tbf Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I wouldn't be awkward so it would be fun!!Then you don't fit the criteria that I outlined. 2
RedRobin Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Personally, I really don't know if I could do those things or not...it's one of those "Cross the bridge once you get to it" kind of situations. She prefers someone local, but to be honest, with what I hear from my friends about her, and how she's kind of a minor celebrity that comes from a big family name...when she is out and about she runs into a lot of people she knows. She might be stuck being single for a while, if she's only sticking to her area. I know the feeling... She may be very careful about who she associates with and gets close to. If you aren't up for some careful screening, then don't bother. The good news is that she isn't going to make enemies easy either. You can probably be a complete douch-bag, and she would not say so to your face. You'd just never get anywhere with anyone she knows and who trusts her. Do some careful self-selection if you aren't up to the task. Yep.
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Right, and that's understandable and fine. But for quite a few things I would invite a man to, black tie is required or expected ...and I would just hate to have to explain that. I would feel like a jerk and he would be put on the spot. Plus, a rented get up just doesn't fly. So, it's an issue. I'm great with casual , but a serious date has to be able to do "5 star" and black tie , for me anyway, is part of that. I know it sounds pompous, but it's a logistic. I have similar obligations. I don't need a man who is comfortable in those situations. I know plenty of higher up married men whose wives don't participate and no one bats an eyelash. If my partner didn't like those events... he'd have to be ok staying home and letting me enjoy them.
Star Gazer Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 She mentions she's very multi-faceted due to her P.R. lifestyle. She can do both 5-star events, to just hanging out at dive bars. Basically, wants someone who go from classy to the other side of the coin. You just described me and every other well-rounded woman out there. From Tough Mudder in the morning to red carpet at night, that's me. 1
2sure Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I have similar obligations. I don't need a man who is comfortable in those situations. I know plenty of higher up married men whose wives don't participate and no one bats an eyelash. If my partner didn't like those events... he'd have to be ok staying home and letting me enjoy them. Exactly, but then you have to have the conversation that hey, youre welcome to come but you have to rent a tux. I can't even imagine having to have that conversation, how do you go about that? It would be too awkward.
Author irc333 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 I know the feeling... She may be very careful about who she associates with and gets close to. If you aren't up for some careful screening, then don't bother. The good news is that she isn't going to make enemies easy either. You can probably be a complete douch-bag, and she would not say so to your face. You'd just never get anywhere with anyone she knows and who trusts her. Do some careful self-selection if you aren't up to the task. Yep. Yeah, I was figuring, since she lives close...if it doesn't work out...I'm sure she's open to a networking friend and she may know some single ladies. lol
Author irc333 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Seems her Facebook page consists of mostly "networking" type groups, political affiliations or local businesses. Not even celebrity fan pages.
Emilia Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I'm not big on people who stay in the same place just to be a big fish in a little pond. If that's what a person wants for themselves that's fine but I probably would not find them to be compatible with me. Or interesting enough, to be honest. I could like this a hundred times. You have your moments amaysngrace 1
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Exactly, but then you have to have the conversation that hey, youre welcome to come but you have to rent a tux. I can't even imagine having to have that conversation, how do you go about that? It would be too awkward. Well, this would be no different than any other new activity If he's a positive, outgoing guy who likes trying new things, you could introduce him to this side of your life much like he might introduce you to, oh I dunno... backwoods camping... The idea is that it be a positive experience for him. Investigate a few local tux rental places and find out what their policies are, the cost, etc... So when you tell him that he needs to find a tux, you'll be ready with the info. Heck, you might even go with him and say "you would look SO HOT in a tux... can I come and watch?!!" If money is an issue, you might suggest paying half the first time. Then if he likes these kinds of things, he can invest in his own later on. 1
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I'm not big on people who stay in the same place just to be a big fish in a little pond. If that's what a person wants for themselves that's fine but I probably would not find them to be compatible with me. Or interesting enough, to be honest. Not sure how you would come to this conclusion about this person. Maybe she has family and friends nearby. One of the unfortunate outcomes of being good at what one does and passionate about it.. is that they sometimes becomes well known publicly. Not everyone finds it appealing... but they love their work, so they tolerate the public side of it. Which these days... is much more onerous that it was in days past. I agree that you wouldn't be compatible with people like that though... if you assume that everyone in the public eye is there for an ego boost.
carhill Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 IMO, no different than expecting my socialite date to have a firesuit and a helmet of her own to strap into the race car with. The uniforms (tux and firesuit) go with the territory. I don't see any issues. If a man can have a tailored suit (my dad had many) he can have a properly fitted tux for formal occasions. If the couple otherwise enjoys synergy, clothing is superfluous. Is this someone you could keep up with? That works both ways, as relationships aren't a one-way street. Sure, no problem. Tux and Paris for dinner, check. I'll go make reservations. 3
amaysngrace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I agree that you wouldn't be compatible with people like that though... if you assume that everyone in the public eye is there for an ego boost. I never said anything about people in the public eye needing an ego boost. I was speaking of those who have never branched out into unfamiliar territory because they take comfort in the false sense of security that a life like that provides where it is merely just a matter of chance mixed with a lack of growth. You know the type I'm sure. Those who have never really had to prove themselves because they are accepted just by existing. And the ones who accept them are living under the very same circumstances. No. That doesn't impress me. 1
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I was speaking of those who have never branched out into unfamiliar territory because they take comfort in the false sense of security that a life like that provides where it is merely just a matter of chance mixed with a lack of growth. You know the type I'm sure. Those who have never really had to prove themselves because they are accepted just by existing. And the ones who accept them are living under the very same circumstances. No. That doesn't impress me. Unfortunately, the description above applies to all of us in some area. ...but to your point, yes, I do come across people who have made it more or less on their family name and not so much on their hard work. It is frustrating and a bit annoying... One of our recent past presidents come to mind. but the annoyance subsides when I am forced to remember all of the people who have blessed me with their time and energy over the years... and the breaks I've gotten due to no effort on my part... like where I was born (the US) and that I'm white. So all of us have been given breaks of one kind or another. Everyone is obliged to do the most with what they were born with. I can't resent them for that.
RedRobin Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Congratulations on owning a successful car dealership in Nowhere Midwest, USA and having enough money to party in the Viagra Triangle....now get the eff out of the street before I run your dumb hillbilly-tourist ass over. Now that's funny!
Author irc333 Posted April 12, 2013 Author Posted April 12, 2013 You're right, overall. The problem for me is when people assume that their relevance and status and importance extend beyond the borders of their small town. Mainly because they then come to my city and walk around like they own the place. Congratulations on owning a successful car dealership in Nowhere Midwest, USA and having enough money to party in the Viagra Triangle....now get the eff out of the street before I run your dumb hillbilly-tourist ass over. Small town big shots are so annoying. Especially if they're coattailers. Funny thing, one of her FB comments expressed how this woman is signing autographs after a high school football game.
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