may_girl Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Hi guys, My ex broke up with me just over 2 months ago. Although I have struggled very much, I hope I am moving on. However one thing I can't get past is this overwhelming feeling of rejection - my ex left our 4 year long relationship for someone else. He is with her all the time now and it feels like I am a pile of rubbish compared to her, as though I am completely unimportant - it feels as though he has totally forgot me and our memories now and has replaced me. How do I see myself in a different light and get past this feeling of total rejection? I feel like this is holding me back from moving on. I ridiculously broke NC over a week ago because of it and it has made me feel even worse.
coffeebean201 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) Regardless of what the future holds, don't forget how he is making you feel today....if he turns on the charm in the future. Sounds like you had a close relationship together. Those breakups take longer to get over. Hugs to you! Edited April 7, 2013 by coffeebean201 clarify
ballycastle Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Hi guys, My ex broke up with me just over 2 months ago. Although I have struggled very much, I hope I am moving on. However one thing I can't get past is this overwhelming feeling of rejection - my ex left our 4 year long relationship for someone else. He is with her all the time now and it feels like I am a pile of rubbish compared to her, as though I am completely unimportant - it feels as though he has totally forgot me and our memories now and has replaced me. How do I see myself in a different light and get past this feeling of total rejection? I feel like this is holding me back from moving on. I ridiculously broke NC over a week ago because of it and it has made me feel even worse. I can really relate to your feelings of rejection. i broke up with my ex a year ago and the feeling of 'not being good enough' drove me to a deep depression that sometimes still catches me out The only advice i can give from my experience was time. l looked at those around me that DIDN'T reject me like my close friends and family and sought refuge from this site. I guess it really kicks your self esteem so you start to doubt your own validity. You are NOT rubbish and you are NOT unimportant, although I totally empathise with how you feel. I felt ashamed that i could not 'hang on' to my man, but one thing is he will not forget you, it would be impossible after all the memories you shared. I read somewhere that even though he has someone else it is possible that is simply a distraction from his own internal thoughts, he could just be someone for diversion, although difficult, please don't beat yourself up about it. It has been a very long journey for me, I am still going on it. This site and my friends and my son saved my life. Is there anyone you can turn to, to mull things over with? I used to send my friend ranting messages spilling out all the rage and rejection I felt especially with again looking around and seeing everyone in a couple. It hurts I know, but after months of trying to be his friend went no contact since Feb and I'm slowly starting to get the me back in me. We're all here to share your pain, hugs 3
Soph30 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 You're bound to still feel down, it's still a fairly fresh wound. But like they say, time is a healer. And although it sometimes doesn't feel like it, take comfort in knowing that one day you won't feel like this anymore. There is always always always somebody else, I sometimes get caught up in controlling a situation, and I feel uneasy if something is out of my control. But I tend to go to the mindset of "if i can't control it, then what happens is just what is meant to be". You can't do anything about him leaving you, it was a choice he made and you have to respect it and try and build yourself back up again. For all you know you could bump into the most amazing guy you've ever met next week when you're buying milk at the local store! Life is unpredictable which is scary but it's also hopeful! If everyone in the world who is dealing with rejection and heartbreak stood together there would be millions of people! You just got to remember that you are important and you deserve to be treated that way. A little tip I've always had is nothing says look how well i'm doing to an ex more than having a good body. So get yourself to the gym and work out all your frustrations, it will do so much for your mental health and also physically! Focus on you, and important things in your life i.e. work, friends and before you know it you'll be back on your feet. Hope things work out for you xx
Author may_girl Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 It is extremely difficult, I have friends I can talk to but the fact he has done this and moved on so quickly, without any contact, is so painful. Just found out he's gone away for a week with his new girl he left me for too... Urgh Feeling so down right now
fabulousgal Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 How are you finding this stuff out? Stop. Tell your friends who are telling you or whatever to not bring it up. Or stop hanging out with them. I know this may sound odd, but do you think online dating would help? I was dumped almost 2 weeks ago but jumped back out there. I have to say I feel a little more confident that I'll find someone else now after a couple dates. Maybe not NOW but sometime soon. Plus it's nice to get dressed up and have an evening out. I don't recommend getting serious or leading anyone on, but it could help a little
AKisBaked Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I agree with fabulousgal, you have to stop getting information from your friends.. I know its difficult in the beginning because your left in the dark and all you want to know is what is he up to. It was the same in the beginning for myself too.. Same thing what your going through.. My ex gf moved on to someone new 2 weeks after we BU after 3 years. I was constantly looking on FB, asking my friends to update me and everything but every time I looked at her stuff I got more upset and angry with the whole situation.... I was upset too how could someone you've been with for so long just drop you like this and move on like nothing happened and not even care? And when you have mutual friends who know who you are also but they acknowledge your ex's pictures and comment on how "cute" and "such a nice couple" they are together and totally neglect that you ever existed. F*cking pisses me off. But I think what you need to do is just get off social media and really try to not ask your friend about what's going on with your ex. Because the more you know the harder to give yourself acceptance to move on in life.
Author may_girl Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Yeah, I agree I was wrong to hear that out...but now after hearing it, it makes me realize how careless and heartless he must be. To live his life normally as though I never existed. What a complete ****. I hope this is the last straw and now I can finally realise how horrific he is and now hopefully, after knowing this, it will help me move on. Maybe hating him is the secret to this one, as I have been blaming myself since the break up
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