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How much does race/culture matter to you in dating?

CryForNoOne

By CryForNoOne
in General Relationship Discussion

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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Im a black girl. I've never dated outside my race before only been with black guys. If I were to date a white guy, he would have to be familiar with my culture and like the similar music and foods. Don't want to be with a white guy who thinks rap is too hood or ghetto.

 

What if it was a white guy who had rap on his ipod playlists right alongside The Smashing Pumpkins, Led Zeppelin, Fairuz, and Elton John?

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Even if they didn't, I feel a vast majority of people don't even factor in culture in initial attraction as it pertains to whether they'd date someone, especially if they've never dated that race before. It's about the looks and demeanor associated with the race.

 

But culture is in the clothes, the way you carry yourself, your haircut. A FOB Indian guy looks very different from a British Indian. You can tell the culture easily

 

I find darker skin very attractive so when I look at a man, I'll guess where he is from ie whether he is first generation, second, etc. Most Londoners can tell I think whether someone is a first generation immigrant or British born. This is something innate when you live in a melting pot.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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People nowadays are just too guilt-tripped into feeling bad about having preferences. No, not everyone wants their children to grow up looking differently, or in a different culture, or in a huge melting pot.

 

I am just saying what many people secretly think, Hokie is right about that.

 

Well for me, I don't even think about that. I'm thinking only about a woman's looks. I could care less what my children look like or what "culture" people have. To me, white women aren't that good looking. On average, as a whole. I'm sure there are some who look good.

 

And I'm a white guy. I'm just not attracted to white women...

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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If you are not white, then your statement would inherently be correct, since the woman in question would be dating a non-white man which runs contra to the original assertion.

 

If you are white, then it's quite possible that you did date someone who thought like that but just never vocalized her preferences. Unless you've asked all of them... :confused:

 

I'm half white. The woman I'm seeing now told me she likes only white guys but I guess I shattered that belief. Anyway, having personal preferences, even strong ones, is one thing, but never considering even ONCE dating outside of your race, then declaring one race the most attractive in the world as a statement of fact and not opinion is incredibly close minded and f**ked up...

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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It is what it is. I'm just telling it like it is - for me.

 

The poster getting his panties in a bunch about my preference for white LOOKS should take a long hard look in the mirror, since he as a man judges women on looks just as harshly. So when a man calls me out on having a preference for whites, I can only laugh because men judge women on looks too, yet that kind of "preference" is ok. :rolleyes:

 

A couple pages back Castle mentioned that people who don't date their own race raise a red flag. Yet here is someone who DOES have a preference for her own race, yet that all of a sudden is wrong. :rolleyes:

 

People nowadays are just too guilt-tripped into feeling bad about having preferences. No, not everyone wants their children to grow up looking differently, or in a different culture, or in a huge melting pot.

 

I am just saying what many people secretly think, Hokie is right about that.

 

First of all thanks for your honesty. I have no issue with anyone having personal preferences. My issue was really that your statement about white men was made as a declaration of fact. Word choice makes a big difference in meaning...

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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People nowadays are just too guilt-tripped into feeling bad about having preferences. No, not everyone wants their children to grow up looking differently, or in a different culture, or in a huge melting pot.

 

I don't even think it's about their children...there are certain races that just aren't as aesthetically pleasing as others. It's as simple as that.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I'm half white. The woman I'm seeing now told me she likes only white guys but I guess I shattered that belief. Anyway, having personal preferences, even strong ones, is one thing, but never considering even ONCE dating outside of your race, then declaring one race the most attractive in the world as a statement of fact and not opinion is incredibly close minded and f**ked up...

 

Well, there have been studies conducted demonstrating how certain races were perceived as less physically aesthetic than others...

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Well, there have been studies conducted demonstrating how certain races were perceived as less physically aesthetic than others...

What do you find attractive? In terms of race specifically

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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But culture is in the clothes, the way you carry yourself, your haircut. A FOB Indian guy looks very different from a British Indian. You can tell the culture easily

 

True. Which is why one may have to transcend their culture if they wish to succeed. This is just another example of those "truths" that, if accepted, one can take and seek self improvement to find success.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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What do you find attractive? In terms of race specifically

 

What do you mean? Members of each race tend to share distinct facial and body features, with causasians seeming to be the most diverse...

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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True. Which is why one may have to transcend their culture if they wish to succeed. This is just another example of those "truths" that, if accepted, one can take and seek self improvement to find success.

I don't know your exact personal circumstances but if you were born in the US, your culture is American, not Malaysian/Chinese, no?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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What do you mean? Members of each race tend to share distinct facial and body features, with causasians seeming to be the most diverse...

I'm asking what races you find attractive.

PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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I really wish i could have rode this white guy thing to some sucess makes me feel even more pathetic like a lotto ticket i never cashed in :laugh:

 

Though ive always had people think im hispanic especially during the summer when i get pretty dark and i have kind of coarse hair and a big nose so i dont look like your typical tall light haired and light eyed white guy thats the image of attractive men in the USA

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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True. Which is why one may have to transcend their culture if they wish to succeed. This is just another example of those "truths" that, if accepted, one can take and seek self improvement to find success.

 

Well they're not transcending their culture are they? That IS their culture! They are transcending their race...

Negative Nancy Established Member

Negative Nancy

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First of all thanks for your honesty. I have no issue with anyone having personal preferences. My issue was really that your statement about white men was made as a declaration of fact. Word choice makes a big difference in meaning...

 

49k was openly stating that white women aren't attractive, why aren't you calling HIM out? :rolleyes:

 

I guess it's not racism as long as the slandering is about white people... :rolleyes:

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I'm asking what races you find attractive.

 

White.

 

Well they're not transcending their culture are they? That IS their culture! They are transcending their race...

 

Well, if they are changing their traditional mannerisms, then they transcend attributes of their culture. But if they change their physical appearance, then they transcend race, as race is the attribute of biological makeup which makes you look the way you do.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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49k was openly stating that white women aren't attractive, why aren't you calling HIM out? :rolleyes:

 

I guess it's not racism as long as the slandering is about white people... :rolleyes:

 

How is this racism? He doesn't believe white women are attractive. That's not racism in in itself. The question would be why does he believe this? Are there cultural biases, misconceptions, distortions of the truth that lead him to this conclusion? If so, perhaps, but if it's just how he feels b/c he is not attracted aestheitically, then why is it racism?

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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White.

Only? That's interesting. For a different conversation of course.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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Only? That's interesting. For a different conversation of course.

 

No, not exclusively. I find that there are attractive members of all races, but I have grown up being attracted primarily to whiteys. And I'd dated all races except for my own.

Pillow Established Member

Pillow

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As a black girl, I only date black men. :love: I love black men! Go, black men! I love rooting for the underdog!

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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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49k was openly stating that white women aren't attractive, why aren't you calling HIM out? :rolleyes:

 

I guess it's not racism as long as the slandering is about white people... :rolleyes:

 

I don't think I'm racist against white people. Although I'm not a big fan of hockey. I'm pretty sure that makes me suspect in many ways.

 

Truth be told I liked this white girl when I was a sophomore in high school. That was the first and last white girl I was ever into. I'm open minded, I just haven't met any white women I found attractive. Maybe that'll change one day, maybe it won't.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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No, not exclusively. I find that there are attractive members of all races, but I have grown up being attracted primarily to whiteys. And I'd dated all races except for my own.

Yes that part I did guess

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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49k was openly stating that white women aren't attractive, why aren't you calling HIM out? :rolleyes:

 

I guess it's not racism as long as the slandering is about white people... :rolleyes:

 

You've totally missed my point even though I stated it multiple times. Let me try one more time:

 

OK:

I'm just not attracted to white women...

 

OK: I'm not attracted to anything but white guys.

 

STILL OK: I've never dated a non-white man, not once. I'm not attracted to anything but white guys. I find them the most attractive men in the world.

 

NOT OK:

I've never dated a non-white man, not once. I'm not attracted to anything but white guys, they are just the most attractive men in the world.
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soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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No, not exclusively. I find that there are attractive members of all races, but I have grown up being attracted primarily to whiteys. And I'd dated all races except for my own.

 

I apologize, but I don't know you and I won't assume by your avatar that you are asian. What ethnic group do you identify with?

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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No, not exclusively. I find that there are attractive members of all races, but I have grown up being attracted primarily to whiteys. And I'd dated all races except for my own.

 

What is your race?

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