toc200 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 So for the those who may remember my story from a few weeks back which is likely, the footnotes are here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/380398-trying-move I have moved into a new place and now the healing process begins. I truly want to be over this girl, and I have come leaps and bounds, I think, since the beginning. However I still get memories, like when I put on a pair of new shoes she bought me that sat in my closet. Or certain songs or cute sayings we had pop into my head. I often get memories of all the places we travelled to and the fun nights. So basically I'm romanticizing the hell out of what we had, which sounds typical to a lot of people. I keep going in a cycle of (mad at her->sad at my situation ->optimistic about my future->confused->thinking of what could have been). Do you guys have any advice on what to do to help break these cycles and memories? I try to think about the yelling, fighting and her shady move following BU, but I keep falling in ruts brought on by shoes and pet names... On a side note, I was talking to my mom about how depressing relationships are in this day and age. How half of marriages end in divorce. She says its because people dont try, but she also says me and my ex weren't right. Well hell, how do I know if we just didnt try hard enough? Did we give up? I could easily say today if I could take it all back, and knew what I know now, I would have been better in my faults.
BomBuns Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I've totally been there dude! You just need to go out and do things and be around people who genuinely make you happy. Don't go out to the club and party just because that's the typical thing people say will make you feel better. Do what you want and feel comfortable with, don't care about peoples personal opinions or else it'll take you even longer to get over it. Okay first off I know this will suck because you probably still care about her but remove everything she gave to you that evokes those old emotions. And you don't have to throw it all away if you don't feel comfortable with it. One time I just put everything she gave me in a box and stuck it in the closet just so I could get over it even though I didn't want to throw it away. Okay and second, your problem with constantly thinking about her and getting sad or mad,STOP THINKING ABOUT HER (and your probably thinking easier said than done, and your right) My technique for when you can't get a person out of your head is to immediately once you start thinking about them is to stop yourself and say I'm not going to think of so and so for the next 10 mins. Then preoccupy your mind with something else that is positive & beneficial. Also it doesn't always have to be time limit to stop thinking about them it can be anything. Like I would think a lot in the car and say "Okay I'm not going to think about them all the way to 42nd Street!" I hope this helps man, and yes there is good true love out there. I think too many people try to into the mindset, "I'm going to fight for this love and stick with it no matter what" too fast and with the wrong person. I read your previous post and I can tell you from what I read that girl truthfully was no good. I know it's hard to here but I wouldn't waste anymore time with her, even as a friend!! No one who truly loved you would go sleep with guys after a argument/or break up that you two had. A person who loved you would have been too busy concerning themselves with how to get you back or what to say next. Good Luck and stay positive
Author toc200 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Thanks dude! Those are really great pieces of advice. I just got off work for the next 3 days and its my B-day tomorrow. What a perfect opportunity to just be about me! Gotta love resources like LS. Was lowing a bit earlier and what a pick up! Would be amazing if people like this could meet up. There's been a few people on here who would have some rounds coming their way. Cheers
Recommended Posts