El Brujo Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I went to a speed dating party last night... not some host working for a company, but a cool guy I know who runs his own meetup group. When I started talking to some of the women and the other men before the thing started, most of them sounded like they just started working on themselves and didn't really know what they want yet. For the record, I'm still working on myself. If I could afford to quit my day job, I'd have time to be one of those organized people who really have their s. together. I have a crystal-clear idea of where I'm going with my life, but I can't say the same for many other people I meet who are single and looking. The people I talked to at the party sounded like they were barely at the starting line. After the party, it hit me that I'm not looking for someone who doesn't have their s. together. I don't feel superior to them, because I used to be in their situation... it's just that I think if I got into a relationship with a woman who doesn't know what she wants to do with the rest of her life, then nobody wins.
january2011 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 When I was single, I was looking for someone I was attracted to. Having one's s.together comes afterwards. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I'm in my 40s and attraction, chemistry is still #1. But, a partner that has her life together is a very close second. I find that after chemistry has been established, I, of course, take a good deal of time figuring out just how much of her life she has in control. I was smitten with an ex that seemed to have much to offer on the surface: huge salary, beautiful, intelligent...then it turns out she has mega-debt, anti-social tendencies, poor communication. The latter three simply could not be overlooked. I have my stuff together, I also have two young children and I'm a much more personable/out-going person. Can't afford to take on someone else's issues at this stage in my life.
MrCastle Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I'm 25 so no. Attraction and attraction only. Within reason of course. I would want our lifestyle choices to be the same in regards to believing in safe sex, avoiding drugs, etc. But if she is living at home or something or has a crappy job or is buried under mountains of student loans, that isn't going to prevent me from seeing her. My attraction is purely physical and personality based. Career/where you are in life means nothing to me. Maybe it will when I'm 35. 1
Recommended Posts