Bando89 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 One of my best buddies is dating a girl for quite a long time now and we got to know her friends. One of them became immediately interested in me, but since she was studying in another town (returning home 2-3 days every 2 weeks or so) and since I was not interested in a LTR, we were basically friends with benefits. This thing lasted about 4 weeks. After this period of time, that girl told me that she didn't want to continue with this friends with benefits stuff and we decided to stop it. Things were clear from the start, so no problems at all, we're still good friends The problem is that I realized that the girl I really like is another one, still from the same group. I had a bad break up and the first girl was basically someone to fill the days and have some casual sex. Now I realize that the girl I really want is her: she is exactly what I picture in my dreams. I began talking to her and asking her out: she gently declined every time. I started asking about her to the other male friends of the group, and they all wished me good luck because she never had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone and never had sex (she is 23). I started to realize that a standard approach was basically hopeless, so yesterday I went all in and wrote her a message on facebook, where I told her my feelings for her. She replied that she liked my honesty, but 1) she felt kinda embarassed that I was dating her friend 2) she is too busy with university and doesn't have time for anything else. I felt a bit sad but I replied that I was in a strange period of my life and sometimes people would just love to go back in time and change things. I also added that now I realise what I really want and that I understand her embarassment. She didn't reply... Now, I don't want to give up. I think she may be the person of my life, if I can get past her shield and her prejudices. I need some opinions on how to act now, what to do, to earn her trust and show her that I'm really worth it. Thank you guys <3
backinthedatinggame Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Give her space. You let her know how you feel. If she is the girl for you she will reciprocate. It might even take some time. I met a guy, went on a date, and then got a bit nervous and busy and didn't set up a second one. A few weeks later, realized I really did want to get to know him more, emailed him, and we're developing a great relationship now. If he kept hounding me, instead of giving me space, I probably would have never asked him for a second date! Also, you never know maybe she doesn't want to date guys if she has never shown interest in men?
KungFuJoe Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 23, never dated, never kissed a guy? Good luck with that.
ses Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 She's not interested. She gently declined you on multiple occasions, and then stated her reasons. As another poster already stated it's better that you give her space and let it go. Nothing good will come out of the situation if you continue to pursue her. She's not playing hard to get. There are plenty of single and available women out there; she is not your one and only in life. Don't limit yourself. Enjoy meeting other women and have fun.
Author Bando89 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 ses, if date other girls was what I wanted, I would not have come here to write. Actually, her friends told me that she is living with this 'prince charming' idea in her head. So I would say that she is interested in men, or better she is interested in finding that prince charming. The advice of giving her space sounds nice. Don't know if it will work with such a girl, but it's worth a try I think
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