Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 My ex girlfriend and I (I'm 37, she's 30) dated for 3 months and she ended it over the phone on Sunday night. I’ll call her my ex girlfriend, de facto girlfriend, woman I was seeing (she didn't want to label us, even though we were both exclusive), whatever you want to call her. As far as having fun, getting to know each other, how compatible we were, we were fine. Over the course of last weekend, she introduced me to her best friend and husband, we had dinner together, I really hit it off with them and we had a great time. Last Saturday, she and I spent the day together, with dinner and a movie at the end, and we made love twice. Since Sunday was Easter we parted ways quickly to be with our families, but sent text messages back and forth as per the usual. The last text message she sent me, 10 minutes before she called to end it was, "Awww sweetie, I love your kisses and I want a lot more of them!" Then when she called, she said she wasn't feeling what she thought she should be after seeing me for 3 months, and when I asked her why she couldn't tell me. Then she threw in that she thought I talked too much and that there was no way I could change that, which I thought was kind of strange. She started to cry, and when I asked why she said it was because she was used to having me around and was upset that I wouldn't be anymore, and also because she was upset over being mean to me when I didn't deserve it after how good I had been to her. When I asked her if she was sure if she wanted to end it, she said "I don't know!!" We haven't spoken or texted since we ended the call on Sunday, and she left it as waiting a while and then seeing if we want to be friends, talk on the phone, and see each other as friends. Do you think I'll hear from her again? Should I reach out to her? Does it make sense to tell her how I really feel about her and see if she'll reconsider? Also, do the circumstances over what transpired during the previous weekend seem odd or strange? Thanks everyone, I appreciate any feedback!
MsSmurf Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and you're better off not getting sucked in. 1
outsidethebox Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I've seen it in past. They'll make love before ending it to get one last one in. Put a fork in it.
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I don't buy the she thinks she should feel more at this stage. Most people will bail by around the 3rd/4th date if they're not feeling it . Sounds like you were either a rebound and/or she's not ready to put her heart on the line yet. Given you met her friends and hit it off with them my money is on the latter. The 3 and 6 mont marks are the biggest two make or breaks in a courtship IMO so I'd say cut all ties and move on.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I think she has issues and serious issues; she is not stable! I'd tell you to forget about her; she 'll keep on hurting you without any reasonable reasons. But it's your choice....Best of luck.
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, the circumstances seem odd. I would not contact her. See if she gets in touch with you with some rational explanation of her behavior. 1
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yes, the circumstances seem odd. I would not contact her. See if she gets in touch with you with some rational explanation of her behavior. It's so odd, that I literally thought someone kidnapped her and forced her to do that call 1
Djz05 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Someone forgot to take their meds... I see that a lot at work, hot/cold behaviour just out of the blue. I'd advice yo to stay away, but if you've really fallen for her then I have no other suggestion but have a queit talk with her in the next few days.
dasein Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 No, don't reach out. If she does, get real plain real fast. Tell her she has one chance to tell you wtf is going on are you are gone for good. Then be quiet and don't say anything other than "mmhmm" and listen carefully to what she says. If she doesn't say something that equates pretty clearly to, "I made a huge mistake and hoping you will give me another chance," after she is done, say, "that doesn't really cut it for me. Best wishes." Oh, and don't accept any texts at all. Don't respond to them. Wait for a call on the phone. If she doesn't call, time to move on. Good luck.
Gottabestrong Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I know how you feel. My last boyfriend ended it after 2.5 months, literally an hour after he called to say he missed hearing my voice and was looking forward to seeing me in an hour. An hour later - instead of picking me up as agreed - he called to say that he did not want to see me anymore as his feelings waned over the last week. I went over and over in my head over the two times I saw him during that previous week to discover what I said or did that made him change his mind, or what signs I missed that indicated he was losing interest. 5 weeks later and I still can't think of anything. Unfortunately we are not alone in this situation. Go to the breakup forum on this site and you will find hundreds of stories where people were dumped out of the blue, often hours after being told by their significant others how much they loved them and how happy they were. All these posters are trying to figure out what happened, but most of them never get an explanation. My personal theory is that there are people out there who pretend and lie (maybe without bad intention) and act like they love you even if they don't really. Maybe they hope the feelings will develop eventually or return. Who knows. My advice would be to not contact her. Go to the breakup forum and read up on No Contact and read the stories other people have posted. Good luck and stay strong! 1
Vogeltron Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I learned this the same way. I am sure it is the same for men you ladies. But, some chicks are just downright crazy!!!! Sometimes they seem normal for a while but then the Craziness comes out. Sorry it didn't work out. Go out try to meet some new people then decide if it is even worth worrying about this girl.
Author Steve10775 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 I learned this the same way. I am sure it is the same for men you ladies. But, some chicks are just downright crazy!!!! Sometimes they seem normal for a while but then the Craziness comes out. Sorry it didn't work out. Go out try to meet some new people then decide if it is even worth worrying about this girl. Here's some food for thought....we haven't seen each other or spoken since last Sunday, but I just discovered that on Thursday she made a move in our words with friends game that we started before we broke up. Since you guys (women) like to be as subtle as possible, and like us to pick up on the subtleties, is there any meaning behind what she did, knowing she just could ignore our game or end it outright?
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