever she is upset, and have it hanging over you. Take control back and stay nc. 1
enforcer Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Its oddly funny how similar your and my situation are. Except, I couldn't maintain NC for like 12 hours the second time For her too, it was her first time dating at age 24. She has a good relationship with her father, but regularly compares me to him. A bit annoying sometimes. Anyway, if you are lucky enough to go out on dates already, then I say you are on the right path brother. I wish I could be stable enough already to carve out a few dates. Keep the N.C for a couple of more weeks and she will realize the void there. If not, you will have seen a few pretty ladies by then. If you still aren't over, some books suggest asking your ex out on a coffee date and making her laugh and smile by keeping matters light... hope that helps, but as far as I can see you are doing good and deserve someone who doesn't wield this power over you
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