Cinderella01 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I need advise pretty pls. I have been in a relationship for more than a year now. Now suddenly for the past month he doesn't kiss me and making love is something of the past. I have spoken to him about this, because he is taking every thing away from me that is special. I don't know how to handle it anymore. I feel soooooo unhappy, but yet, he is happy?
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I need advise pretty pls. I have been in a relationship for more than a year now. Now suddenly for the past month he doesn't kiss me and making love is something of the past. I have spoken to him about this, because he is taking every thing away from me that is special. I don't know how to handle it anymore. I feel soooooo unhappy, but yet, he is happy? What does he say when you ask him about this? A sudden change like this could mean that he's having an affair and/or he's beginning to detach from you.
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 What does he say when you ask him about this? A sudden change like this could mean that he's having an affair and/or he's beginning to detach from you. First off, than you for replying. He has many excuses. One day its sinus, then he says but we have been through a tough time. I just don't know but he keeps on assuring me that he loves me. Over the phone he always can't wait to see me, but when he is with me, he's got nothing to say to me. I tried breaking up with hom last week because of this but he doesn't want that. I'm at my witts end and cries easily because of this.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 First off, than you for replying. He has many excuses. One day its sinus, then he says but we have been through a tough time. I just don't know but he keeps on assuring me that he loves me. Over the phone he always can't wait to see me, but when he is with me, he's got nothing to say to me. I tried breaking up with hom last week because of this but he doesn't want that. I'm at my witts end and cries easily because of this. People sometimes tell you that they love you to keep you reigned in. To keep you close until they are ready to let go. When you are together, do you ask him then? And he says nothing? Have you tried making any sexual moves when you are together? 1
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 People sometimes tell you that they love you to keep you reigned in. To keep you close until they are ready to let go. When you are together, do you ask him then? And he says nothing? Have you tried making any sexual moves when you are together? Yes, he was with me for the weekend and I asked him if he isn't afraid that his behaviour to out relationship will be irrepairable if he goes on like this - he just kept quiet. (If the spelling is wrong sorry, I am actually afrikaans). No I don't try anything with him, because I ma afraid of the rejection, sometimes his words really hurts me. A previous time this happaned (this situation) and I tried kissing him - boy what a mistake, I just wanted to cry.
soccerrprp Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, he was with me for the weekend and I asked him if he isn't afraid that his behaviour to out relationship will be irrepairable if he goes on like this - he just kept quiet. (If the spelling is wrong sorry, I am actually afrikaans). No I don't try anything with him, because I ma afraid of the rejection, sometimes his words really hurts me. A previous time this happaned (this situation) and I tried kissing him - boy what a mistake, I just wanted to cry. Cinderella, Don't worry about your spelling. BTW, goeiedag. Is that right? I lived in Botswana years ago for a few years and visited South Africa on numerous occasions. Anyway, it sounds like he's lost interest in building on the relationship. Indifference is a tell-tell sign of that. Sorry. 1
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Cinderella, Don't worry about your spelling. BTW, goeiedag. Is that right? I lived in Botswana years ago for a few years and visited South Africa on numerous occasions. Anyway, it sounds like he's lost interest in building on the relationship. Indifference is a tell-tell sign of that. Sorry. Thank you, you confirmed everything that I was thinking. Baie baie baie dankie for writing and giving your opinion. X0x0x0x0x0x0
FitChick Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 How old is he? Is he overweight? Age and being unfit can hinder a man's sex drive. Does he work? Is he in debt? He could be very depressed. However, if he won't tell you, you can't help him so just think about yourself and move on.
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 How old is he? Is he overweight? Age and being unfit can hinder a man's sex drive. Does he work? Is he in debt? He could be very depressed. However, if he won't tell you, you can't help him so just think about yourself and move on. morning Fitchick, he is my age, not overweight and I asked him if he is depressed or stressed and he said no. you know, the making love does bother a bit, but what hurts the most is not kissing at all - it is as if I am his sister. I told him last night we need to take a break because i am hurting because of this.
Noproblem Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I don't care if he sleeps with you every day or once a year If he is taking away everything special to your heart You must leave him before it's too late...... 1
Archgirl Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Sorry op but my immediate thought is that he is cheating on you but keeping you sweet as back-up/ because she isn't available.
PogoStick Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I would expect a cheating man to overcompensate with more sex. Lots of possibilities: medication, sickness, depression, or quite possibly the relationship is ending. You have to confront him and get serious answers. It's a problem so it has to be fixed. If it can't be solved then you have to move on. 1
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 thank you everyone!!! xx0x0x0x0x0x I really appreciate the advise kind regards Cinderella 1
ChessPieceFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 If there's no intimacy there's no relationship. And if he isn't understanding about the problem then that's ANOTHER problem. Not to be rude but ... have you gained a lot of weight? If so that might be the only possibility that you'd actually have much control over fixing. I don't suppose he's taking any new meds? Some kill sex drive ... 1
Author Cinderella01 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 If there's no intimacy there's no relationship. And if he isn't understanding about the problem then that's ANOTHER problem. Not to be rude but ... have you gained a lot of weight? If so that might be the only possibility that you'd actually have much control over fixing. I don't suppose he's taking any new meds? Some kill sex drive ... hi there, no I have not gained weight, maybe 2kgs but I am working on it. He is on new medication for his heart and cholesterol as well as Aterax, but still, that can't be why he is not kissing me? I love kissing .. I told him this weekend that it seems like he is taking his pills at 6pm (they make him sleepy) just to be able to avoid me and that I feel he can take the last pill only before we go to sleep. He didn't think much of me when I said it, but I was being truthful, because that's exactly how I feel about it.
ChessPieceFace Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 He is on new medication for his heart and cholesterol as well as Aterax, but still, that can't be why he is not kissing me? Sure it could. If any of those drugs is altering any brain chemicals it's potentially altering any of the things that control a person's behaviors and desires. Find out what he's taking and do some research on those drugs. Drug companies will never tell you the full extent of the side-effects, doctors will rarely bother to find out or inform you, but the users of the drugs will have posted about any problems on the net and the info should be fairly easy to find. Of course, maybe they are not the cause. It's just something you need to check into.
Jacob6 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I think it's really good when you can be in a relationship without sex. It shows you like them for the person they are and not just the looks.
PogoStick Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I think it's good to be in a relationship with amazing sex. Different perspective I guess.
Recommended Posts