troilus Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My girlfriend and I broke up about two month ago. Before that, she was travelling for two months while I was at work. I joined her for a week in her itinerary where we had a good time. After the breakup, we had no contact for some weeks, but recently, we met twice and slept together. I found out that she is dating again - but also that I am still in love with her. Some background: I am 27, she is 23. We were together almost two years but didn't live together as she studies in another city. So we met mostly on weekends. I am usually an emotionally cold person; something she hated and also let me know on many occasions. However, things were always good when we met, but I'm a sucker with texts and phone calls. I feel like slipping into a major depression right now affecting all parts of my life - work, eating (lost 10 pounds), sleeping (can't sleep till 12pm, can't sleep past 6am) etc. Sunday afternoons are the worst. My friends tell me to avoid any contact which seems to be the right way to overcome this period. But in my stupid head, I am fixed on the idea to fight for her since she doesn't avoid me (yet). This hurts even more as I could have had a chance two months ago but what now seems like a lost cause (regrets, I guess). Everyone has ups and downs, but I feel my downs are deeper than other peoples. Any thoughts, advice? Do I need to be alerted?
january2011 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I agree with going NC. She's dating other guys rather than keeping herself free for you to try again. And unless the circumstances that caused the breakup have changed, it's unlikely that a second go-around will work. I'd focus on injecting more activity into your life. Take on a physical hobby or a sport that requires you to get out of the house rather than be left with your own thoughts. Perhaps join a meetup group that requires you to meet new people and do/try new things at the weekends/evenings. Fill your life with activity so that you realise that your world is a lot bigger than just you and your ex. If after all this and six months have gone by without any contact and the moods continue to bring you down, then speak to your healthcare provider.
TheFriend Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 The deep lows were awful for me. I couldn't eat or sleep with out ambien. I lost 25 lbs and was a wreck. Over time you will get through the extreme lows, but it does take time. You can think about the what ifs over and over but it will only make you more depressed. I recommend talking to a councilor it helped me so so much. I really don't know what I would have done if i hadn't. It is possible to have lower lows then others. It all really depends on your brain chemistry. Check out this article Addicted to Love? It's Not You, It's Your Brain All i can do is promise you over time it will get better. I used to read comments and think yeah right.... But it really has. The gut punch feeling is really not there anymore when I think of her. I still think about her all the time but its not like it was. You will get through this i promise.
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