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How much does race/culture matter to you in dating?

CryForNoOne

By CryForNoOne
in General Relationship Discussion

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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But all races tend to possess distinctive physical traits which distinguish them from one another, and often these traits are objectively seen as less desirable than the physical archetype of another race. So yes, race will certainly dictate one's ceiling for physical attractiveness.

 

No, there is beauty in every race .....

Actually looks now is globalized ...people are trying to enhance their look...You see young girls and guys from all over the world who is looking at their favorite celebrities, trying to be like them ...

 

So it's one thing to prefer a Latino, but it's totally another thing to say there is no beautiful\handsome Latino girls or guys because most people prefer Caucasians!

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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No, there is beauty in every race .....

Actually looks now is globalized ...people are trying to enhance their look...You see young girls and guys from all over the world who is looking at their favorite celebrities, trying to be like them ...

 

So it's one thing to prefer a Latino, but it's totally another thing to say there is no beautiful\handsome Latino girls or guys because most people prefer Caucasians!

 

I do 't think anyone is saying that. I think they are just stating their personal preferences. Just because you have a preference, that does not mean you are stating that there are no other attractive people outside of that preference.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I do 't think anyone is saying that. I think they are just stating their personal preferences. Just because you have a preference, that does not mean you are stating that there are no other attractive people outside of that preference.

 

What I understood from his reply that only certain races are considered beautiful according to the rest of the world ...

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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What I understood from his reply that only certain races are considered beautiful according to the rest of the world ...

 

Oh...guess I missed that.

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Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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I've only dated/hooked up within my race. I don't think I've ever been attracted to a girl from another race now that I think about it.

 

But, you are not denying that there are attractive people of all races, just that they are not your preference. Correct? Or not?

readytodate123 Member

readytodate123

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I'm female, and race matters to me, but if I serendipitously or unexpectedly fall in love with someone, race won't matter. I think it matters more if your friend is introducing you to someone or if you are finding your date online.

Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

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That's correct. I see plenty on TV everyday. I just haven't met any in person that I've been attracted to probably because they always get overshadowed by my type, who are the girls I notice first.

 

But I would totally give Halle Berry the best 20 seconds of her life. :laugh:

 

She is pregnant. Still interested?

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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What I understood from his reply that only certain races are considered beautiful according to the rest of the world ...

 

Objectively speaking, yes, that's exactly what I was implying, though I would caveat that by saying that certain races are more beautiful than others...not saying that only certain races are beautiful at all.

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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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The only difference is facial features and skin tone.

 

Watch the Olympics the next time they're on. Why are certain events generally dominated by certain races...? :confused:

 

There's more to it than skin color. And facial features are more prominent and distinctive than you think. If you put a white male next to a black male and an Asian male, all with hypothetically the same color skin, the differences would be remarkable.

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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Leave means nothing to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot is hot in my eyes. What's even more important is values, and how a man portrays himself.

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Djz05 Established Member

Djz05

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Leave means nothing to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot is hot in my eyes. What's even more important is values, and how a man portrays himself.

 

"Leave" you must really hate your phone now jaclyn :)

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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"Leave" you must really hate your phone now jaclyn :)

 

 

 

 

 

Omg.

 

 

I swear I'm not drunk.

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Krieger Established Member

Krieger

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I am attracted to non white women more i just have been ever since elementary school.

 

Wear I live they are just more approachable and come off as friendly and do not have this i am to good for anyone attitude.

 

not all white woman are like that just some wear i live so save your hateful reply's .:p

 

I do not real care much about a woman race just as long as she not a dizzy C word . :cool:

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CryForNoOne Established Member

CryForNoOne

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The reality is that there are good looking people from all races that can attract your fancy.

 

But there is one possible issue. And it manifests itself somewhere down the line. Not in all cases, mind you, but for many. Once the "honeymoon" phase is over and now you have to live with that person in a LTR, cultural differences can be a problem. What you and your family find acceptable their family may not and vice/versa. That's when the problems arise.

 

Being Italian, most of my family that married Italian wound up much happier than the ones that didn't.

 

Ive always admired Jewish people for this. They rarely marry outside of their religion. Their family unit(and extended family) is very strong.

 

While some might find this attitude biased, its plainly the facts. And I am not saying that it wouldnt work out- but issues could arise..

 

If you are just looking for hookups, then this usually doesnt apply.:laugh:

 

TFOY

 

This is a great post but it also really bothers me at the same time. I'm half asian and half white and grew up in the suburbs of NE in the 70s / 80s and hated it. I thought it was living hell at times. I heard tons of racial slurs and got into way too many fights as a kid. Things have gotten better in this country as a whole, but once you get outside of Boston/Cambridge/Brookline, NE is still shockingly provincial. It's this passive racism that creates the difficult interracial dating situations you describe above. And it's total bulls#t! There are still so many towns in NE that are overwhelmingly segregated by race/religion. Oh this town is 80% WASP, the town next to it is 80% Irish/Italian Catholic, that one is 80% Jewish (and asian and muslin because jews are the most tolerant). With all its traffic, shallow people, and overpriced everything, I'd never leave CA because it is easily the most tolerant place in the country for people of mixed heritage and interracial couples...

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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I'm black and will date any race except black women. I remember my dad was trying to fix me up with someone and he kept on about meeting them and I just came out and said I don't date black women. He looked at me like I had said I was gay. I had to explain to him when I started out other races responded more favorably to me than black women. It's more because of the area I am in. They want stereotypical black men. It's not about race particularly I just find its easier for me to find someone I have more things in common with by dating outside my race.

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mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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I'm black and will date any race except black women. I remember my dad was trying to fix me up with someone and he kept on about meeting them and I just came out and said I don't date black women. He looked at me like I had said I was gay. I had to explain to him when I started out other races responded more favorably to me than black women. It's more because of the area I am in. They want stereotypical black men. It's not about race particularly I just find its easier for me to find someone I have more things in common with by dating outside my race.

 

What if you meet a black woman that is attractive and has everything you want personality wise?!

sweetkiwi Established Member

sweetkiwi

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I don't have a "race"...I am a mutt. I don't "care" about race but I find myself attracted to certain ones IRL. Such as Asian, White, and Latin. Never been with a Black man.

 

Since I've already met the man of my dreams I doubt I ever will be with one in anyway beyond a sexual way. My man is pink btw, so white he's see-through. But even if he was purple or green his mind is what hooked me.

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lucy_in_disguise Established Member

lucy_in_disguise

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Black dont crack and Asian don't crack.

 

Middle class white crack like hlel.

 

I'm just sayin.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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I'd love to hear from both men and women. Being a man I might have a slightly skewed view but it seems in general it is more important to women than men. At least, that's what I see from OLD profiles. Not that I'm scouring men's profiles but I don't think I've ever seen a guy specify race if he's looking for a LTR. I'm sure it exists but it seems the rare exception not the norm. Notable exception being the guy who resorts to foreign women (particular asian or eastern european) because they resent American women. That's not true preference, that's desperation...

 

Looking at women's profiles (who are seeking a LTR), I see all the time "message me if you are..." "A tall white dude", "Latin lover" etc... One girl I met from OKC messaged me because she thought I was "her type" based on my pics. When we met she told me she ONLY dates Asian guys. She is a natural blond so I thought it was odd but whatever. After three dates she tells me she doesn't want to date anymore but we can be friends. Why? I'm a white boy and she doesn't date white boys...

 

Last night I had a date with a girl who had that "message me if you are a white guy" line in her profile. I actually referenced the situation above in my opening message to her stating "I'm half white but my blond friend says she's more Asian than I am..." It worked I guess. Then last night I asked her about it and she said not only was it funny but it caused her to reflect on what she wrote and she decided to be more open minded. I'm glad she did because it was a great first date.

 

So why all these shallow shopping lists with women regarding race, height, skin color? To be fair, men can be very shallow too, but it seems our list is one line. Hot or not. Women can have these crazy long lists that seem irrationally detailed sometimes...

 

 

have never had race preference, i fall in love with the guy, i have never dated an asian man,because i had never fallen for one, that has changed,I have now fallen for an asian man,he doesnt feel the same though,he is a reall gentleman, the only problem i would have is probably if they didnt speak english, it is more for me about that man in front of me, than a way a man looks and race is a look.......i like real gentleman, and it doesnt matter to me what race they are as long as i can communicate and they can communicate back.......i dont think i could date someone with really opposing religious beliefs who would expect me to convert....i am not conversion material....i have dated multi culturally.....i have dated aussies and english as well...i have no preference...deb

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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I'm black and will date any race except black women. I remember my dad was trying to fix me up with someone and he kept on about meeting them and I just came out and said I don't date black women. He looked at me like I had said I was gay. I had to explain to him when I started out other races responded more favorably to me than black women. It's more because of the area I am in. They want stereotypical black men. It's not about race particularly I just find its easier for me to find someone I have more things in common with by dating outside my race.

 

This is more cultural than racial though, which I always bring up in these threads and it always falls on deaf ears.

 

You are not (from what I read) turned off by the physical features of black women. Dark skin, bone structure, etc etc.

 

You don't want to date ghetto black women.

 

I grew up in a middle class neighborhood. I have only ever dated middle class people. Life being what it is, the majority of middle class people are white. So I have gone after more of them. But give me a hispanic like myself who is the same as me culturally (not ghetto, can't speak spanish, etc) I will give them a shot like anyone else.

 

This is where I feel we need to be clear on what we're saying. The people that admit to having "racial preferences," are you saying you are not attracted to the skin color, facial features of other races, or do you just identify them with cultural stigmas?

 

In other words, are you genuinely turned off by how an asian looks, or do you identify him as being nerdy and lacking confidence? Are you genuinely turned off by how a hispanic looks, or do you identify them as some ghetto thug?

 

This is the conversation that should be had.

 

I can totally understand people wanting to date those that are culturally similar. But race and culture are two different things.

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SweetLikeCinnamon Established Member

SweetLikeCinnamon

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I'm half black and half middle eastern and I've only ever dated/slept with/kissed white guys. I'm mostly attracted to white guys but can be attracted to other races, but I've never been attracted to a black guy. I also generally only get white guys attracted to me. With the way I've been brought up I have no cultural differences to white guys so this isn't a problem. And I think this is generally a lot less of an issue over here in England than it the US where people see to stick with their own race a lot more.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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What if you meet a black woman that is attractive and has everything you want personality wise?!

No. At this point I am sticking with what has worked for me so far.

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ForeverHopeful1 Established Member

ForeverHopeful1

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I am married to a white guy. Couldnt get more white! I am also white. I have dated other men and they were all a different race with the exception of one ex boyfriend and my husband. I have dated more men outside of my race, than in it. Lol I didnt think it was fair to limit myself and although I ended up with someone who is also white, I was very open to just falling in love, being happy and having children with the person I loved. :love:

 

My girlfriend said the other day that she was always open to dating other races until she wanted to settle down and get married/have children. It may sound shallow, but I did understand her feelings in the matter. She said she wanted her children to look like her/resemble her. She stated that if she had children with an Indian, Chinese, Black person she would have children who didnt look like her. Some may find it shallow. Some may understand. She has dated people outside her race though and is not a racist person, just preferred to have children with someone who was also white, like her.

sooniechan Established Member

sooniechan

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I am married to a white guy. Couldnt get more white! I am also white. I have dated other men and they were all a different race with the exception of one ex boyfriend and my husband. I have dated more men outside of my race, than in it. Lol I didnt think it was fair to limit myself and although I ended up with someone who is also white, I was very open to just falling in love, being happy and having children with the person I loved. :love:

 

My girlfriend said the other day that she was always open to dating other races until she wanted to settle down and get married/have children. It may sound shallow, but I did understand her feelings in the matter. She said she wanted her children to look like her/resemble her. She stated that if she had children with an Indian, Chinese, Black person she would have children who didnt look like her. Some may find it shallow. Some may understand. She has dated people outside her race though and is not a racist person, just preferred to have children with someone who was also white, like her.

About your friend, that's pretty interesting. I'm half Korean and half black but I look almost just like my mom (facial wise) but you know, I'm brown. Isn't there a chance even having kids with someone of the same race, they still don't look like either parent distinctively?

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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No. At this point I am sticking with what has worked for me so far.

 

Well, you are entitled to your preferences. Personally, I'd never date a guy with your attitude. Sounds like you have inferiority complex, no offense.

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