Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Ok so me and my gf broke up over something that i thought was insignificant until she explained it a week later. Here's how it went down Kaiten: there was a girl at church today with really nice hair. ex: I know who youre talking about. She is pretty. Kaiten: Yeah! Her hair was like perfect! What is her name? ex: ... Kaiten: Baby? ex: Its over, Kaiten! So while i admit that i did do that to poke fun at her, I didnt quite understand why she got so very upset at that! That really hurt her, i later found out. (She always says her hair looks bad, even though it looks amazing! And i always tell her how beautiful she is. Almost nonstop) So a week later she told me ... "I am tired of being so defensive all the time." I told her that i wouldnt bring up other girls ever again. I gave her flowers. Wrote her an apology letter from the bottom of my heart. And gave her candy. Eventually, i went there....yes...i begged. Nothing worked. So i asked her if she wanted to be with me. her response? "As of now, no!" Yeah that hurt. So as time went by i went into strict NC. Eventually she texted me to check on me. I thought i was my chance so i asked her if we could go on a date sometime. She agreed to the date. Things were looking up, so i asked if i could come over and hang out with her. She said she yeah, but then cancelled. After a while we just stopped communicating. I see her at church still, but she wont talk to me, call me, text me, or even look at me. I assume that because she has shut me out completely, that it is completely over. That brings me to my dilemma. The other girl. The one who's hair i mentioned...I have never even spoken to her. But she is drop dead gorgeous. And she dresses like fire! She's adorable, no question about it. But my ex, who completely ignores me, goes to church too. 1) I dont want to hurt my ex worse. I dont want to completely crush her heart by talking to this other girl. I still care for my ex even if she is being totally cold to me. Also my ex did agree to a date. We just havent gone yet. Since there hasnt been any communication, its 100% over right? 2) If it is over, then i dont want to miss this opportunity to talk to this new girl. She looks amazing, and she has a really cool, beautiful demeanor. And i am a super likeable guy!!! I need help figuring out which path i should take! The pros and the cons! So LoveShack, what do you think i should do?
Come On Man Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 You are both very young and behaving, thinking and acting like it. There, I figured it out. What did I win? 6
Echo000 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 You are both very young and behaving, thinking and acting like it. There, I figured it out. What did I win? This guy won. You guys have some growing up to do.
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Thats a general statement you could post on 90% of these threads on this site. Well nobody is perfect. Im trying to figure out what i should do. What i am really asking here is "When is it really over" does this scenario have the symptoms of a dead relationship? Like should i be caring about her? Or what?
Come On Man Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 It's over long before they decide to tell you. When they dump you, that is when most dumpees realize it's over. Her dumping and ignoring you isn't getting through to you that its over. You tell us, what will she need to do to convince you that its over? 2
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Kaiten - how old are you guys? Before I commit to answering the question - we need to know.
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Ok so me and my gf.... Oh, and it's "My gf and I...." And it's "EX gf and I......" Who is going to the cinema tonight. Alone: I am. Therefore, with someone, John and I. Who do these books belong to? Alone: They belong to me. Therefore with someone, They belong to John and ME. I figure if you're still very young your learning capacity will be good. It will also impress your English teacher to the roof! 1
steveT95 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 You treated her like second best, so you lost her. You praised another girls looks very highly directly to her face. That's a massive rule that guys should not break. If you are so interested in talking to this other girl, clearly you don't feel what you should be feeling for your ex. Leave her alone. She doesn't want you. You hurt her. Just go and talk to that other girl. 1
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Oh, and it's "My gf and I...." And it's "EX gf and I......" Who is going to the cinema tonight. Alone: I am. Therefore, with someone, John and I. Who do these books belong to? Alone: They belong to me. Therefore with someone, They belong to John and ME. I figure if you're still very young your learning capacity will be good. It will also impress your English teacher to the roof! Yeahh thanks for that, Tara. I need to be working on my English instead of being on a forum 1
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 I appreciate that Steve. that makes a lot of sense. Shouldve thought things through. I will certainly know this next relationship 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Yeahh thanks for that, Tara. I need to be working on my English instead of being on a forum So you ARE school-age.... See? Momma knows best. 2
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Bet you cant figure THIS ONE out! I appreciate that Steve. that makes a lot of sense. Shouldve thought things through. I will certainly know this next relationship So 'we' did figure it out. Wish I'd placed that bet now ! :D
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Tara its an extremely complicated story. I wont reveal more unless anyone actually wants to discuss it.
Am4Real Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Let me get this straight... You comment on the beauty of another girl to your EX GF. She reads right through your reasons for asking or commenting and has had enough, ending your relationship. You're scratching your head and join LS. You ask us if you should date the girl you commented on that caused your VERY SMART EX GF to see right through your B.****! Do I have it right? By the way, I'm guessing 18 on your age. Tara, your turn!!
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Im embarrassed enough about it as it is. But i dont see the harm in telling anyone on here who wants to give their insight. Even if people here always lean toward pessimism.
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Tara its an extremely complicated story. I wont reveal more unless anyone actually wants to discuss it. Go ahead. Isn't that what we're here to do? By the way, I'm guessing 18 on your age. Tara, your turn!! I'm actually guessing maybe a little younger.... not by much tho'....
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Im embarrassed enough about it as it is. But i dont see the harm in telling anyone on here who wants to give their insight. Even if people here always lean toward pessimism realism. Fixed that for you.... And trust me - I heard all colours when involved in Counselling, so I am unshockable.
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Let me get this straight... You comment on the beauty of another girl to your EX GF. She reads right through your reasons for asking or commenting and has had enough, ending your relationship. You're scratching your head and join LS. ! Is this not the point of LoveShack? Hm...Or am i supposed to not mess up and already know everything?
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Okay, let's cut the crap. Kaiten - no matter what your age, everyone phukks up sometimes, everyone is at a cross-roads everyone has relationship dilemmas. Young or old, something comes along to blind-side us and we frankly feel left in a fog. If you want to express yourself, go ahead. It's ok. I'll cut the crone talk and come down to earth with you. If we can help - we will. 1
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 And trust me - I heard all colours when involved in Counselling, so I am unshockable. I am 21 she is 17.
TaraMaiden Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I found your other thread. Was that the crux of your situation? You received a lot of good replies there..... Could I also point out that actually, biologically and anatomically, you're not "Fully-Cooked" yet? This is interesting - and seems to help in a lot of situations where the young are finding it double-hard to figure 'stuff' out.... 2
Am4Real Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 The point of this forum is refuge for those suffering the pain of a breakup and seeking support of others or perhaps simply trying to make sense of their situation, again from the turmoils of a break up. You qualified, however you have taken your initial intent of the post and turned it into a situation more suited for the DATING forum. That was the technical answer. The not so technical answer is this: you sound young and inexperienced. Sorry, no harm meant, your posts just read that way. One of the privileges or perhaps realism's of being young is to make honestly-blatant mistakes and if innocently done, be excused and cast off from harm in the spirit of youth. God, I miss those days sometimes. So...as we read your posts and you talk of commenting on another girl to your GF who has probably heard of seen you "wander" before, she breaks it off, having enough, and you then ask us if you should date the girl you were "wandering" about. In other words, your EX GF and now ME are saying to you, your young and making a huge honest-blatant mistake. Learn from it!!!! The choice is yours. Realize what is going on and what you just did or leave the path of innocence which youth grants you. Whatever, you do, you can't ask this forum, a forum where people are having serious break up issues and emotional stress to contribute to your MISTAKE and formulate what might be a life-long serial pattern of infidelity. Get it now? Is this not the point of LoveShack? Hm...Or am i supposed to not mess up and already know everything? 1
Author Kaiten Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 Could I also point out that actually, biologically and anatomically, you're not "Fully-Cooked" yet? Yes ma'am. I may appear a fool through this screen but i did quite a bit of homework on girls, women, the teenage mind, when the frontal lobes of your brain fully develop, where what information is stored in the brain, all that stuff. I tried to navigate this, but ultimately i believe it was my insecurity that was the quick killer of our relationship
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