Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 When I was about 16 years old I had a huge crush on a family friend who is 10 years older than me. We spent a lot of time together, but nothing romantic ever happened. Well, I shouldn't say nothing because there were times when I'd be watching tv and he sit next to me on the couch and we'd end up kind of cuddling (best way I can explain it). He'd more or less just lay back so he was resting on me, but he was very respectful and never pushed for more. No kisses, no holding hands, certainly no sex. At one point he did ask if I was interested in getting a relationship going, but it freaked me out and I said no. That was pretty much the end of our friendship because of me. I knew that I was too young for him and I felt bad and awkward about the way I turned him down so I stopped all contact with him. Over the years I've thought about him a lot and I still get butterflies when I think about him. Tonight my mother and I were looking through some old photos and I found one of him. My stomach completely flipped! All of those feelings I had for him just came rushing back and I just couldn't stop staring at his pic. Nobody knows I have these feelings for him, or ever did for that matter. Anyway, now that I'm in my 20's I don't feel that our age difference is that big of a deal anymore. I'm wondering if I should reach out to him for a second chance or just let things be as they are. As I said I haven't had any contact with him for years, but he is a family friend and I've heard updates on him through them. I know that he's single (or was as of a month or so ago). He's still living at the same house with the same number so I could call him at anytime. What would you do? I've never been much of a dater so this whole scene is kind of weird to me. How would you reach out to him (if you would)? 1
Author Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 He's one of the few people who is not on Facebook. Not even online.
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 What kind of creepy 26 year old cuddles with a 16 year old? Contact him I'd you must, but don't be surprised if your romanticized version of him is just something your 16 year old brain conjured up. You might be surprised to find he is a sleazy guy now, and then. 1
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 What kind of creepy 26 year old cuddles with a 16 year old? Contact him I'd you must, but don't be surprised if your romanticized version of him is just something your 16 year old brain conjured up. You might be surprised to find he is a sleazy guy now, and then. I do think that this guy hits on young girls and "20" is old for him now
Djz05 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Call him who knows what can happen. I know 2 friends who got married to his/her partner through something like this. Old friends who just didnt seem right at first, but years later found each other again and things were right. Like that song maybe this time by michael murphy
WhoreyBull Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 What kind of creepy 26 year old cuddles with a 16 year old? Contact him I'd you must, but don't be surprised if your romanticized version of him is just something your 16 year old brain conjured up. You might be surprised to find he is a sleazy guy now, and then. I agree. Don't be surprised if you are 4 years too old for him now.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 He's one of the few people who is not on Facebook. Not even online. He is on facebook or myspace....Only with different name or different last name or very strong privacy with the don't find me option... It took me 5 years to find someone who used to chase me when I was 17...and when I found him I did nothing What's the difference, he was the one chasing me and I'm not gonna chase him now! Beside he is not my type, but I got that strange feeling that I had to find him, I had to find him!
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Call him who knows what can happen. I know 2 friends who got married to his/her partner through something like this. Old friends who just didnt seem right at first, but years later found each other again and things were right. Like that song maybe this time by michael murphy They weren't friends though. She might have thought they were, but he was just some creepy old guy trying to get some young snatch. Gross. 1
Djz05 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Yeah i kinda jumped the gun on this one. Missed the part where he hit on her when he was 26. That and the no fb thing seems creepy... But thats just me being jaded 2
Author Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 (edited) I love coming to forums to get advice, but get rediculed instead. You guys do not know him. I do. He is not a computer person. He is not online under a different name. I don't even think he owns a cell phone, but then again neither do I so if you're going to judge on these factors alone maybe I'm a psycho loser too? He's also not some pedophile either. When I said we "cuddled" it wasn't spooning or anything like that. He simply layed back and rested on me for cryin out loud. If he was a creep as you suggest, he certainly would've made a pass at me don't you think? Wouldn't he have tried to kiss me? Wouldn't he have tried to brainwash me or manipulate me into sleeping with him? Wouldn't he have known how easy it is to get MOST young girls in bed? He did none of those things. As I said, he was very respectful in that respect. Edited April 7, 2013 by Pumba
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I love coming to forums to get advice, but get rediculed instead. You guys do not know him. I do. He is not a computer person. He is not online under a different name. I don't even think he owns a cell phone, but then again neither do I so if you're going to judge on these factors alone maybe I'm a psycho loser too? He's also not some pedophile either. When I said we "cuddled" it wasn't spooning or anything like that. He simply layed back and rested on me for cryin out loud. If he was a creep as you suggest, he certainly would've made a pass at me don't you think? Wouldn't he have tried to kiss me? Wouldn't he have tried to brainwash me or manipulate me into sleeping with him? Wouldn't he have known how east it is to get MOST young girls in bed? He did none of those things. As I said, he was very respectful in that respect. Backpedal all you want, but you said this guy asked you for a relationship. A 26 year old asked a 16 year old for a relationship. Yuck! You said it even freaked you out at the time. No one is ridiculing you. Just giving you advice to stay away from this guy. But, like I said, contact him if you must. Just seems weird to me.
Author Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 If you feel that you get ridiculed when you ask for advice on forums, then why do you do it? Umm... if you'll notice this is my first thread here. How would I know this site would be full of people who jump to conclusions and post no real useful knowledge as you just did. Thanks for not helping guys. Guess I'll handle this one on my own.
Author Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Backpedal all you want, but you said this guy asked you for a relationship. A 26 year old asked a 16 year old for a relationship. Yuck! You said it even freaked you out at the time. No one is ridiculing you. Just giving you advice to stay away from this guy. But, like I said, contact him if you must. Just seems weird to me. I would've felt awkward regardless of my age. I was asked out a couple of years ago by another close friend and felt the same way. It's the friendship going romantic thing that made me feel freaked out.
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 No body is making fun of you or anything you said, it's just when you are involved with something, you can't see what others can see. For example, if we see a women got beaten by a guy, we say he is a crazy man, she explains to us that he is really nice except when he is drunk! Our ideas might be crazy for you, but at the same time; we could be right!
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I would've felt awkward regardless of my age. I was asked out a couple of years ago by another close friend and felt the same way. It's the friendship going romantic thing that made me feel freaked out. 26 year olds are not ''friends" with 16 year olds. Do you not understand that?
Noproblem Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 26 year olds are not ''friends" with 16 year olds. Do you not understand that? Some cultures find this age match is ordinary, we don't know where she lives .....
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Some cultures find this age match is ordinary, we don't know where she lives ..... I feel an American vibe coming from her, but I could be wrong. Has happened before.
outsidethebox Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 IMO call him and tell him thought of him and ask if he wanted to get together and catch up on old times. Anything less than an enthusiastic yes and suggestions to get together tell him next time you have a get together of friends you'll send him an invite (with no intention to do so). Good luck and hope it works out for you. 1
Author Pumba Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 OK... so to sum up all the great advice you've given me so far.. 1. He's a pedophile. No ifs ands or buts about it. 2. Because he's not on Facebook, he's an even bigger creep. 3. I'm a ****tard for even considering contacting him again. 4. I'm an even bigger ****tard for not realizing that the frienship we had apparently didn't exist even though I lived it and none of you were there to see it. 5. I'm a ****tard because I'm just a ****tard. Geeze you guys are real pompous asses I must say. Contrary to what you may believe, some things are not black and white. Sometimes things happen that you can't explain especially when you did not experience them yourself. I know this guy and I know he is not a creep. He is not a threat to young girls. Well, I came here for advice, and got none. I don't see any coming to me so consider my time here done. Thanks for nothing. 1
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 Your summary was a bit skewed, but I am sure that is truly what you got out if the advice. So go on with your bad self and do what you feel. Best of luck. I am sure it will work out swimmingly.
Roadkill007 Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 He is on facebook or myspace....Only with different name or different last name or very strong privacy with the don't find me option... Just saying, I'm not on any social sites like facebook or myspace, so it's possible he's not on those either. It's not that I never have or never will, but I had one ages ago, deactivated it after a year, and haven't looked back. I also disabled texting on my phone, because I prefer actually calling to texting. Might be rare, but not impossible 1
outsidethebox Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I am not on FB or myspace either. Why would I be? 1
Poppy fields Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I am not on FB or myspace either. Why would I be? To hook up with 16 year olds. Duh!
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