Being Wiser Now

[MammaMia]

Knowing what you know now,having gone through the A, looking back, what would you have done differently?

[Poppy fields]

I would not have gotten married so young, and I would not have allowed us to be separated for so much of our marriage.

[underwater2010]

I would have kept my eyes wide open. Along with my ears.

[krazikat]

Knowing what you know now,having gone through the A, looking back, what would you have done differently?

 

Going thru the a has made me look at myself...yes, I own how I treated my husband for a period of time where I pushed him away.

 

When the Sex and the City movie came out, the scene with miranda where she told steve to "hurry up" while they were having sex, my friend gasped and said "omg how rude! Who would do that?"

I agreed with her, but in my head, was like "crap!!!"

I was mad about my husbands drinking issues. I didnt know how to help him. So I got mad instead. He wanted me, all the time, all hours. And I rejected him time and again and was rude about it. This is way before the a started. But when the a started, these were the things that were happening.

I wish he did not cheat. I am pissed about that. Over 4 years...that is hard to swallow.

But I love my husband so much. I know he loves me, too. If I could do anything differently, it would change how I treated him. Because I have to own that. He is responsible for his actions...and I am responsible for mine.

[underwater2010]

How about the part where she had not trimmed? That kinda hit home for me. A little punch in the gut. He now knows freshly showered and shaved means "game on"!!! lol

[dichotomy]

I often think that if (BIG crazy if and not likely) I were to be single and seeking a mate again - I would layout very early a list of my love, relationship, sexual, and cheating beliefs and "show stoppers" to any potential mate. Maybe a "ten commandments of love for Dichotomy"

 

You see, I have learned you can not assume that someone shares all your beliefs and morals and sexuality - unless you lay them all out, in detail, at the beginning or before things get serious- and give the other the chance to say "yep ! me too!" or "sorry I don't believe in some of that" or even a more open and honest "I do believe in those things, but have fallen short a few times, let me tell you"

Edited April 7, 2013 by dichotomy

[Holyoak]

Filed for divorce ASAP post D-day.

[Holyoak]

I often think that if (BIG crazy if and not likely) I were to be single and seeking a mate again - I would layout very early a list of my love, relationship, sexual, and cheating beliefs and "show stoppers" to any potential mate. Maybe a "ten commandments of love for Dichotomy"

 

You see, I have learned you can not assume that someone shares all your beliefs and morals and sexuality - unless you lay them all out, in detail, at the beginning or before things get serious- and give the other the chance to say "yep ! me too!" or "sorry I don't believe in some of that" or even a more open and honest "I do believe in those things, but have fallen short a few times, let me tell you"

 

I have thought along very similar lines. Gotta tell you however, my level of trust for humans, especially of the female persuasion is at an all time low, and I hope in time I will regain most of it. I know however, the innocence I so much enjoyed before, is not coming back and is very painful.